


And then I met you

by live4magic



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: AU, Bipolar Disorder, Conversations, Fluff, Friendship, Love, M/M, Teasing, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-10-12 15:49:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 41,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10494240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/live4magic/pseuds/live4magic
Summary: There was this volunteer school experiment, where the telephone numbers of one half of the participants were randomly sent to the other half by the schools secretary.Nobody knew from who this number was and who the participants were. The goal of this experiment was to get to know each other without prejudice. They get to know each other without a name, look or detail of class and age.Of course every “couple” was free to create their own rules. It was just an experiment in a world full of stereotypes.And that’s how Isak met his sun.*Or how Isak and Even get to know each other without knowing how the other one looks like.





	1. Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Okay i just wanted to try a texting fic. As you will see english isn't my mother tongue - so sorry for the mistakes!

 

 

**Monday, 10.10.**

 

 

(18:33) Isak:

Hi, what’s up?

 

(18:36) Unknown Number:

Is this what I think it is?

 

(18:36) Isak:

Yes

 

(18:37) Unknown Number:

Somehow creepy

 

(18:37) Isak:

Why?

 

(18:38) Unknown Number:

Isn’t it?

 

(18:39) Isak:

Yeah... kind of

But it could be fun

 

(18:41) Unknown Number:

True, so what are we supposed to do?

 

(18:41) Isak:

Write?

 

(18:42) Isak:

Get to know each other

 

(18:42) Isak:

If you want I mean

 

(18:43) Unknown Number:

Okay

 

(18:43) Unknown Number:

Feels bit like a crazy dating thing

 

(18:44) Isak:

Haha it does

 

(18:46) Unknown Number:

Sooo should we skip the blabla part and move right to the details about us?

 

(18:47) Isak:

Och I thought it would be more fun

 

(18:47) Unknown Number:

We could make it fun?

 

(18:48) Isak:

Now I know one detail

 

(18:48) Unknown Number:

?

 

(18:50) Isak:

You have humor

 

(18:51) Unknown Number:

Just bc I wrote the word “fun”?

 

(18:51) Isak:

Yes

 

(18:52) Unknown Number:

You are strange

 

(18:52) Isak:

Huh? Wtf you are strange

 

(18:53) Unknown Number:

Thanks :)

 

(18:54) Isak:

It wasn’t meant as a compliment.

 

(18:54) Unknown Number:

:(

 

(18:55) Unknown Number:

Don’t disappoint me already

 

(18:55) Isak:

Oh shut up

 

(18:56) Unknown Number:

Why are you so mean?

You don’t know me…

 

(18:57) Isak:

Yet

 

(18:57) Unknown Number:

I don’t have to write back

 

(18:58) Isak:

Okay okay

 

(18:58) Isak:

Sorry!

 

(19:00) Isak:

Really! I’m sorry!

 

(19:01) Unknown Number:

Apology accepted

 

(19:02) Unknown Number:

You didn’t need to say sorry twice you know

 

(19:02) Unknown Number:

You must have a very lonely life

 

(19:03) Isak:

Oh fuck you!

 

(19:04) Unknown Number:

Just kidding?

 

(19:05) Unknown Number:

So what details should we discuss?

 

(19:05) Isak:

Idk

 

(19:06) Isak:

How about to make a little game with rules out of it?

 

(19:07) Unknown Number:

Okay? What do you have in mind?

 

(19:08) Isak:

To make it more exciting

 

(19:08) Unknown Number:

Clearly?

 

(19:09) Unknown Number:

Oh god, please don’t tell me you are a fucking creep who is going to send me pictures of one of your body parts every day!

 

(19:10) Isak:

Wtf is wrong with you?

 

(19:10) Unknown Number:

You never know

 

(19:11) Unknown Number:

Haven’t you learned as a child to be careful with strangers?

 

(19:11) Isak:

Uh jaa?

 

(19:12) Isak:

But your pic idea wasn’t that bad

 

(19:13) Unknown Number:

Creep

So tell me about the rules

 

(19:13) Isak:

You’re a creep!!

 

(19:14) Isak:

Okay so how about we don’t text details like what class we are in and how we look like. I mean for now?

 

(19:15) Isak:

We can do some questioning based on the rules

 

(19:15) Unknown Number:

Alright

 

(19:16) Isak:

Cool

 

(19:17) Unknown Number:

I’ll start

 

(19:18) Isak:

kk

 

(19:18) Unknown Number:

Childhood Trauma?

 

(19:19) Isak:

Wtf

 

(19:20) Unknown Number:

What? I wanted to make it more exciting??

 

(19:20) Isak:

Still, wtf?!

 

(19:21) Unknown Number:

You wanted to make a game out of it

 

(19:21) Unknown Number:

Don’t blame me

 

(19:22) Unknown Number:

And now i should have aroused your curiosity

 

(19:24) Isak:

Fine

 

(19:24) Isak:

God, are you always like that?

 

(19:25) Unknown Number:

You will see

 

(19:26) Isak:

Now I’m just keep questioning me why

 

(19:26) Unknown Number:

Mean

 

(19:28) Isak:

How a spider crawled over my face when I woke up

 

(19:28) Unknown Number:

What?

 

(19:29) Isak:

I was answering your question

 

(19:30) Unknown Number:

I know but what?

A spider? Really?

 

(19:30) Isak:

She was black

 

(19:31) Unknown Number:

A spider?

 

(19:31) Isak:

And huge

 

(19:31) Unknown Number:

Spider?

 

(19:32) Isak:

I was a fucking child!

 

(19:32) Unknown Number:

Spider…

 

(19:33) Isak:

Hey! Don’t laugh at me!

 

(19:33) Unknown Number:

I’ll try

 

(19:34) Isak:

Who is mean?

 

(19:34) Unknown Number:

Okay okay

 

(19:35) Unknown Number:

Thank you for answering my question

 

(19:36) Isak:

You’re welcome

 

(19:37) Isak:

my turn

 

(19:37) Unknown Number:

Oh my can’t wait

 

(19:38) Isak:

Shut up

 

(19:38) Unknown Number:

I’m serious!

 

(19:40) Isak:

When you drink alcohol, what’s your fav?

 

(19:40) Unknown Number:

Really?

 

(19:41) Isak:

What?

 

(19:42) Unknown Number:

Are you that into drinking?

 

(19:42) Isak:

It’s just a question

 

(19:42) Unknown Number:

Your first one

 

(19:43) Isak:

So what?

 

(19:44) Unknown Number:

I thought it would be more special

 

(19:46) Isak:

Fy and answer

 

(19:48) Unknown Number:

Beer and Scotch

 

(19:48) Isak:

I knew it!!

 

(19:49) Unknown Number:

What do you knew?

 

(19:49) Isak:

You are a guy!

 

(19:50) Unknown Number:

Just bc this are my favorites?

 

(19:50) Unknown Number:

Wtf

 

(19:51) Isak:

No, I figured it out earlier

But I wasn’t sure

 

(19:51) Unknown Number:

You did?

 

(19:53) Isak:

Yes

 

(19:54) Unknown Number:

Congrats, I know that you’re a guy too

 

(19:54) Isak:

Huh why?

 

(19:55) Unknown Number:

I knew it by the way you wrote

 

(19:56) Unknown Number:

Okay after the spider thing I had my doubts

 

(19:57) Isak:

Shut up

 

(19:58) Unknown Number:

So am I right?

 

(20:00) Isak:

I hope you aren’t disappointed

 

(20:01) Unknown Number:

What makes you think that?

 

(20:02) Isak:

I could have been a hot chick

 

(20:04) Unknown Number:

You could have but it makes no difference

 

(20:05) Isak:

What do you mean?

 

(20:07) Unknown Number:

I’m bisexual

 

(20:08) Isak:

Oh

 

(20:08) Unknown Number:

What?

 

(20:09) Isak:

Nothing

 

(20:10) Isak:

Just didn’t expect that

 

(20:10) Isak:

:)

 

(20:12) Unknown Number:

Me being that honest with you?

 

(20:13) Isak:

Yeah

 

(20:17) Unknown Number:

So you could be a hot guy ;)

 

(20:19) Isak:

Really?

 

(20:19) Unknown Number:

Yeah?

 

(20:20) Isak:

Are you going to flirt with me?

 

(20:21) Unknown Number:

Are you uncomfortable?

 

(20:22) Isak:

Idk

 

(20:23) Isak:

It’s strange though

 

(20:23) Unknown Number:

What do you mean?

 

(20:24) Isak:

We know each other for maybe two hours?

 

(20:26) Unknown Number:

True

 

(20:28) Isak:

But it feels somehow longer

 

(20:29) Unknown Number:

Somehow yeah

 

(20:30) Isak:

Ah damn it

 

(20:30) Unknown Number:

?

 

(20:32) Isak:

Have to go

 

(20:33) Unknown Number:

Okay bye

 

(20:33) Isak:

Bye stranger

 

 

 

**Tuesday, 11.10.**

 

(13:01) Unknown Number:

Are you disappointed?

 

(13:10) Isak:

Huh?

 

(13:12) Unknown Number:

Me being a guy and not a hot chick

 

(13:14) Isak:

No

 

(13:16) Unknown Number:

Really?

 

(13:17) Isak:

Really

 

(13:18) Unknown Number:

:)

 

(13:18) Isak:

:)

 

 

 


	2. Who are you

 

**Tuesday, 11.10.**

 

(20:46) Isak:

How was your day stranger?

 

(21:30) Unknown Number:

Strange

 

(21:38) Isak:

?

 

(21:44) Unknown Number:

I kept looking at people I don’t know in school and figured out that everyone is staring into his phone

 

(21:45) Unknown Number:

Kind of sad…

 

(21:47) Isak:

Yeah true

 

(21:47) Isak:

But you can’t do that!

 

(21:48) Unknown Number:

Sorry! But it doesn’t work anyway so...

 

(21:50) Isak:

But stop it or we have to make time rules!

 

(21:51) Unknown Number:

Okay okay I’ll stop

 

(21:51) Unknown Number:

How was your day?

 

(21:52) Isak:

Not very interesting

 

(21:53) Unknown Number:

Do you have time now?

 

(21:53) Isak:

Yeah, why?

 

(21:55) Unknown Number:

We could go on with the questions?

 

(21:55) Isak:

Sure

 

(21:56) Unknown Number:

Do you like films and series?

 

(21:56) Isak:

I do

 

(21:57) Unknown Number:

Favorites?

 

(21:58) Isak:

Narcos and Stranger Things

 

(21:59) Unknown Number:

Narcos? Really?

 

(21:59) Isak:

Hey! Don’t judge

 

(22:00) Unknown Number:

Alright but you are lucky you know me now

 

(22:00) Isak:

?

 

(22:02) Unknown Number:

I will teach you and show you much better things

 

(22:03) Isak:

You’re a film nerd?

 

(22:03) Unknown Number:

Kind of

 

(22:04) Isak:

Oh god

 

(22:05) Unknown Number:

What?

 

(22:05) Isak:

Nothing

 

(22:06) Unknown Number:

Why Stranger Things?

 

(22:07) Isak:

It’s good?

 

(22:08) Unknown Number:

Yes but why do you like it so much?

 

(22:10) Isak:

I think bc of the whole upside down idea

 

(22:10) Isak:

It’s like a parallel universe

 

(22:11) Unknown Number:

Hm

 

(22:12) Isak:

You haven’t thought about it?

 

(22:13) Unknown Number:

Not really

 

(22:13) Isak:

It’s so interesting!

 

(22:14) Unknown Number:

It kind of freaks me out

 

(22:14) Isak:

Huh?

 

(22:15) Unknown Number:

You can teach me

 

(22:16) Isak:

I will

 

(22:19) Unknown Number:

Soooo do you like science?

 

(22:20) Isak:

Yes

 

(22:20) Unknown Number:

Nerd

 

(22:22) Isak:

Hey!

 

(22:22) Unknown Number:

What? You called me that as well

 

(22:24) Isak:

Yeah okay

 

(22:25) Unknown Number:

Hey I have to go

 

(22:25) Isak:

Okay

 

(22:26) Unknown Number:

Sorry! Bye

 

(22:27) Isak:

Bye

 

 

 

**Wednesday, 12.10.**

 

(10:22) Isak:

Hey, are you alright?

 

(11:22) Unknown Number:

Hi, yeah I’m okay

 

(11:33) Isak:

You can talk with me if you want to

 

(11:36) Unknown Number:

What makes you think there is something on my mind?

 

(11:38) Isak:

Idk

Had a bad feeling after you ended our conversation so abruptly

 

(11:39) Isak:

Are you uncomfortable about writing with me?

 

(11:40) Unknown Number:

No!

 

(11:44) Isak:

Good :)

 

(11:46) Unknown Number:

:)

 

(11:47) Unknown Number:

But thanks for asking though

 

(11:47) Unknown Number:

Are you alright?

 

(11:49) Isak:

Yeah

 

(11:50) Unknown Number:

Okay

 

 

 

 

 

(17:06) Unknown Number:

Okay

 

(17:10) Isak:

?

 

(17:10) Unknown Number:

You were right

 

(17:11) Isak:

??

 

(17:12) Unknown Number:

Your bad feeling

 

(17:13) Isak:

Tell me

 

(17:15) Unknown Number:

I don’t want to bother you with my problems

 

(17:16) Isak:

You don’t

 

(17:17) Unknown Number:

Are you sure?

 

(17:19) Isak:

I am, you can talk with me about anything you like

 

(17:20) Isak:

I think it could help, especially when we both don’t know each other by name and look

 

(17:21) Unknown Number:

Yeah…

 

(17:22) Unknown Number:

Okay

 

(17:22) Unknown Number:

I am pissed

 

(17:23) Isak:

About what?

 

(17:25) Unknown Number:

My girlfriend

 

(17:26) Isak:

Oh okay

 

(17:28) Unknown Number:

The thing is she is a bit the controlling type and I’m so fucking tired of it

 

(17:29) Isak:

I understand

 

(17:30) Unknown Number:

But we are together for four years

 

(17:31) Isak:

Woah, that’s a long time

 

(17:31) Unknown Number:

It is

 

(17:32) Isak:

Did you tried to talk to her?

 

(17:33) Unknown Number:

Yes, but she can’t stop

 

(17:34) Isak:

And now you are in an unhappy relationship?

 

(17:36) Unknown Number:

Kind of

 

(17:38) Isak:

Do you love her? (You don’t have to answer that)

 

(17:40) Unknown Number:

I don’t know

 

(17:41) Isak:

Okay

 

(17:43) Isak:

I’m maybe not a pro in relationships but I think you have to change something

 

(17:44) Unknown Number:

Yeah me too

 

(17:45) Isak:

It don’t have to be now

 

(17:46) Isak:

Just soon

 

(17:46) Isak:

For you to be happy :)

 

(17:48) Unknown Number:

Yeah you are right

 

(17:49) Unknown Number:

I know it already for a longer time but hearing it from someone else helps somehow

 

(17:50) Unknown Number:

Thank you Stranger :)

 

(17:50) Isak:

Anytime :)

 

(17:54) Unknown Number:

So what means you aren’t a pro in relationships?

 

(17:56) Isak:

Idk, don’t have a lot of experience

 

(17:57) Unknown Number:

I’m surprised

 

(17:58) Isak:

How’s that?

 

(17:59) Unknown Number:

You sound to me like a really great guy

 

(17:59) Isak:

Haha

 

(18:00) Unknown Number:

Really

 

(18:02) Isak:

Okay thanks :)

 

(18:03) Isak:

I was in one, half a year ago

 

(18:04) Unknown Number:

What happened?

 

(18:07) Isak:

It didn’t feel right

 

(18:08) Unknown Number:

Fair point

 

(18:09) Isak:

Yeah

 

(18:11) Unknown Number:

It’s kind of strange that I don’t even know your name and we text about this things…

 

(18:12) Isak:

It is…

 

(18:14) Unknown Number:

Couldn’t we text each other the first letter of our name?

 

(18:15) Isak:

That’s dangerous

 

(18:15) Unknown Number:

?

 

(18:17) Isak:

Now you could walk into school and search class lists and pick guys which start with this letter

 

(18:18) Unknown Number:

We could make a deal to not look it up?

 

(18:19) Isak:

We could

 

(18:20) Unknown Number:

What is life without a risk?

 

(18:22) Isak:

You first

 

(18:25) Unknown Number:

E

 

(18:26) Isak:

Oooh that’s kind of exciting!

 

(18:27) Unknown Number:

Hey! Tell me yours!

 

(18:29) Isak:

Hm…

 

(18:30) Unknown Number:

I thought we play fair?

 

(18:33) Isak:

Yeah yeah we do

 

(18:34) Isak:

I

 

(18:35) Unknown Number:

Hi I

 

(18:35) Isak:

Hi E

 

(18:36) E:

God, I want to know sooo much more

 

(18:37) E:

I’m not satisfied :(

 

(18:38) Isak:

Me neither :(

 

(18:39) E:

Who are you who are you who are you who are you

 

(18:41) Isak:

Stop!!

 

(18:42) E:

WHO ARE YOU

 

(18:44) Isak:

Don’t ruin this E!

 

(18:46) E:

I’m sorry

 

(18:46) E:

I won’t

 

(18:47) Isak:

Good

 

(18:49) E:

I :)

 

(18:49) E:

It suits you

 

(18:52) Isak:

You think so?

 

(18:52) E:

Yes

 

(18:53) Isak:

Thx, E suits you too

 

(18:55) E:

So it’s your turn with a question if you like

 

(18:56) Isak:

Okay

 

(18:57) Isak:

Fav director?

 

(18:58) E:

Baz Luhrmann

 

(19:00) E:

Are you googling him right now?

 

(19:02) E:

I?

 

(19:04) Isak:

Yes

 

(19:04) Isak:

And wtf

 

(19:05) Isak:

Are you sure you are a guy?

 

(19:06) E:

Hey!

 

(19:07) Isak:

Romeo + Juliet?

 

(19:07) E:

Yes?

 

(19:08) Isak:

Seriously?

 

(19:08) E:

Seriously

 

(19:09) Isak:

Why

 

(19:12) E:

It’s epic! You should watch it before judging!

 

(19:12) Isak:

…

 

(19:13) E:

Fy

 

(19:14) Isak:

Okay okay

 

(19:16) E:

What?

 

(19:18) Isak:

I will watch it

I’m curious now

 

(19:19) E:

Good!

 

(19:20) Isak:

But I have to do some homework first

 

(19:21) E:

You will watch it today?

 

(19:22) Isak:

Yeah, why not?

 

(19:23) E:

Great!!

 

(19:24) Isak:

Text you later E

 

(19:24) E:

Can’t wait I

 

 

 

 

 

(20:55) Isak:

I’ll start now

 

(20:59) E:

Focus and write me after you watched it!

 

(21:00) E:

And you don’t have to be ashamed if you have to cry

 

(21:02) Isak:

I’m not going to cry

 

(21:02) E:

Mhm

 

(21:03) Isak:

Yeah! And pssst now

 

 

 

 

(23:02) Isak:

Fuck

 

(23:02) E:

:D

 

(23:03) E:

You cried

 

(23:05) Isak:

No

 

(23:06) E:

You’re such a bad liar

 

(23:07) E:

Even over the phone

 

(23:07) Isak:

Shut up

 

(23:09) E:

So?

 

(23:09) Isak:

Yeah

 

(23:10) E:

You loved it

 

(23:13) Isak:

I did

 

(23:14) E:

And you cried

 

(23:16) Isak:

I did

 

(23:17) E:

Thanks to me

 

(23:17) Isak:

…

 

(23:19) E:

Come on, without me you wouldn’t have had this amazing experience!

 

(23:20) Isak:

Maybe

 

(23:21) E:

Are you still crying?

 

(23:22) Isak:

Uh no?

 

(23:23) E:

So your tear drops on your cheeks are drying

 

(23:24) E:

Can you still feel them?

 

(23:26) Isak:

Fuck you E!

 

(23:27) E:

Haha sorry

 

(23:28) Isak:

You clearly enjoy it a bit too much for my taste

 

(23:29) E:

I do

 

(23:30) E:

Let me be proud about my great film suggestions!

 

(23:31) Isak:

Okay okay

 

(23:31) Isak:

Thank you E

 

(23:32) Isak:

Without you I wouldn’t get to have this beautiful experience about watching true love on screen

 

(23:33) Isak:

So beautiful that my eyes couldn’t hold the tears anymore

 

(23:34) Isak:

And so I teared apart just bc of you

 

(23:35) Isak:

Happy?

 

(23:37) E:

Very

 

(23:37) Isak:

Good

 

(23:39) E:

I haven’t watched the film without crying ever

 

(23:39) Isak:

Yeah?

 

(23:41) E:

Yeah

 

(23:42) E:

So you’re not alone

 

(23:43) Isak:

Cool

 

(23:44) E:

Do you see the epic in the film?

 

(23:45) Isak:

I do

 

(23:45) Isak:

I see it in the looks

 

(23:46) Isak:

When they look at each other…

 

(23:47) E:

Yes, and the emotions in the words

 

(23:47) E:

And Leonardo

 

(23:48) Isak:

Hahah so you like it bc of him?

 

(23:49) E:

No

 

(23:49) E:

He is hot though

 

(23:50) Isak:

He is

 

(23:51) E:

You think so?

 

(23:51) Isak:

Yes

 

(23:53) E:

Oh it’s amazing

 

(23:54) Isak:

What?

 

(23:55) E:

To get to know your soft side

 

(23:56) Isak:

Ah shut up

 

(23:57) E:

:)

 

(23:59) E:

Are you going to this school party on Friday?

 

(00:00) Isak:

Yeah I think so

 

(00:01) Isak:

You go too?

 

(00:01) E:

I think I will

 

(00:02) Isak:

Haha strange

 

(00:03) Isak:

We will both be there but we won’t recognize each other

 

(00:04) E:

Yeah, could be fun

 

(00:04) Isak:

And weird

 

(00:05) E:

Let’s stuck with the fun part

 

(00:06) Isak:

But we can’t write then

 

(00:08) E:

I see your point

 

(00:10) Isak:

Good night E

 

(00:11) E:

Good night Mr. Idontcry

 

(00:12) Isak:

Hey! Is it how it will go from now on?!

 

(00:13) E:

Just teasing

 

(00:13) Isak:

Stop

 

(00:14) E:

Sorry I, it made me just very happy

 

(00:15) Isak:

Me crying?

 

(00:17) E:

Yeah as well

But more that you liked it :)

 

(00:18) Isak:

Fy :)

 

(00:19) E:

Sweet dreams

 

(00:19) Isak:

Sweet dreams

 

 


	3. Noble man

**Thursday, 13.10.**

 

 

(22:22) Isak:

How're things going?

 

(22:33) E:

Okay and what about you?

  

(22:33) Isak:

Good

 

(22:34) Isak:

How are things with your girlfriend?

 

(22:35) E:

I don't know...

 

(22:36) Isak:

Do you want to talk about it?

 

(22:36) E:

No, but thanks :)

 

(22:37) Isak:

:)

 

(22:39) E:

Tell me something about you

 

(22:40) Isak:

Why?

 

(22:40) E:

I’m curious

 

(22:41) E:

Who is this great guy…

 

(22:41) E:

And because that’s the whole point?

 

(22:42) Isak:

Then ask :)

 

(22:42) Isak:

What do you want to know?

 

(22:44) E:

Everything you are ready to share with me ;)

 

(22:45) Isak:

Haha

 

(22:46) E:

Do you like olives?

 

(22:46) Isak:

Huh?

 

(22:47) E:

Do you think olives taste good?

 

(22:47) Isak:

No

 

(22:48) Isak:

Why do you ask something like that?!

 

(22:48) E:

Why not?

 

(22:49) Isak:

I thought you will ask something more SPECIAL

 

(22:49) E:

Hahah fy

 

(22:50) E:

But I’ll teach you

 

(22:50) E:

To like them

 

(22:51) Isak:

You can try and fail

 

(22:52) E:

We will see

 

(22:53) Isak:

…

 

(22:54) E:

Okay then tell me what you’re doing in your free time

 

(22:56) Isak:

Lame

 

(22:56) E:

Hey!

 

(22:57) Isak:

I expected more interesting questions from you

 

(22:58) E:

So you admit that my questions are interesting? :D

 

(22:59) Isak:

Not all of them

 

(23:00) E:

Oh you do flatter me

 

(23:00) Isak:

Shut up

 

(23:01) E:

So I’m still waiting…

 

(23:02) Isak:

Not much

 

(23:03) Isak:

Meet friends, watch some films or series, sports or hang out with my roommates

 

(23:04) E:

Uh so you are hot

 

(23:04) Isak:

Huh?

 

(23:04) E:

Sports

 

(23:05) Isak:

Yeah?

 

(23:06) E:

It means you have muscles

 

(23:07) Isak:

Hahah yeah I think so

 

(23:08) Isak:

You don’t?

 

(23:08) E:

I do

 

(23:09) Isak:

Fuck, stop it

 

(23:09) E:

What?

 

(23:10) Isak:

This queer conversation right now

 

(23:11) E:

Don’t you like it when someone thinks you are hot?

 

(23:11) Isak:

Of course I like it

 

(23:12) Isak:

But you don’t know how I look like

 

(23:13) Isak:

And just because I have muscles it doesn’t mean that I’m hot

 

(23:13) E:

But you are

 

(23:14) Isak:

E!!!!

 

(23:14) E:

Okay sorry, I just love to tease you <3

 

(23:15) E:

So how did you end up in a shared flat?

 

(23:16) E:

You don’t need to tell me of course

 

(23:18) Isak:

Basically bc I couldn’t stand it to live at my parents’ house anymore.

 

(23:19) Isak:

The thing is the situation there was a bit fucked up

 

(23:21) Isak:

And I didn’t and still don’t have the energy to deal with it

 

(23:22) Isak:

It was too much

 

(23:22) Isak:

So yeah

 

(23:22) Isak:

Here I am

 

(23:24) E:

I’m sorry to hear that

 

(23:25) Isak:

It’s alright

 

(23:25) E:

Thanks for sharing

 

(23:26) E:

How is it to live in a shared flat?

 

(23:27) Isak:

Oh it’s great

 

(23:28) Isak:

You can do whatever you like

 

(23:29) Isak:

Without annoying parents which tell you what you have to do

 

(23:29) Isak:

Okay apart from Eskild

 

(23:29) E:

Eskild?

 

(23:30) Isak:

One of my roommates

 

(23:30) E:

Okay?

 

(23:31) Isak:

He can be annoying some times

 

(23:31) Isak:

But it’s chill

 

(23:32) E:

Sounds cool :)

 

(23:32) Isak:

It is

 

(23:33) Isak:

Do you live with your parents?

 

(23:33) E:

Yeah

 

(23:34) E:

We have a good relationship, I’m lucky :)

 

(23:35) Isak:

Cool :)

 

(23:35) E:

Mhm :)

 

(23:36) E:

We should get some sleep

 

(23:37) E:

We have a long, long day tomorrow

 

(23:38) Isak:

Oh yeah the party…

 

(23:39) E:

Yes, are you excited?

 

(23:39) Isak:

A bit maybe

 

(23:40) E:

Can’t wait to see you ;)

 

(23:40) Isak:

Huh?

 

(23:41) E:

There is the risk that I will see you without knowing that you are you

 

(23:41) Isak:

Haha true

 

(23:42) E:

So go and have your beauty sleep

 

(23:43) Isak:

You think I need beauty sleep?

 

(23:43) E:

Yes

 

(23:44) Isak:

Thank you very much…..

 

(23:46) E:

You need to be pretty for me tomorrow

 

(23:47) Isak:

Oh shut up

 

(23:47) E:

:D

 

(23:48) E:

Sweet dreams

 

(23:49) Isak:

Good night E

 

 

 

 

**Friday, 14.10.**

 

 

(15:42) E:

How about a risk tonight?

 

(16:42) Isak:

Uh what’s hunting your mind?

 

(16:46) E:

You ;)

 

(16:47) E:

I will write you at the party

 

(16:47) E:

And you have to write back

 

(16:47) Isak:

Okay?

 

(16:48) E:

But make it inconspicuous

 

(16:50) Isak:

I can do that

 

(16:50) E:

Good

 

(16:52) E:

But stop texting me when you are wasted

 

(16:54) Isak:

Huh?

 

(16:55) Isak:

Me and wasted? Me?

 

(16:57) E:

Yes you ;)

 

(16:57) Isak:

:O

 

(16:58) Isak:

We will see who is going to be wasted first

 

(16:59) E:

Can’t wait :D

 

 

 

 

 

(19:05) E:

Are you ready Igor?

 

(19:15) Isak:

Igor?

 

(19:19) E:

It could be your name

 

(19:21) Isak:

But it’s not

 

(19:22) E:

You shouldn’t have said that!

 

(19:24) Isak:

Sorry Edward

 

(19:28) E:

Edward?

 

(19:33) Isak:

It’s a noble name

 

(19:34) Isak:

You’re a noble man ;)

 

(19:36) E:

Uuh who’s flirting here? ;)

 

(19:40) Isak:

Edmund?

 

(19:41) Isak:

It’s noble as well

 

(19:43) E:

No and no

 

(19:44) E:

Mine is much better you will see ;)

 

(19:47) Isak:

You think so?

 

(19:50) E:

I do!

 

(19:50) E:

So, I will write you later at the party

 

(19:51) E:

Have fun in the meantime

 

(20:00) Isak:

You too Emil, you too

 

 

 

 

 

(21:21) E:

Hey hottie

 

(21:21) Isak:

Hottie? You don’t know how I look like!

 

(21:26) E:

Who knows…?

 

(21:28) Isak:

Stop teasing me!

 

(21:29) E:

Okay sorry

 

(21:40) E:

So how are things?

 

(21:52) Isak:

Okay I guess

Bad music though

 

(21:53) E:

Yeah I can hear that

 

(21:56) Isak:

In which room are you right now?

 

(21:58) E:

I’m not going to answer this question

 

(22:00) Isak:

Come on!

 

(22:10) E:

We have to be careful

 

(22:22) Isak:

What’s life without a risk?

 

(22:30) E:

Hahaha

 

(22:30) E:

True

 

(22:31) E:

But no

 

(22:31) E:

It’s very difficult not to focus on the people which are looking into their phones

 

(22:33) E:

I’m so curious how you look like!

 

(22:38) E:

Okay okay, I'll tell you in which room I am

 

(22:50) E:

?!

 

(23:03) E:

I?

 

(23:23) E:

Are you okay?

 

(23:35) E:

Can I do something?

 

(23:51) E:

Okay maybe you are drunk as fuck or you have better things to do :(

 

(23:53) E:

I should also have better things to do at a party…

 

(23:53)E:

I think...?

 

(23:55) E:

God this sounds sad

  

(00:06) E:

Ivan?

 

(00:20) E:

I miss yooooou!

 

(00:22) E:

Okay I’ll stop

 

(00:24) E:

And I’m not a creep

 

(00:56) E:

(Please reply when you read it, I need to know if you are safe!)

 

(01:01) E:

_"And true love waits in haunted attics_

_And true love lives on lollipops and crisps"_

 

 

 

(02:02) Isak:

Fuckk

 

(02:05) Isak:

Sorrx

 

(02:08) Isak:

Lodt ma pjone

 

(02:11) Isak:

Miss yoi tooooooo <3

 

 


	4. Last night

**Saturday, 15.10.**

 

  


(10:04) E:

How did you manage to lose your phone??

 

(10:04) E:

I hope you had a great night

 

(10:04) E:

You're going to feel like shit today

 

(10:05) E:

But I’m here to help you with good films or conversations if you like :)

 

 

 

(14:30) Isak:

Oh god

 

(14:33) E:

Welcome back!

 

(14:34) E:

Do you really slept that long?

 

(14:35) Isak:

No but I had to charge my phone

 

(14:36) Isak:

I’m so sorry about last night!

 

(14:37) E:

There is nothing you need to be sorry about!

 

(14:37) Isak:

I do!

 

(14:37) E:

How was your night?

 

(14:38) Isak:

God, please don’t remind me about last night

 

(14:38) E:

What’s up?

 

(14:39) Isak:

Nothing important

 

(14:39) Isak:

I was so wasted

 

(14:40) E:

I knew it ;)

 

(14:41) E:

So what happened? Tell me

 

(14:43) E:

Did you hook up with someone?

 

(14:48) E:

I?

 

(14:50) Isak:

Yes

 

(14:52) E:

Uuh, are you interested?

 

(14:53) Isak:

No, not really

 

(14:53) Isak:

I mean she is hot but no

 

(14:54) Isak:

We made out and I fled

 

(14:54) Isak:

And got wasted

 

(14:54) Isak:

End of story

 

(14:56) E:

So it was a girl

 

(14:57) E:

I would love to know who it was...

 

(14:59) Isak:

Let’s talk about something else please

 

(15:00) Isak:

I really want to forget about it

 

(15:01) Isak:

How was your night?

 

(15:02) E:

It was okay

 

(15:03) Isak:

Happened something?

 

(15:06) E:

Kind of

 

(15:07) E:

I broke up with my girlfriend…

 

(15:08) Isak:

Oh wow, I’m so sorry

 

(15:08) Isak:

How do you feel?

 

(15:10) E:

Relieved

 

(15:10) E:

But also sad, we were together for a long time…

 

(15:11) Isak:

Yes I understand

 

(15:11) Isak:

I hope it was the right thing for you to do :)

 

(15:14) E:

It was

 

(15:15) Isak:

Okay, then I’m happy for you :)

 

(15:17) E:

Thanks I :)

 

(15:18) Isak:

Do you broke up with her at the party?

 

(15:19) E:

No, before.  We fought again and I was so fucking tired of it. 

So I ended it. Like seriously.

 

(15:20) E:

_“There is no turning back now…”_

 

(15:22) Isak:

Nas?

 

(15:22) Isak:

Okay, I’m here to talk whenever you like

 

(15:23) Isak:

If you want to process on some things, I mean 4 years were a long time...

 

(15:26) E:

Yes Nas <3

 

(15:27) E:

No it’s alright for now, but thanks :)

 

(15:29) E:

You are great I :)

 

(15:29) Isak:

Oh, you are great too E! :)

 

 

 

 

 

(17:01) Isak:

Was I hot?

 

(17:08) E:

?

 

(17:10) Isak:

Yesterday

 

(17:11) E:

Of course

 

(17:12) Isak:

Of course?

 

(17:13) E:

You are always hot, you have to be

 

(17:13) Isak:

I am

 

(17:14) E:

And cute

 

(17:15) Isak:

That too

 

(17:17) E:

Although I saw a very, very, very cute guy yesterday

 

(17:18) E:

For a second or something

 

(17:19) E:

First I thought he was a mirage

 

(17:30) Isak:

Haha maybe he was a ghost

 

(17:32) E:

No an angel

 

(17:33) E:

I saw him in school sometimes as well 

 

(17:38) Isak:

Angel?

 

(17:39) E:

He looks like an angel

 

(17:44) Isak:

You have to do something!

 

(17:44) E:

What?

 

(17:45) Isak:

Get to know him?!

 

(17:46) E:

I will I will. I just wait for the right moment

 

(17:47) E:

For now I don’t want to plan anything

 

(17:51) Isak:

You're right

 

(17:51) E:

I’m also so curious how you look like

 

(17:52) Isak:

Me toooo

 

(17:51) E:

How long do we have to do this?

 

(17:53) Isak:

As long as we want

 

(17:54) E:

And how long do we want?

 

(17:54) Isak:

I don’t know

 

(17:56) E:

I mean I think we reached the experiment goals

 

(17:57) E:

We got to know each other without prejudice

 

(17:59) E:

We wrote a lot and I like you …

 

(18:01) Isak:

I like you 2 :)

 

(18:01) Isak:

But I would miss it somehow

 

(18:03) E:

Yeah I would miss it as well

 

(18:04) E:

BUT it could be just a beginning and not the end?!

 

(18:04) Isak:

Of course not!

 

(18:05) Isak:

We can fix a date?

 

(18:06) E:

Yeah sounds good

 

(18:07) E:

Should we meet then?

 

(18:08) Isak:

I have an idea

 

(18:09) Isak:

Tuesday evening we can talk about us. How we look like and how old we are…

 

(18:10) Isak:

So we have something to guess and think about until the next day where we fix a date?

 

(18:11) Isak:

Do you have time on Wednesday?

 

(18:14) E:

I have

 

(18:15) E:

Let’s do that

 

(18:16) Isak:

Cool :)

 

(18:18) E:

Yeah :)

 

 

 

 

 

(19:35) Isak:

Can I ask you a question?

 

(19:45) E:

Sure

 

(19:46) Isak:

How did you find out that you are bisexual?

 

(19:46) Isak:

If I may ask

 

(19:47) E:

You may

 

(19:49) E:

Basically I found out because I hooked up with a guy once

 

(19:51) E:

We were both drunk but it felt right, if you get what I mean

 

(19:53) E:

Sonja and I were on a break for a couple of months then. It was a bit a hard time for me where I was questioning me and my life entirely.

 

(19:55) E:

I was at party’s every weekend. So I met a lot of people and it turned out that I also thought about boys in a flirty way.

 

(19:56) E:

I think that was the time when I realized that I’m Bisexual

 

(19:57) E:

So yeah

 

(19:58) Isak:

Okay, thanks for sharing

 

(19:58) E:

Anytime :)

  


(19:59) Isak:

So her name is Sonja

 

(19:59) Isak:

It’s great though

 

(20:59) E:

Yes...

  


(20:59) E:

?

 

(20:00) Isak:

That you are so open and honest with your sexuality

 

(20:01) E:

Thanks, yeah I wouldn’t want to hide it

 

(20:02) E:

But everyone is different

 

(20:00) Isak:

Yeah

 

(20:02) Isak:

Did you like the party yesterday, did you have fun?

 

(20:02) Isak:

Sorry I didn’t ask earlier

 

(20:02) Isak:

I’m a mess today haha

 

(20:06) E:

I can imagine :D

 

(20:07) E:

It was okay, I wasn’t that into party after I broke up with Sonja

 

(20:08) E:

But I’m glad I was there

 

(20:09) Isak:

Yeah I can imagine, it was really strong of you to go there after what happened

 

(20:10) E:

Of course, we had a date?

 

(20:11) Isak:

Hahah a date…

 

(20:11) Isak:

A wired one and I fucked it up

 

(20:11) Isak:

I’m sorry

 

(20:13) E:

No problem I ;D

 

(20:14) Isak:

Don’t wink at me!

 

(20:15) E:

Why?

 

(20:16) Isak:

There is nothing to wink at!

 

(20:17) E:

There isn’t?

 

(20:18) Isak:

No? I told you that I run away and got wasted

 

(20:19) E:

Yeah, but you and that girl kissed?

 

(20:19) Isak:

PLEASE STOP

 

(20:21) E:

Why are you so frustrated about kissing?

 

(20:23) Isak:

I’m not frustrated about kissing, I’m frustrated about kissing her!

 

(20:25) E:

Don’t be rude, the poor thing is probably crying at home

 

(20:25) Isak:

Oh god, please stop!

 

(20:26) Isak:

And I’m not rude, I feel guilty

 

(20:27) E:

It was just a hook up, right?

 

(20:29) Isak:

Yes…

 

(20:30) Isak:

It just... I don’t want to be like this anymore

 

(20:31) Isak:

It’s fucking exhausting

 

(20:33) E:

What do you mean?

 

(20:35) Isak:

Idk

 

(20:36) Isak:

Let’s write about something else…

 

(20:37) Isak:

I have a fun part about last night to tell you

 

(20:38) E:

Ohhh?

 

(20:40) Isak:

My roommate found me this morning passed out in front of my room

 

(20:41) Isak:

And I was hugging one of my shoes

 

(20:43) E:

Hahahha

 

(20:43) E:

What the hell I?

 

(20:43) E:

A fucking shoe?

 

(20:44) Isak:

Yeah I was fucking drunk

 

(20:45) E:

Are there any pictures?

 

(20:45) Isak:

I don’t know!???

 

(20:46) Isak:

Fuck

 

(20:47) E:

I need to see it if there is one!

 

(20:48) E:

Curled up like a baby….

 

(20:48) E:

Mouth slightly open…

 

(20:49) E:

Drool running down the chin, seeping on the floor…

 

(20:50) E:

Snoring like a bear…

 

(20:55) E:

I?

 

(20:58) Isak:

Fuck Eskild won’t tell me if there are any pictures

 

(20:59) Isak:

And what the fuck is wrong with you?!

 

(20:59) Isak:

I don’t snore

 

(21:02) E:

I’ll find out someday

 

(21:02) Isak:

What??

 

(21:03) E:

If you snore?

 

(21:05) Isak:

!?

 

(21:06) E:

Haha

 

(21:06) E:

If there are any pictures

 

(21:08) Isak:

As long it isn’t the way how you find out how I look like

 

(21:09) E:

Great idea!

 

(21:09) Isak:

NO?!

 

(21:10) Isak:

We have a plan remember?

 

(21:10) E:

Okay okay

 

(21:11) E:

But it would be hilarious!

 

(21:13) Isak:

It definitely wouldn’t!

 

(21:15) E:

You don’t need to worry, I still would think you’re hot

 

(21:16) Isak:

E?!

 

(21:16) E:

Yes I?

 

(21:17) Isak:

Why are you like this?

 

(21:19) E:

Like what?

 

(21:20) Isak:

Why do you write these things?

 

(21:22) E:

Because I love to tease you remember?

 

(21:23) Isak:

Fy

 

(21:23) Isak:

Should I believe this?

 

(21:25) E:

No

 

(21:26) E:

I have to go and do some stuff for school

 

(21:27) E:

I’ll write you later? :)

 

(21:28) Isak:

That's chill

  


  



	5. Are you nervous?

**Saturday, 15.10.**

 

 

 

(22:03) E:

Hi

 

(22:06) Isak:

Hi

 

(22:07) E:

How are you?

 

(22:08) Isak:

Better, my headache is gone

 

(22:09) Isak:

What about you?

 

(22:10) E:

Good I think

 

(22:11) Isak:

Good to hear :)

 

(22:11) E:

Yeah :)

 

(22:12) Isak:

Soooo tell me something about you

 

(22:12) E:

And what?

 

(22:13) Isak:

Whatever you like

 

(22:13) Isak:

I mean there aren’t a lot of things I know about you

 

(22:14) E:

Ask me something ;)

 

(22:15) Isak:

Hm. Hobby’s?

 

(22:15) E:

Wooow

 

(22:16) Isak:

Hey you asked me something like that too!

 

(22:17) E:

Right

 

(22:18) E:

I love film but you know this already

 

(22:19) E:

I draw and love hiking

 

(22:20) E:

Music – I play the guitar

 

(22:20) Isak:

Hiking?

 

(22:21) E:

Yes, I love being “lost” in the nature

 

(22:22) E:

Especially the view after you climbed a mountain

 

(22:22) E:

It’s so fucking breathtaking, inspiring

 

(22:23) E:

I don’t know I just love it

 

(22:24) Isak:

Yeah, these views are great

 

(22:26) E:

We can go on a hike together someday :)

 

(22:27) Isak:

We could :)

 

(22:27) Isak:

You draw?

 

(22:27) E:

Yes

 

(22:28) Isak:

Like draw draw?

 

(22:28) E:

Haha yes I think so

 

(22:29) Isak:

Oh wow, show me something!

 

(22:30) E:

Maybe someday ;)

 

(22:30) Isak:

Och

 

(22:31) Isak:

But I’m impressed E! I didn’t expect that but I should have known

 

(22:32) E:

Known what?

 

(22:33) Isak:

That you would surprise me

 

(22:34) E:

You are surprised?

 

(22:35) Isak:

I am, in the good way :)

 

(22:36) Isak:

And I’m fucking curious now

 

(22:36) Isak:

Can’t wait to meet you…

 

(22:37) Isak:

What do you draw?

 

(22:40) E:

Yeah can’t wait too …

 

(22:41) E:

Mostly cartoons

 

(22:42) E:

But I also do some pencil drawing                                          

 

(22:42) Isak:

Oh wow

 

(22:43) Isak:

I’m so freaking bad at it

 

(22:45) E:

It’s just the practice

 

(22:45) Isak:

And talent

 

(22:46) E:

You don’t know how I draw

 

(22:47) Isak:

But I know it’s great :)

  


(22:47) E:

Like I know that you're hot?

  


(22:47) Isak:

fuck off haha

  


(22:48) E:

:D

  


(22:48) E:

You’re cute I :)

 

(22:48) Isak:

Thanks I know

 

(22:50) E:

Tell me the color of your hair

 

(22:50) Isak:

No!

 

(22:51) E:

Come on! Pleeease

 

(22:53) Isak:

No E, you have to wait until Wednesday

 

(22:53) E:

:(

 

(22:54) E:

How tall are you?

 

(22:54) I:

Stop it!

 

(22:55) E:

Please please please

 

(22:56) E:

Color of your eyes?

 

(22:57) I:

E!!

 

(22:57) E:

You’re mean

 

(22:58) E:

I’m so fuckin curious

 

(22:59) Isak:

You will know it soon

 

(23:00) E:

Are you nervous?

 

(23:00) Isak:

Nervous?

 

(23:02) E:

To meet me

 

(23:04) Isak:

I don’t know

 

(23:07) E:

I’m nervous…

 

(23:09) E:

You should know…

However you look like, it doesn’t change anything!

 

(23:11) Isak:

Okay

 

(23:11) Isak:

For me too you know

 

(23:12) E:

PLEASE tell me something!

 

(23:13) E:

Tell me about a birthmark of yours PLEASE

 

(23:14) E:

I need something, anything

 

(23:14) Isak:

Wtf

 

(23:15) Isak:

You’re annoying you know that?

 

(23:16) E:

Yes, I’m sorry

 

(23:18) Isak:

I have one above my upper lip on the left side

 

(23:18) Isak:

Happy?

 

(23:19) E:

Very :)

 

(23:22) E:

My image of you in my head:

Hot, muscular body

A big “I” as your head with a hot birthmark above the height of your lips

Lying on the floor, hugging a shoe

 

(23:23) Isak:

Hahahah fuck you E

 

(23:23) E:

What? It’s you

 

(23:24) Isak:

No! My head doesn’t have an “I” shape!

 

(23:25) E:

Are you sure?

 

(23:26) Isak:

Are you kidding me?

 

(23:26) E:

Of course <3

 

(23:27) Isak:

Fy

 

(23:28) E:

Are you at home?

 

(23:28) Isak:

Yes, why?

 

(23:29) E:

It’s Saturday night?

 

(23:30) Isak:

I know but yesterday was too much, I rather stayed at home

 

(23:31) Isak:

What about you??

 

(23:32) E:

I stayed at home as well, I thought I keep you and your hungover company

 

(23:33) Isak:

Fy I’m not hungover anymore

 

(23:33) E:

Mhm ;)

 

(23:34) E:

Have you seen “Twin Peaks”?

 

(23:34) Isak:

No

 

(23:35) E:

Of course not, what a question

 

(23:35) Isak:

HEY!

 

(23:36) E:

You HAVE to watch it, it’s an American serie from the 90s.

 

(23:37) E:

With Kyle MacLachlan, it’s fucking amazing

 

(23:37) Isak:

I like Kyle M.

 

(23:38) E:

He is brilliant

 

(23:39) Isak:

We can watch it together someday

 

(23:39) E:

We have to I! ;)

 

(23:40) Isak:

Fuck

 

(23:40) Isak:

Eskild came home

 

(23:40) E:

Okay?

 

(23:41) Isak:

He is not alone

 

(23:42) E:

That means party for you?

 

(23:44) Isak:

No?! E, that means a long sleepless night bc they’re going to fuck the whole night

 

(23:45) E:

Oh hahaha

 

(23:45) Isak:

It’s not funny, believe me

 

(23:46) Isak:

Eskild is loud and don’t get tired before dawn

 

(23:47) E:

You don’t have a headset?

 

(23:48) Isak:

I have but I don’t want to sleep with it?!

 

(23:49) E:

No, but we could watch some films together until dawn :)

 

(23:49) Isak:

Together?

 

(23:51) E:

Yeah we both start a film at the same time

 

(23:52) Isak:

Hm okay

 

(23:53) E:

Cool, the first one we will watch is a classic from Hitchcock

 

(23:54) Isak:

Huh? Who said you will decide what we watch?

 

(23:57) E:

Me. I said I’m going to teach you about good films. That means you have to watch them first you know ;)

 

(23:59) Isak:

Really?! I haven't thought you have to watch a movie, I thought you can read it... Hm...

 

(00:00) E:

Shut up Sexy and search for the film “Vertigo”

 

(00:01) Isak:

Sexy?! Sexy??

 

(00:01) Isak:

Really?!

 

.

.

.

 

(02:25) Isak:

Fuck I loved it!

 

(02:26) E:

I know

 

(02:27) E:

Next one, “Rear window”

 

(02:28) Isak:

You decide again?

 

(02:29) E:

Yes

.

.

.

 

(03:28) Isak:

Fuck that’s eerie

 

(03:29) E:

Are you afraid? 

 

(03:29) Isak:

No?!

 

 

(03:35) Isak:

But I’m glad Eskild is at home…

.

.

.

(04:30) E:

Are you awake?

 

(04:31) Isak:

Yes

 

(04:31) E:

Afraid?

 

(04:32) Isak:

Not anymore 

 

(04:33) E:

I’m sorry, but I had to show you Hitchcock classics

 

(04:34) E:

The next one you have to watch is “Psycho” if you don’t already know it

 

(04:36) Isak:

This one we have to watch together, I heard it's scary as fuck

 

(04:36) E:

Like together together?

 

(04:37) Isak:

Yes

 

(04:37) E:

Okay :) We can do that

 

(04:39) Isak:

But I really need to sleep now. 

Thanks that you showed me these movies E!

 

(04:40) E:

Okay, you’re welcome! I’m happy you liked it!

 

(04:41) Isak:

Good night E

 

(04:42) E:

Sweet dreams <3

 

(04:43) E:

 I hope you don’t have nightmares!

 

  



	6. Hey you

**Sunday, 16.10.**

(06:03) E:  
_“And I'm alone, and I realize that when I get home_  
_I wanna go through my red and my cherry_  
_Yes I'm alone, and I realize when I get home_  
_I wanna go through my red and my cherry”_

(06:18) E:

 _“Yeah, yeah, let's pour some cherry wine_  
_Everything's good, everything's fine_  
_Yeah, yeah we bring it every time_  
_Yeah, pour a little cherry wine_  
_Yeah, ayo Salaam, yeah, I think they know the time_  
_Everything's good, everything's fine_  
_Yeah, pour a little cherry wine, yeah”_

 

(06:37) E:

 _“Life is good, life is good, yeah_  
_Life is good, no matter what_  
_Life is good, life is good_  
_Life is good, yeah_  
_Life is good_  
_No matter what_  
_Life is good”_

 

 

(12:33) Isak:

Do you ever sleep E?

 

 

 

(17:45) E:

_“I never sleep, ‘cause sleep it the cousin of death”_

 

 

 

(19:01) Isak:

How are you?

 

(19:03) Isak:

Sorry, I don’t have time to write today

 

(19:04) Isak:

We have Fifa Night with the boys

 

 

 

(22:02) E:

Fine, always fine

 

(22:04) E:

Have fun I <3

 

 

 

**Monday, 17.10.**

 

 

(13:11) Isak:

Hey you

 

(13:11) Isak:

I talked with a friend about this whole experiment thing

 

(13:12) Isak:

And he told me that he heard that some of the participant “couples” already met

 

(13:13) Isak:

Or they stopped replying after two days bc they didn’t get along with each other

 

(13:13) Isak:

I think we are fucking great

 

 

 

 

(17:01) E:

We are <3

 

(17:03) Isak:

What’s up?

 

 

 

 

(20:21) E:

Sorry, I don’t have time now

 

(20:21) Isak:

Okay

 

 

 

 

(22:22) Isak:

Sweet dreams E :)

 

 

 

**Tuesday, 18.10.**

 

 

(19:02) Isak:

Hey, are you alright?

 

 

 

(22:02) Isak:

Can I do something?

 

 

 

**Wednesday, 19.10.**

 

 

(00:02) Isak:

Hey E, please write back when you saw this I’m worried

 

 

 

 

(02:02) Isak:

Have I done something wrong?

 

 

 

 

(05:10) E:

No, it’s me

 

(05:12) E:

It’s always me

 

 

 

 

(07:05) Isak:

Hey you, what do you mean?

 

(07:07) Isak:

Do you need anything?

 

 

 

 

(13:33) Isak:

What happened E?

 

 

 

 

(15:55) Isak:

We should have met today…

 

 

 

 

(16:40) Isak:

Please answer

 

 

 

 

(20:55) Isak:

Please

 

(20:56) Isak:

…

 

 

 

 

(23:23) E:

I’m sorry

 

(23:24) E:

I need time

 

(23:25) E:

You don’t need to be worried

 

 

 

 

(23:55) Isak:

Okay. I’m here if you need me.

 

(23:56) Isak:

Always

 

 

**Thursday, 20.10.**

 

(21:21) Isak:

I miss our conversations…

 

(21:21) Isak:

I hope you are alright.

 

(21:21) Isak:

I’m here for you :)

 

 

 

**Friday, 21.10.**

(00:30) E:

Why are you so nice to me?

 

(00:33) Isak:

Because I care about you

 

 

 

 

(03:33) E:

Why

 

 

 

 

(08:05) Isak:

Because I like you E

 

 

 

 

(18:18) Isak:

 _“Where is he?_  
_The man who was just like me_  
_I heard he was hiding somewhere I can't see_  
_Where is he?”_

(18:19) Isak:

I miss you

 

 

 

 

(20:22) Isak:

I don’t even know your name or how you look like

 

(20:23) Isak:

But fuck, I miss you E

 

(20:24) Isak:

 Am I crazy?

 

 

 

**Saturday, 22.10.**

 

 

(04:06) E:

No you aren’t crazy

 

(04:07) E:

~~I’m the crazy one~~

 

 

*****

He deleted the last sentence and throw his phone on the floor. _Why was he like this?_ Why couldn’t he be normal and live a normal life like everybody else? And why did everything inside him hurt so fucking much? _When does it stop?_ The stifling feeling in his chest. And the permanent tears in his eyes. His head felt like it was going to burst and dark thoughts sneaked around in his mind. _When?_

It was dark in his room and he lied on the bed. His body hurts, everything hurts. He pulled his blanket over his head. _Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide_. He wanted scream, scream until he felt a part. Until the world disappeared, until he disappeared.

And then there was this boy. This beautiful, _beautiful_ boy. A tear escaped in the corner of his eye, he could hear her drop on the pillow under him. _When does this fucking pain stop?!_

*****


	7. You don't bother me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it took me so long to post a new chapter! I hope you like it.  
> Thanks for reading <3

 

 

**Saturday, 22.10.**

 

 

(11:11) Isak:

Hi

 

 

 

(15:19) E:

Hi

 

 

 

(15:24) Isak:

How are you?

 

(15:40) Isak:

Sorry, if I’m bothering you

I’ll stop if you want me to

 

 

 

 

(19:04) E:

You don’t bother me

 

 

 

(19:14) Isak:

Okay

 

 

 

**Sunday, 23.10.**

 

 

(23:10) Isak:

Sweet dreams E

 

 

 

**Monday, 24.10.**

 

 

(18:44) Isak:

I know you said you need time.

But there wasn’t a day I didn’t text you since we started this

So… I’ll hope you’re alright :)

 

 

(21:55) Isak:

I just watched “Vertigo” again

 

(21:56) Isak:

Have you ever been in San Francisco?

 

 

 

**Tuesday, 25.10.**

(06:30) E:

You’re cute I

 

 

(07:43) Isak:

:)

 

 

 

(12:11) Isak:

Do you like Kabab?

 

 

(15:34) E:

Yes, why?

 

 

(17:00) Isak:

We should grab one sometime

 

 

(19:24) Isak:

I mean if you still want to meet me of course…

 

 

(21:21) E:

I’d love to :)

 

(21:22) Isak:

Okay :)

 

 

(23:01) Isak:

Sweet dreams E

 

 

(00:10) E:

Sweet dreams I

 

 

**Wednesday, 26.10.**

(15:15) E:

Hey… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for everything.

I know we had plans and we wanted to meet last Wednesday.

I fucked up, I’m sorry!

 

(15:20) Isak:

There is nothing you need to be sorry about.

We can fix a new date :) how are you?

 

(15:33) E:

Okay :)

I’m better thanks, what about you?

 

(15:36) Isak:

I’m fine, thanks

 

 

 

(16:10) E:

Do you have time tomorrow?

 

(16:11) Isak:

After school yes, why?

 

(16:12) E:

Do you want to meet me tomorrow?

 

(16:12) Isak:

Of course!

 

(16:12) E:

Okay cool :)

 

(16:13) E:

But I have school until 15:15

 

(16:14) Isak:

Me too! Should we meet in the school yard?

 

(16:15) E:

Sounds good :)

 

(16:16) Isak:

Easy

 

(16:17) Isak:

Fuck, finally I get to know your noble name ;)

 

(16:18) E:

It’s the best ;)

 

(16:17) E:

Are you nervous?

 

(16:19) Isak:

Yes

 

(16:19) Isak:

But I can’t wait :)

 

(16:20) E:

Me too

 

(16:21) E:

Do you think we should fulfill our plan? Just a week later…

 

(16:21) E:

I mean talk about our looks, age, …?

 

(16:22) Isak:

We can do that

 

(16:23) E:

Okay. Let’s start with the age

 

(16:23) E:

How old are you?

 

(16:24) Isak:

Take a guess

 

(16:24) E:

Come on!

 

(16:25) Isak:

It’s more special this way you know ;)

 

(16:25) E:

Oh you learned so much

 

(16:25) Isak:

Huh?

 

(16:26) E:

Are you ‘98?

 

(16:26) Isak:

No

 

(16:27) E:

What?! Are you sure?

 

(16:27) Isak:

Hahaha yes E, I’m sure

 

(16:28) Isak:

You’re ‘98 right?

 

(16:28) E:

No

 

(16:29) Isak:

Huh, are you kidding?

 

(16:29) E:

No? This is a serious conversation here, of course I’m not kidding

 

(16:30) E:

So you’re ‘99?

 

(16:30) Isak:

I am

 

(16:31) Isak:

Are you ‘99 as well??

 

(16:31) E:

No

 

(16:31) Isak:

Wtf

 

(16:32) E:

I’m ‘97

 

(16:32) Isak:

Oh

 

(16:32) E:

What?

 

(16:33) Isak:

You’re old

 

(16:33) E:

I’m not old!!

 

(16:34) Isak:

But you are ‘97

 

(16:34) E:

Yes?

 

(16:35) Isak:

That’s old

 

(16:35) Isak:

So you’re a third year?

 

(16:36) E:

Yes. And you are in the first or second year?

 

(16:36) Isak:

That’s the question…

 

(16:37) E:

Second

 

(16:38) Isak:

Yes

 

(16:39) E:

Ha!

 

(16:39) E:

You’re so young :D

 

(16:40) Isak:

Yeah, young and sexy ;)

 

(16:40) E:

I hope so ;)

 

(16:41) Isak:

You already said that I’m hot. You can’t take it back

 

(16:41) E:

I know. And I won’t.                         

 

(16:43) Isak:

So… I wrote all the time with a 3rd year

 

(16:43) E:

Do you feel cool now?                                             

 

(16:43) Isak:

Of course?!

 

(16:44) E:

Haha. :)

 

(16:46) Isak:

Should we text about our looks?

 

(16:46) E:

But just one detail!

 

(16:47) Isak:

What do you mean?

 

(16:47) E:

Sent me a picture of your hand or foot?

 

(16:47) E:

Or your eyes <3

 

(16:48) Isak:

Huh? Wtf?!

 

(16:48) Isak:

1\. Why would I do that??! Foot?!

2\. You can’t text me a heart when you don’t know how my eyes look like!

 

(16:49) E:

Could be fun?

 

(16:49) E:

That heart is also for you and not just your eyes

 

(16:51) Isak:

Oh

 

(16:51) E:

Mhm

 

(16:54) Isak:

Okay, I’ll tell you my eye color

 

(16:54) Isak:

But it’s the last detail I’m going to tell you before we meet

 

(16:54) E:

Deal

 

(16:55) Isak:

Green

 

(16:58) E:

I knew you are special

 

(16:58) Isak:

Did you?

 

(16:58) E:

Yes

 

(16:59) E:

And there are rarely people with green eyes

 

(16:59) Isak:

What’s your eye color?

 

(17:00) E:

Blue like the sea

 

(17:01) Isak:

Haha. You’re so dramatic

 

(17:01) E:

But you like it ;)

 

(17:02) Isak:

Maybe

 

(17:02) Isak:

How do you feel now you know these things about me?

 

(17:03) E:

It doesn’t change anything I

 

(17:03) E:

Please don’t be worried!

 

(17:03) E:

What about you??

 

(17:04) Isak:

Okay cool :)

 

(17:04) Isak:

It doesn’t change anything

 

(17:05) Isak:

Although the fact that I was writing with a 3rd year all the time is kind of hot

 

(17:05) E:

Hahaha did you write hot?!

 

(17:05) E:

So you think I’m hot too?

 

(17:07) Isak:

Are you seriously asking me this E?

 

(17:07) Isak:

I mean, I have no clue how you look like

 

(17:08) Isak:

But okay, maybe I can say that your character is hot

 

(17:08) E:

<3

 

(17:10) Isak:

I’ll see tomorrow ;)

 

(17:10) E:

Can’t wait

 

(17:11) Isak:

I have to go

 

(17:11) Isak:

Should we write later? :)

 

(17:12) E:

Yeah :)

 

(17:12) Isak:

:)

 

 

 

(21:12) Isak:

Hey you

 

(21:14) E:

Hi :)

 

(21:14) Isak:

How are you?

 

(21:14) E:

I’m good, you?

 

(21:15) Isak:

Tired

 

(21:15) E:

You have to go to bed early

 

(21:15) E:

Bc this time you definitely need your beauty sleep I ;)

 

(21:16) Isak:

Oi! Thank you….

 

(21:16) Isak:

Go on and you won’t see me tomorrow!

 

(21:16) E:

Oh I will ;)

 

(21:17) Isak:

Okay yes you will

 

(21:17) Isak:

But still, be nice

 

(21:17) E:

:D

 

(21:19) E:

What should we do tomorrow?

 

(21:20) Isak:

I think we have some things to talk about first?

 

(21:20) E:

Yeah. We can go and grab a coffee

 

(21:20) E:

And later Kebab?

 

(21:21) Isak:

We can do that

 

(21:21) E:

Cool :)

 

(21:22) E:

Want to watch a movie with me?

 

(21:22) E:

I mean now

 

(21:23) Isak:

“With me” haha

 

(21:23) Isak:

Yeah, why not

 

(21:23) Isak:

So what movie do you want to show me today? :)

 

(21:24) E:

<3

 

(21:24) E:

What about Pride & Prejudice?

 

(21:25) Isak:

You’re unbelievable!

 

(21:25) E:

Kidding

 

(21:25) E:

Although it’s great

 

(21:26) E:

But we will watch Moulin Rouge today

 

.

.

.

 

(23:44) Isak:

:D

 

(23:44) Isak:

It’s extra, but I liked it somehow

 

(23:45) E:

I’m happy you liked it I :)

 

(23:46) Isak:

But I really need my beauty sleep now ;)

 

(23:46) Isak:

So… see you tomorrow?

 

(23:46) E:

See you tomorrow ;)

 

(23:47) E:

Looking forward to it <3

 

(23:47) Isak:

Me too E <3

 

(23:47) Isak:

Sweet dreams

 

(23:48) E:

Sweet dreams

 

 


	8. It's time to shine

 

**Thursday, 27.10.**

 

(09:05) Isak:

Omg

 

(09:05) Isak:

We are really going to meet today!!!

 

(09:15) E:

Stop texting me in class! You have to focus!

 

(09:15) E:

And fuck yes!

 

(09:15) E:

Finally :)

 

(09:18) Isak:

Shut up :)

 

(09:22) E:

Are you still in I??

 

(09:23) E:

I mean, it’s okay when you don’t want to meet

 

(09:23) E:

Please don’t feel obliged to meet me…

 

(09:26) Isak:

Of course I’m in!!

 

(09:28) Isak:

Can’t wait to see your sea blue eyes ;)

 

(09:30) E:

Haha <3

 

 

 

(10:10) Isak:

Do you still want to meet me???

 

(10:16) E:

Of course, there is nothing I want more

 

(10:16) Isak:

Okay

 

 

 

(13:15) Isak:

Still in??

 

(13:20) E:

Looking forward to it I! :)

 

 

 

 

(14:30) E:

One hour left ;)

 

(14:33) Isak:

Fuck

 

(14:34) E:

??

 

(14:37) Isak:

This hour won’t pass...

 

(14:38) Isak:

Can’t wait!

 

(14:39) E:

I wear a denim jacket

 

(14:39) E:

See you later in the school yard <3

 

 

 

*****

 

Isak stormed out of class as soon as the bell rang. His mind was blank and his body was moving without control. He literally ran down the hall to his locker. _Okay Isak, slow down! Relax. Everything is going to be great. Everything is going to be fine. Breathe!_

In the time he reached the locker his mind was full of thoughts. What if E would see him and run off? Or worse what if E wasn’t going to come? What if everything was just a bad joke? Was it just a bad joke? After everything what happened?

Isak tried to push these thoughts out of his mind.

He pulled his books into his locker and slammed it shut. Then he turned on his heel and hurried to the toilet. _You need to calm the fuck down Isak! Like now!_

He just knew E over texting, he had no clue how he looked like and how his voice sounded. Maybe he had a high squeaky voice? So why was he so fucking nervous? Okay, some cold water in the face wouldn’t harm him. He really needed it right now. To get his thoughts settled. Hopefully.

Isak was freaking out since he got to school this morning. And around lunch, when he sat with his boys in the cafeteria and tried to listen to Madhi’s weekend plans, the thought of cancel the meeting with E had been really tempting.

But he couldn’t cancel it, he was too curious and he needed to do this. It felt right. Yeah, this thing with E, whatever it was felt right since the first day. The conversations were so fucking easy and Isak wouldn’t risk losing this. No.

He splashed cold water into his face and tried to smooth down his curls with his hand.

When he got up this morning he decided not to wear a snapback. He styled his hair and was almost late for his first class. Fuck off he thought back than, this was definitely more important.

He stared into the mirror and took some deep breaths. _Just be relaxed and cool, Isak! Easy._

His heart pounded hard in his chest, it wasn’t a rarity in the last couple of weeks. It was crazy, how could he have this kind of feelings for someone he has never met? For someone who he didn’t know how he looks like? For someone he didn’t even know by name?

There was just one explanation for all of this mess in his head and the warmth in his chest. Was it possible? But he didn’t dare to think further about this. _YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!_

And then there was this thing that E was a guy. Isak felt this for a guy. He wasn’t surprised, no. He knew deep inside for a long time that he might be gay, or that he is gay. But it was his little secret, for years. And now he saw the time coming where he couldn’t hide it anymore. Not because of E, he was just so fucking tired of hiding and pretending. Isak couldn’t bear it anymore. And this scared him. What were all the people going to say? What was his mother going to say? _Fuck._

Some guys stumbled into the man’s bathroom, so he quickly dried his hands with some tissues, took a last deep breath before he started for the door. _Isak, you can do it. It’s time to shine!_ And so he walked out into the school yard, still nervous but he hold his shoulders upright.

The question was how long could he stay calm?

 

 


	9. Are you here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger yesterday! But thank you for your patience. <3  
> And also a big thanks for the kudos and comments!  
> You guys are the best! x
> 
> So that's it, they finally meet. Here is the first part of the meeting. :)

   


**Thursday, 27.10.**

**15:20**

                                                  

The school yard was crowded, people everywhere. How the fuck should he find E? He texted, he is wearing a denim jacket. _Okay. A denim jacket. Isak, breathe!_ He propped himself on a bench and let his eyes wander over the crowd of students. But unfortunately he could make out more than one person with a denim jacket. _What the fuck E?!_

He decided to wait until the crowd of people disappeared from the yard. So he had the opportunity to monitor the yard and get used to the situation here.

That was it. The school day was over and he was going to meet E in any minute. _Fuck._

Isak tried to sit relaxed and cool on the bench, but he knew he failed with his coolness since he walked into school this morning. And N.W.A. wasn’t helping him a bit today.

Eva passed by and waved with a big smile into his direction and Isak waved with a bigger one back. He missed her, he definitely had to ask her for a coffee date soon. Sana and Vilde were with her and Isak could hear them laughing hysterically about something. He watched them disappear and looked back to the students on the yard.

His eyes travelled further over the people which were moving quickly out of school. And then his eyes stopped on him.

The guy. The very tall guy. With his ridiculous Elvis hair and his full, red lips. It seemed like the guy was hovering over the school yard. One hand clenched around one strap of his bag and the other shoved relaxed into his pocket. _Fuck me._

Isak couldn’t turn his eyes from the boy, as always. So he watched him cross the school yard and prop himself on a bench on the opposite side of the yard. This beautiful human being was probably waiting for some friends.

He stretched out his ridiculously long legs and opened his jacket.

_WAIT._

Isak froze on the spot and stared with the mouth slightly open.   _NO FUCKING WAY!_   The guy definitely wore a denim jacket. Could he be E? _Don’t be ridiculous!_

But Isak knew that this guy was a third year and that he had beautiful blue eyes. He had had the opportunity to meet these eyes in the man’s bathroom once. But no, no, no, no. No fucking way that he was E!

The guy pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed something. Isak was still staring when he felt his phone vibrating in his hand. _That’s a fucking joke!_

 

(15:24) E:

Are you here?

 

He stared disbelievingly on the display and back to the guy across the yard.

 

(15:24) Isak:

Yeah

 

The guy checked his phone and lifted his head. His eyes travelled over the students and then he met Isak’s. _Fuck._ A bright smirk spread over his lips, so that his beautiful eyes started to crinkle.

Isak couldn’t move, he just stared like an idiot. All the mess in his head, all the insecurity about this meeting. Everything was back. His hands were sweaty and his heart was pounding in his chest like crazy. How was this even possible?

He definitely hadn’t thought something like this was possible. Definitely not. With his mouth slightly open, Isak watched stunned how the guy got up and started his way towards him. He had the need to turn around and look if there was someone standing behind him. But he was frozen.

And then the guy was standing in front of him, beaming like the fucking sun. “Hi.” So much about the high and squeaky voice.

Isak stared and tried to clear his throat. “Uh, hi.”

The guy laughed and propped himself next to Isak on the bench. And Isak stopped breathing.                                                                                                                           

This was a fucking dream.

Isak had his gaze now focused on his shoes and tried very hard to calm down. They set there in silence until the guy raised his voice. “I thought so often about the first thing I was going to say to you when we finally meet. But sorry, I have like no clue right now, I.”

 _I._   _Did he just said I?!_ Okay, yes, he definitely did. He watched Isak with a smile on his face and Isak tried to fucking breath again.

“My name is Even.”

He stretched out a hand for Isak to shake and Isak slowly awoke from his stare. 

_Even…_

So he took his hand and pressed it gently. “Isak.”

The guy started laughing, “Fuck, this is great. The name suits you perfectly!”

Isak grinned and tried not to blush.

How should he behave around him? It was enough he was sitting next to E, or Even now. But then he was also THE GUY. The hot guy, the one at which he had stared every time he saw him in school. The one, which he had searched in the crowd of students, every time he went through the school halls. Unbelievable.

“Should we go and grab a coffee? I know this place not far away from here.” Even lifted his eyebrows in question and Isak took a deep breath.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They stood up and started walking over the yard. Isak was too focused on his pounding heart to hear someone behind him shouting his name. Even startled Isak with nudging his shoulder, “Isak, someone wants to talk to you.”

Isak stopped confused in his track and turned around.

_Emma._

Of fucking course, Emma was coming right now to talk to him. Of course, she was going to talk to him now, for the first time since the night they hooked up. Okay, she texted him a several times after, but he hadn’t replied. _Fuck it._

She was beaming at him as she reached them, out of breath, cheeks red and her short hair a little bit messy. She was pretty, but Isak wasn’t interested. Of course not. That was the point. How could he say that to her?

“Hi Isak, why didn’t you reply to my messages?”

 _Oh._ Isak frowned and tried to process an excuse but all he did was to stutter something unintelligible.

Emma shook her head and said, “Anyway, I’m hosting a party tomorrow, do you want to come?” She smiled and nodded in Even’s direction, which was patently standing next to Isak. “You can bring your friends of course.”

“Uh… I don’t know. Uh tomorrow you said?”

Isak looked help searching to Even who was smiling at him with a hint of a tease in his eyes.

_Bloody hell his eyes!_

“Yes tomorrow, there are going to be a lot of people from school. It will be fun.” She watched Isak expectably, who was trying to figure out an excuse why he couldn’t come when he heard Even say.

“We will be there!”

_What the hell?!_

Isak’s eyes widened in shock and he looked over to Even which was smirking at him.

Emma’s face broke into a wide grin. “Great! I’ll text you my address, Isak. I’m looking forward to it!” She nudged Isak’s arm, gave them a wave and disappeared over the yard.

Isak looked confused after her but turned then quickly around to face Even irritated.

 “What the fuck?”

Even smirked. “What?”

“Why Even, why?” Isak whined.

“I thought a party could be fun!” He answered innocently.

Isak stared at him in disbelieve.

“Yeah, but that was Emma! I can’t go to her party!”

Even frowned. “Emma?”

Isak’s cheeks went pink and he looked down at his shoes.

“Yes, Emma.”

“Ohhhh! Now I understand!” chuckled Even.

Isak rolled his eyes and Even clapped him lightly on the shoulder, still grinning like the cheshire cat. It felt like a fucking burn, but a nice one. Yes definitely nice. Isak could get used to his hands on him.

_What the fuck Isak?! Chill!_

“Isak, calm down, I’ll go with you if you are okay with it. Maybe you should just tell her that you aren’t interested.”

Even winked and started walking over the school yard towards the street. Isak quickly awakened out of his stare after Even said that and followed him.

Did he really say that he wanted to go to the party with Isak? Did he really say that? Okay, yeah why not. They are friends right? So that’s normal to go with a friend to a party. That’s what friends do. Friends…

 

_Right?_

_  
_


	10. Isak and Even

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, the second part of the first meeting.  
> I hope you like it! x

**Thursday, 27.10.**

**15:46**

The coffee shop was just two streets further from school. There weren’t a lot of people, so they found a comfortable place in the corner easily. Even ordered them coffee and Isak tried to settle his thoughts.

Even was sitting across the table face to face with him. He was looking at his phone, so Isak had the great opportunity to look at him properly. What a sight. _Haha Isak, chill!_

Even wore a cuddly, grey hoodie under his denim jacket and a white shirt. His hair was a little bit disheveled from outside, but still perfect. He was fucking beautiful, Isak just couldn’t believe what happened so far. The guy was Even, Even was THE GUY. He couldn’t get it into his head.

“Are you distracted by my sea blue eyes?”

Isak jerked and blinked at Even who was watching him with a big smirk in his face.

“Uhm…”

Even laughed and his eyes crinkled. “I hope you aren’t disappointed Isak.”

“Disappointed?” Isak looked at him with wide eyes.

“Yes, I mean about my visual nature and name.”

Isak smiled at that and felt a decent blush started to climb up his cheeks.

“No, no. But you could have told me that you are a fucking giant!”

Even started to laugh so hard that Isak couldn’t else than laugh with him. He was so fucking beautiful. _Oh my god Isak!_

“I could have, but there was the danger that you figure out who I am.” Even winked and took a sip from his coffee.

“True.” Isak answered, he realized that he was much more relaxed now. He couldn’t figure out why and how, with Even in front of him. But he felt good. Really good actually.

“ So, is it okay when I join you at the party tomorrow?” Even asked him casually but Isak could made out a light sparkle in his eyes.

“You have to!” Isak answered quickly. “Otherwise I’m not going.”

Even watched him surprised and Isak could see that he tried really hard to suppress a smile.

“Are you afraid to meet Emma without support?”

Even really was a fucking tease. And somehow it felt like Even enjoyed it to tease Isak the most. _What a honk._

“Yes, I mean no…” Isak said quickly.

“If there haven’t been you I wouldn’t have this problem!”

Even put his arm on the table and propped his head in his hand, he lifted his eyebrows and the tease was still in his eyes and Isak fucking hated (loved) it.

“If there haven’t been me, than she probably would have had eaten you alive. In front of school. Between all the people.”

Isak raised an eyebrow in shock and started laughing. “You’re a fucking tease Even!” He couldn’t believe this guy.

“I mean she is clearly desperate for you, Isak. And tomorrow is your great opportunity to make clear what you want from her.”

“I want nothing from her, except my peace!”

“Then tell her that tomorrow. “

“Yeah, yeah okay.”

Isak smiled at Even and they were quiet for a while. They sipped their coffee and watched each other secretly.

Isak hadn’t forgotten the last weeks, when he couldn’t reach Even. When he felt fucking alone without their conversations, he had been so afraid. The first days were the worst. When he had no clue what was going on. But Even hadn’t been rude or anything. And he had apologized a week later. Isak was relieved, but still worried.

“How are you?” Isak said quietly and looked him in the eyes. He tried to hide his worry, but Even’s face took over a serious when not a scared expression and Isak knew that he couldn’t hide it.

“I’m better Isak.” He said quietly and Isak could see that he felt uncomfortable. “I’m really sorry for disappointing and scaring you. But I’m fine now. I promise.”

Relieve floated through Isak, he trusted him. Maybe there was something he didn’t want to tell Isak but that was alright. As long he was okay now.

“You didn’t disappoint me Even. You have to believe me. I’m happy you’re alright now.”

Even smiled lightly and took a last sip of his coffee.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“So, I like your name more than Edward or Emil.” Isak grinned widely and watched Even’s face brighten up.

“You think so?” Even asked, grinning again. 

“I do. The name Even is the noblest of them all.”

“Now you just try to charm me.” Even said with his fucking tease in his eyes again. Oh stop. No tease. There wasn’t a tease in his voice or in his eyes. It was rather flirty. _Flirty Isak? What the hell do you think you are?_

“I’m just honest with you, Even.” Isak picked up his cup and tried to hide his blush behind her. God this human being was so fucking pretty.

Even broke into a wide smile. “Alright, I know you’re a bad liar and I have to admit that I haven’t recognized a lie in your words.”

“Bad liar? Bad liar? I’m the best in lying. A fucking champion.”

“Champion? So that means you weren’t honest with me?” Even tried to look heartstricken.

“I’ll always be honest with you.” Isak’s eyes widened, it came out more serious than he intended.

Even smiled softly and Isak thought he saw Even’s eyes flicker for a second down to Isak’s lips. But it was imagination, of course it was. _God Isak, stop sugar your coffee!_

“Alright Mr. Honest, let’s go and grab a Kebab, I’m starving!”

 

-

 

“Do you have plans what you’re going to do after you finished school?”

“Yes. I’m going to be a famous director and you’re going to play the star role in one of my films.”

“Huh??”

“I just can’t get the scene out of my mind. You. Lying on the floor. Hugging your shoe. It’s perfect. It’s cinema material!”

“Shut up!”

“… I think I’ll try to get into film school”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

 

-

 

“Even, what are you going to do with all the tissues??”

“I can’t control a Kebab, the Kebab controls me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Eating Kebab is like art, Isak. You don’t know what is going to happen.”

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“Thanks.”

 

-

 

“Have you hugged one of the shoes you’re wearing today?”

“Even!!”

 

-

 

“Do you need a tissue?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

-

 

“Do you think we are free, Isak?”

“In our minds, yes.”

“Hm. But we are alone in our minds. Do you think freedom is about being alone?”

 

-

 

“How are you?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, I haven’t asked earlier. How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“Good!”

 

-

 

“Bakka? I think Jonas knows some people from Bakka.”

“Who’s Jonas?”

“My best friend.”

“Is he going to Nissen as well?”

“Yes. Maybe you’ll meet him tomorrow at the party.”

“Okay, cool.”

 

-

 

E (17:58):

Isak

   


Isak (17:59):

Even

 

-

   


Isak had a great time with Even, they were laughing a lot and had good conversations. Even seemed to be very confident and Isak was feeling like a walking stove. The warmth was climbing through his body, his heart was pounding fast and his eyes were fixed only on Even. Even, Even, Even, Even, Even. Damn, he loved this name.

So after they had eaten Kebab and had talked for like an eternity in the park, they walked in the direction of the Tram station. It was dark and cold outside and they had school tomorrow.

Suddenly there came something to Isak’s mind and he had to ask. He had to.

“What about the cute guy? Have you finally spoken to him?”

Even smiled secretly as they walked down the road.

“Yes. Yes, I have.” He catched Isak’s eyes and Isak tried hard to hide his disappointment.

_What did you expect Isak? He is to fucking beautiful for you!_

For a second or something Isak believed that there could be something more than friendship between Even and him. He knew Even was Bisexual, Single and beautiful. But what would this kind of person want with him? _Funny_. 

“Aaaand?” Isak asked further, just to be sure.

“I’ll see. I’m not sure he likes me back.”

“How can someone not like you?”

Even gave him a bright smile and snuggled his shoulder.

“You’re cute Isak.”

Isak blushed, thanked god it was dark outside. “I know, thanks.”

They reached the Tram station and had to separate because Even had left his bike at school. Isak laughed brightly at that, he was really happy to come home warm.

“Please don’t fall from the bike Even. Otherwise you’re responsible for Emma’s anger when we don’t show up tomorrow.”

“We? When I fell from the bike??” Even grinned.

“Yes, Even. Because I have to stay with you then, watch shitty films and listen to your whining about the pain.” Isak looked at him smirking and patted his arm. _Fuck._ It was like an electric shock, but a good one.

“Can I hug you?” Even asked suddenly warmly.

_Wait, what?_

Isak couldn’t move because he thought that he hadn’t heard right but then he watched Even moving towards him and pulling him into a tight hug.  _Uhm, okay._ Isak jerked a bit at his touch but he quickly put his arms around Even and hugged him back.

“It was so good to finally meet you, thank you for your time.” Whispered Even into his ear.

Isak was overwhelmed, Even was so fucking perfect. The hug felt so good and he smelled so nice, Isak could have lost himself in it. _Isak, chill. Please!_ But he saw his Tram coming over Even’s shoulder so he quickly pulled away.

They stared at each other, Isak was sure Even had felt Isak’s heart hammer like crazy in his chest. _Fuck_. Isak cleared his throat. “Uhm…It was nice to meet you too.”

“I’ll write you later. Is that okay?” Even smiled and waved.

“Okay.” Said Isak as he moved to the Tram and waved back.

Isak entered the Tram and set down. His mind was blank. What was this? Finally they had met and Isak felt great. And Even wants to join him at Emma's party tomorrow. They will go together. He and Even. He and THE GUY.  Isak and Even. Even and Isak.

   


Was this a fucking dream?


	11. I know what you mean

**Thursday, 27.10.**

 

Even (21:12):

I’m home safe, which means you don’t have to watch shitty films with me tomorrow.

Although I would have loved it. I hope you aren’t disappointed. ;)

 

Isak (21:15):

No worry’s ;)

As long as you will come to Emma’s party with me

 

Even (21:15):

I promise, I’ll come with you

 

Isak (21:16):

Good. Because I really don’t know how I should survive the evening tomorrow

 

Even (21:16):

Bc of Emma?

 

Even (21:16):

You want me there just bc of Emma? That really hurts Isak. :(

 

Isak (21:16):

Yeah

 

Isak (21:16):

No!!! Not just because of Emma, silly!

 

Even (21:17):

I hope so

 

Even (21:17):

Tell her you aren’t interested

 

Isak (21:17):

But how can I tell her that?

 

Even (21:17):

Maybe bit apologetic and friendly

 

Even (21:18):

You can’t do more

 

Isak (21:18):

Yeah. I’ll try it.

 

Isak (21:19):

I had fun today

 

Even (21:19):

I’m glad :) I had fun as well

 

Isak (21:20):

I was really nervous before we met

 

Even (21:21):

I know, I could read it in all your messages over the day ;)

 

Isak (21:21):

Yeah, I was pretty nervous

 

Even (21:21):

I was nervous as well

 

Isak (21:22):

Really? You seemed so chill.

 

Even (21:22):

I’m always chill ;)

 

Isak (21:22):

Of course you are

 

Even (21:23):

I was afraid you would pee your jeans out of nervousness and dump me

 

Isak (21:23):

Haha shut up! :D

 

Even (21:24):

Everything is possible Isak ;)

 

Isak (21:24):

I’m not a baby

 

Isak (21:24):

It’s kind of weird that you call me Isak now

 

Isak (21:25):

Over text I mean

 

Even (21:25):

Yeah, it is, I know what you mean

 

Isak (21:26):

As if E and Even are two different persons

 

Isak (21:26):

But they aren’t at all, it’s just my eyes have only seen the texts and not the colors of you

 

Isak (21:27):

Cheesy haha

 

Isak (21:27):

You know what I mean?

 

Even (21:27):

Yes, Isak. Yes, I know. :)

 

Isak (21:28):

I can’t believe that you’re such a giant Even!

 

Isak (21:28):

I thought I’ll be taller than you or at least in the same height

 

Isak (21:29):

But no, a fucking giant!

 

Even (21:29):

Hahaha

 

Even (21:29):

It’s not my fault that you are a baby :)

 

Isak (21:30):

Baby??

 

Isak (21:30):

Baby???

 

Isak (21:30):

Tzz

 

Even (21:30):

It’s true ;)

 

Isak (21:31):

No, it’s not

 

Even (21:32):

It is, a ’99 baby <3

 

Isak (21:32):

Hahaha jealous? Bc you’re so old?

 

Even (21:33):

No. I’m old and wise ;)

 

Isak (21:34):

You think so? Do I have to listen to your worldly wisdoms now?

 

Even (21:36):

Of course! You have to listen what older ones teach you!

 

Isak (21:37):

Eskild tries to disabuse his wisdoms on me everyday

 

Isak (21:37):

I thought you would be different, Even :(

 

Even (21:38):

Your roommate, right?

 

Even (21:38):

Oh, don’t be sad Baby

 

Isak (21:38):

Yes, my wannabe father

 

Isak (21:39):

Maybe you’ll meet him someday

 

Isak (21:39):

Stop with that Baby shit! Or I unfriend you right now

 

Even (21:39):

I hope so :)

 

Even (21:40):

Ouch. Would you really do that? :O

 

Isak (21:41):

No, I wouldn’t :)

 

Even (21:42):

Good. Because this whole time effort to get to know you were wasted for nothing

 

Isak (21:44):

Time effort? Am I such a big time effort for you?

 

Even (21:44):

A good time effort, Isak :)

 

Isak (21:45):

I’ll hope so

 

Even (21:45):

I like spending time with you, don’t worry

 

Isak (21:46):

:)

 

Isak (21:46):

Good

 

Isak (21:46):

I’ll have to do some homework though

 

Even (21:47):

Now??

 

Isak (21:48):

Yes Even. I haven’t had the time today bc I spent my time on you

 

Even (21:48):

But you liked it

 

Even (21:48):

Nerd

 

Isak (21:49):

Yes I did

 

Isak (21:49):

Fy

 

 

 

Isak (22:36):

I’m exhausted

 

Isak (22:36):

From being social the whole day

 

Even (22:38):

Poor boy :D

 

Isak (22:38):

Yeah, it’s your fault

 

Even (22:39):

Then I hope I’ll hunt your dreams the whole night

 

Isak (22:41):

You’re evil

 

Even (22:42):

See you later in your dreams, I’ll catch you

 

Isak (22:42):

Haha shut up :D

 

Even (22:43):

Sorry :D

 

Even (22:43):

But seriously though

 

Even (22:44):

It was fucking nice to meet you today, Isak!

 

Even (22:44):

IIIISAK

 

Even (22:44):

Omg the name is perfect

 

Even (22:44):

I had fun, thanks again :)

 

Isak (22:46):

Yeah, it was fucking nice to meet you too, Even!

 

Isak (22:46):

Hahah

 

Isak (22:46):

Sure, thank you 2

 

Isak (22:47):

See you tomorrow :)

 

Isak (22:47):

Sweet dreams

 

Even (22:48):

Looking forward to it! :)

 

Even (22:48):

Sweet dreams, Isak!

 

Even (22:52):

Oh and it’s true

 

Even (22:52):

You are hot <3

 

 

Isak spat the water he was drinking over the floor. _What??!?!_

 


	12. Hottie

 

**Friday, 28.10.**

**08:21**

“Broo! How was the meeting??” Jonas asked Isak as he saw him coming to the lockers in school. Isak had told him about Even, of course he had, right from the beginning. His friend also went for this school experiment first but it turned out that he didn’t get along with the guy and they stopped texting after two days.

“It was good.” Isak smiled and opened his locker.

“And? Who is he?? Tell me!” Jonas closed his own locker and came to stand next to Isak. He looked at him curious, with his bushy eyebrows high up to his forehead in question.

“Uhm, his name is Even. I don’t think you know him.”

Jonas furrowed his brows in speculation. “No, I don’t think I know –“

“But what are you doing tonight? Emma is hosting a party, she said I can bring some friends.”

He really didn’t want to go to Emma’s party. So he figured the more people would come with him the better. They could find a place to smoke some weed until everyone at the party would be drunk. So Isak could hide from Emma and later she would maybe stop searching for his company.

“Emma? Isn’t it the chick you hooked up with some weeks ago?” grinned Jonas knowingly.

Isak tried very hard not to roll his eyes in annoyance. “Yeah, that’s Emma. Want to join me tonight? I’ll ask Madhi and Magnus as well.”

“Yeah, I’m in.” said Jonas and nudged his shoulder.  “Magnus already asked about a party tonight so he for sure will be in too.”

Isak grinned. “This horny, old fool. Okay cool, Even is going to join too, so you’ll get to know him then.”

“Okay, cool Bro, looking forward to it! And see you later!” said Jonas as the bell rang and hurried to his first class.

Isak pulled out his biology book, closed his locker and run down the hall to his first class. He felt his phone vibrating in his jeans pocket. When he got to his class and looked at his phone, he couldn’t else than smile brightly. _Even._ Even, who thought Isak was hot. Isak couldn’t believe it, he just couldn’t. That was definitely flirty, Even was flirting. With him.

 

Even (08:27):

Good Morning :)

Did I hunt your dreams?

 

Isak (08:29):

Morning :)

I don’t know, can’t remember

 

Even (08:29):

:(

How are you this morning?

 

Isak (08:29):

Even, it’s morning.

 

Even (08:30):

So?

 

Isak (08:30):

It’s eeearly in the morning, I’m still sleeping

 

Even (08:30):

Aren’t you in school?

 

Isak (08:31):

Of course I’m in school. But I haven’t thought about my well-being this early

 

Even (08:31):

Haha, you’re definitely not a morning person

 

Isak (08:32):

Nope

 

Even (08:32):

A pitty, mornings are beautiful

 

Isak (08:32):

Happy you like it

 

Even (08:33):

Thanks. Anyway, wanted to ask you if we still go to Emma’s tonight?

 

Isak (08:35):

Of course, why wouldn’t we?

 

Even (08:36):

I thought maybe you’ve had a nightmare about Emma or something ;)

 

Isak (08:40):

That’s possible, but I can’t remember

 

Isak (08:41):

We are going :) Jonas and some other friends will maybe join us too

 

Even (08:44):

Okay cool :)

 

Isak (08:47):

You can also bring some if you want

 

Even (08:48):

No, no. They don’t have time tonight. I’ll stick with you :)

 

Isak (08:48):

Alright :)

 

Even (08:50):

Okay, now focus Isak. I don’t want to distract you from your class

 

Even (08:50):

See you around ;)

 

Isak (08:52):

You are too kind

 

Isak (08:52):

See you :)

 

When Isak walked into school this morning he nearly had a panic attack. He had forgotten that he maybe would see Even in school. Now, that they know each other by look it most certainly could happen that they would meet by coincidence. And they would probably talk or something.

_He texted you’re hot Isak!_

Isak tried not to think too much about that, but it was difficult. It was Even who had said that. THE GUY. A boy. And not some random girl from school or something. _Breathe!_

Yeah, Isak was definitely nervous.

 

 

**13:10**

Isak was sitting with Jonas, Magnus and Madhi at their usual table in the cafeteria. Magnus and Madhi were more than excited to join them at the party tonight.

“Bro, there will be all the hot friends from Emma as well! I mean Emma is hot too. But she is yours, when you know what I mean.” Magnus winked at him with a mischievous grin in his face.

Isak was tired of this, he wasn’t into Emma. And he won’t be into Emma anytime soon. Anytime at all. But how could he tell his friends? ‘Oh yeah guys, by the way, I’m not into girls, I’m gay. And Even, my texting friend is hot as hell and is Bisexual. And I think he is flirting with me, so I think I’ll try to hook up with him tonight.’ Ehm no, he couldn’t tell them, at least not yet.

He sighed and tried another move. “Mags, I told you I’m not interested in her, she is just too much.”

“Too much? What the fuck Bro? She is hot!” Madhi looked at him in confusion.

Isak rolled his eyes in annoyance and turned for help to Jonas who was looking at him in the same confusion as Madhi. _Thank you, Jonas._

“She is, but she is fucking annoying, you can hook up with her if you want Mags. She is all yours.”

Magnus grinned wide as he heard this. “Oh my god, you aren’t kidding right? Okay, okay, thank you for your kindness, Isak. I’ll take her, I’ll take them all.” He looked dreamily to ceiling, probably thinking about an orgy with these girls but that would never ever happen. Isak loved Magnus and his crazy ideas and stories but he definitely needed to learn not to sound too desperate all the time.

Isak’s phone vibrated at the table and he took it to check his message.

 

Even (13:14):

I like your snapback

 

Isak smiled and darted his eyes over the students in cafeteria. But he couldn’t see Even anywhere, maybe he saw him when he passed by or something. Isak tried really hard to suppress his disappointment but he failed. At least he doesn’t have to deal with Even’s presence right now. Because he knew it always was a rollercoaster of feelings. _He thinks I’m hot!!_

“Why are you grinning? And what are you looking for?”

Isak snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Magnus who watched him in question.

“Was it Even?” Jonas asked next to Isak.

“Even? Who is Even?” Magnus looked curious now.

“Uhm, yes. It’s the guy I met yesterday, with whom I was texting the last few weeks. Remember?”

“Oh yeah! I almost forgot. How was it? Who is he? Is he here somewhere?” Excitement was written all over Magnus face, typical.

 

Isak (13:16):

Haha. Are you watching me, Even?

 

“Isak!”

Isak put his phone at the table and looked at Magnus, eyes rolling.

“No, he isn’t. But you’ll see him at Emma’s tonight. He is going to join us.”

Magnus smiled brightly and took a bite from his sandwich. “Awesome!”

Finally they turned to another topic to discuss. Something about a game they played yesterday and Isak finally had his peace. He took his phone as it vibrated again and tried really hard not to smile.

  

Even (13:17):

I do ;)

How was your day so far?

 

Isak:

It was okay, I got a 6 in a test so I’m satisfied.

 

Even:

Ooh, congrats ;)

 

Isak:

How was yours?

 

Even:

Really good, especially after I watched you throwing

some bread crumbs at one of your friends.

You’re a cruel person Isak Valtersen

 

Isak:

Haha, he deserved it.

And wait, why do you know my second name?

 

Even:

Who knows ;)

 

Isak:

You spied on me Even? Really?

 

Even:

I do now, yes

 

Isak turned around in his chair and looked again over the people in cafeteria. And then he saw Even. He was perched in a corner at small table, phone in his hand and a bright grin on his face as Isak caught his eyes.

_Damn._

Isak grinned broadly and stood up before he could think about what he was doing. _Of course you go and say hello Isak! What is wrong with you?! Get your shit together!_

“Uhm, I’ll be right back guys.” He said and before they had the opportunity to answer he already walked into Even’s direction.

Even looked stunning as always, his legs were sprawled out under the table and he wore a grey hoodie with a hood which he had pulled over his fluffy hair. Isak made his way to him and grinned hesitant. Heart pounding like crazy and his hands sweaty like his armpits after gym.

Even smiled as he approached and moved to make space for him.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Isak.” Even grinned brightly and Isak’s heart speeded up. He set down next to him and tried to calm down. Was it going to be the regular thing from now on when he was meeting Even. Probably yes.

“Do you want to join us at the table? Isak asked.

“Is this your gang?” Even smiled and nodded into the direction where Jonas, Madhi and Magnus were sitting.

“Yes, this is my squad.” Laughed Isak. “They’ll also come to Emma’s tonight.”

“Great! And no, thank you. The bell will ring soon, so there will be more time to introduce myself tonight.” Even started to put some pencils and something what looked like a sketchbook into his backpack.

Isak watched the sketchbook with curiosity. “Is this your sketchbook or something?”

Even’s eyes turned surprised to Isak and he smiled warmly. Isak could lose himself in this fucking smile. _Chill Isak! Chill…!_

“Yes, something like that.” Winked Even as he closed his beg.

“Really?! Please show me some drawings!” Isak bounced in excitement and Even started to laugh and his eyes crinkled and Isak was so fucking lost.

“Nah, next time maybe. I don’t dare to show you the drawings in there.” He patted his bag and winked again.

Isak tried to look disappointed and wanted to start begging to see his drawings but then the bell rang and Even stood up.

“I’ll see you tonight, can’t wait! Text you later, Isak.” He smiled wide and squeezed Isak’s shoulder. Fuck. No, no electrical jolt at all.

_Isak, you’re in danger. In danger to fucking lose yourself for this man._

Isak waved at Even and turned around to go and grab his stuff from the table. The boys were impatiently waiting for him and as soon as Isak approached Magnus was almost yelling.

“Was this Even? Was it him?”

Isak rolled his eyes. Again. “Yes, that was Even.”

“Wow, he is fucking hot.” Isak looked at him in surprise and turned to look at Jonas and Madhi which were nodding in agreement.

“What? It’s true. How are we supposed to get some girls tonight with him? He is a fucking Hottie.”

 

_Damn right, he fucking is!_

 

 


	13. Pictures of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even's POV - I hope you like it! x

 

**Friday, 28.10.**

 

Even (15:22):

We met for the first time 24 h ago :)

 

Isak (15:25):

It was nice :)

 

Even (15:27):

It was.

Excited for tonight?

 

Isak (15:28):

When you guys come along I am, yes

 

Isak (15:29):

Oh! I almost forgot. Is it possible you can buy us booze?

 

Isak (15:29):

Pleeeeease

 

Even (15:31):

Of course, no problem.

We can meet and buy some together before we go to the party

 

Isak (15:31):

Easy, thanks!

 

Isak (15:32):

My friends think you are hot

 

Isak (15:33):

One of them is afraid he won’t be able to hook up with a girl bc they will all go for you

 

Even (15:34):

Hahaha

 

Even (15:34):

And you don’t think I’m hot? ;)

By now you know how I look like

 

Even (15:35):

But tell them, they don’t have to be afraid.

I’m not interested in hooking up with some random girl tonight

 

Isak (15:35):

You aren’t?

 

Even (15:37):

I won’t answer your question before you haven’t answered mine Isak ;)

 

Isak (15:37):

Uhm. I’m not going to answer this question

 

Even (15:38):

Why not? Do you think I’m ugly?

 

Isak (15:38):

Jesus

 

Isak (15:38):

No you aren’t ugly, Even

 

Even (15:39):

:D

…

I’m not satisfied

 

Isak (15:39):

Fy

 

Even (15:40):

:O

 

Even (15:40):

I thought you’ll be honest with me?

 

Isak (15:41):

I’m honest with you.

But that doesn’t mean I have to answer that

 

Even (15:42):

Answer what? ;)

 

Isak (15:42):

Eveeeen! Stop it!

 

Even (15:42):

Don’t be shy ;)

 

Isak (15:43):

I don’t have to text you back

 

Even (15:43):

You wouldn’t do that!

 

Isak (15:44):

Watch me

 

Even (15:44):

:O

 

Isak (15:46):

Jesus! You are hot okay?!

Happy??

 

Even (15:46):

Very :D

 

Even (15:47):

I just wanted to start blackmailing you

Booze for an answer

 

Isak (15:48):

You’re unbelievable

 

Isak (15:48):

I don’t know why I’m texting you

 

Even (15:49):

Because you think I’m hot?

 

Isak (15:49):

Ugh shut up

 

Even (15:50):

And no, I’m not interested in hooking up with a girl ;)

 

Isak (15:51):

Okay…

 

Even (15:51):

Mhhhm :D

 

Even (15:51):

Anyway, I’m looking forward to meet your friends

 

Even (15:52):

See you later alright? :)

 

Isak (15:52):

Alright :)

 

**18:18**

Even was grinning almost for 27 hours straight now. Since he saw Isak sitting across the school yard yesterday, waiting for him and staring in disbelieve when he saw Even walking towards him.

Even was pretty sure that he smiled the whole night while sleeping. His cheeks were hurting from all the grinning but he couldn’t help it.

His mum was really glad to see him like this, she almost cried when she saw him smiling in the morning and grinning after he got back home from school.

“Oh Even! She had said and pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m happy you’re smiling. You don’t know how pretty you are when you smile. Is there a special occasion for that?”

_Yeah, a boy named Isak Valtersen._

“I’m going out with a friend from school tonight.”

“That’s nice, Even! Do you need something with you?” She had asked Even beaming.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks though.” Even had waved and went into his room. He completely understood her, the last week after the episode had been difficult for her and his Dad. And for Even of course. Actually it was the first night he was going out after the school’s party where Isak hooked up with Emma.

Emma.

Of course Even knew that Isak wasn’t interested in her. And he hoped and prayed he knew why. But he couldn’t hide the jealousy which came up when he thought about it or when Isak mentioned her name. And the reason was simple for that.

She had her fucking lips on him.

Even was sitting at the windows sill in his room a couple of hours now. With his sketchbook in his lap, pencil in the hand, he couldn’t stop drawing. It was like he tried to draw his feelings on paper. He kind o did because he wasn’t able to draw something else than Isak. Isak’s face, Isak’s hair, Isak’s eyes, Isak’s mouth, Isak’s hand’s, Isak smiling, Isak frowning, Isak lost in thoughts, Isak, Isak, Isak. Even could draw his features in his sleep by now. He really did.

He liked the drawings of Isak, they were really good. Even had to admit that, maybe because all the passion he had for Isak were mirrored in them. And the one he had drawn before Isak came to his table in the cafeteria today he liked the most.

It was Isak from the profile, with his snapback and his angel curls poking out under it, smiling at his phone as he read the message from Even. Or Even at least thought it was his message he had been reading, he had watched Isak since he had entered the cafeteria. And Isak took his phone from the table right after Even had sent the text.

Excitement started to creep up Even’s stomach when he thought that he was going to see Isak in a little bit more than an hour. Maybe he would risk a move tonight, but he had to check out first how comfortable Isak was. He wasn’t sure if Isak really was interested in him and when he was then secretly. After everything Isak told him, Even knew he wasn’t comfortable with himself. And that broke Even’s heart, because this boy deserved the fucking world.

After he checked his phone about the time, Even jumped up from the windows sill and hasted into the bathroom to take a shower. He had his outfit already planned which hopefully would blow Isak from his feet.

Today he took more effort in styling himself, of course. Everything for a blush on Isak’s beautiful face. Hopefully.

 

**19:33**

 

Isak (19:33):

Where are you?

 

Even (19:34):

I’m in the shop

 

Isak (19:34):

Oh, I thought we’ll meet outside.

 

Isak (19:34):

Coming!

 

Even smiled and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He was standing in the shop they said they will meet and tried to figure out which kind of beer Isak would like him to buy.

“Hi.” He heard Isak say from behind.

He turned around and his stomach was warming up at Isak’s sight. Isak wore his red snapback which was covered under a hood from his jacket. He looked so fucking cute that Even really had to force himself to stay where he was instead of kissing Isak right here, right now. _Stay patient Even! You won’t to fuck it up already!_

“Hey you.” Even beamed. “Did you really think I’m late?”

Fondly he watched as a light blush started to creep over Isak’s face. What an angel.

He couldn’t fight his feelings for Isak. Not anymore. Often he thought if the decision meeting Isak had been a mistake. He wanted to, he did. Badly. So he went for it. But he hadn’t forgotten the last week. He didn’t want to burden anyone with this, especially not Isak. Isak doesn’t deserve to deal with that and Even especially doesn’t deserve Isak. But Even was so lost for this boy. He knew himself and he knew that he was behind the point to fight his desire for Isak.

“Uhm, no.” Isak mumbled and looked down to his shoes.

_Chill, Even. Chill!_

“So is Tuborg okay or do you want something else?”

“No Tuborg is good. Uhm, thanks. I think it is better if I wait outside.” Isak looked up in question and Even nodded, grinning.

“Do that, little ’99 Baby.”

Isak raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Huh, are we doing this again?”

Even laughed and grabbed the six-packs. “Just kidding, don’t worry.”

“Tonight there won’t be any Isak teasing, Even! Deal?”

“I’ll think about it.” Even winked, turned and went in the direction of the cash desk.

This boy was so adorable when he blushed, how should Even not tease him when the beautiful redness climbed up his pretty cheeks. No, Isak had definitely to deal with that.

 

**20:33**

The party was crowded, Even could recognise some people from his classes and a lot other people from Nissen. Even was standing with Isak’s friends at the foot of the stairs when Isak was already running upstairs because he was too afraid to meet Emma.

_Adorable fool._

Even had been talking to Isak how he could tell her that he wasn’t interested almost the whole way down to her house. Jealousy and everything ignored.

“Isak is such an idiot, he could have her, she is fucking crazy about him.” Magnus jelled behind him and clapped on Even shoulder. “Should we go upstairs man?”

He had met Magnus, Jonas and Madhi ten minutes ago when they had arrived with all the beer. They had all greeted him friendly and Magnus had hugged him tightly. Even didn’t know if Magnus was so happy to meet him or if he was just so grateful that Even bought them booze for their courage.

They were just about to go upstairs as a familiar face came smiling out of the crowd. Emma. Who the fuck else.

“Hi guys! So nice to see you here! Uhm, isn’t Isak with you?” Her face faltered as she recognized that Isak wasn’t with them.

Even tried really hard not to roll his eyes in annoyance and before everyone could say something he spoke.

“Hey Emma, thank you for inviting us. Isak will come later.”

Jonas, Madhi and Magnus looked confused at that, with questions in their eyes and Even gave them a small nod to play along.

“Uh yeah, thanks. Isak will come soon as well.” Jonas told Emma.

She nodded happily and smiled again. “Good. Okay, I’ll go to say hi to other people. Have fun guys.”

As soon Emma disappeared in the crowd Jonas started to laugh. “Is Issy hiding or what?”

Even laughed and shock his head. “Yes, he is. He said he is going to stay in the bathroom and drink until he is drunk. And then he is going to face Emma.”

“What an idiot.” Said Madhi and clasped his hand against his forehead in disbelieve.

“I’ll hook up with her tonight guys, you’ll see!” Magnus yelled and started for the stairs.

Even raised his eyebrows in question but Jonas just shook his head. “Better don’t ask man. That’s Magnus, you will see.”

 

**20:41**

“Where the fuck have you guys been?” Isak asked as soon they entered the bathroom and closed the door.

And well, what a sight. _Bloody fucking hell!_

Isak was standing in the bathroom, leaning against a wall next to the window, with an open beer can in his hand. He had taken off his jacket and stood there in a white, tight shirt, which just reached over his belt.

Even stared in disbelieve as Isak took a sip from his beer and his shirt slipped up so Even could take a glimpse of his pale, slender hips.

_What the fuck is this??_

“Well, we met Emma downstairs, you were lucky that she didn’t see you.” Jonas answered and Even went straight for a beer can, opened it and took a deep sip before looking back at Isak.

_He wants to kill me!_

“Fuck. Anyways, Madhi do you have something to smoke with you?” Isak asked hopefully and set on the floor.

“Sure thing Bro.” Madhi grabbed into his jacket and pulled out a little bag of weed.

Even couldn’t stop the laugh escaping his lips when he pulled out a finished joint out of his pocket.

“Let’s smoke this one first.” He raised his arm with the joint as they turned their heads to him and cheered in enthusiasm.

Isak smiled at him over his can and Even’s heart jumped. He raised his eyebrows grinning and stretched out his arm so Isak could take the joint. 

“Thanks.” Isak grinned, shoved the joint between his perfect lips and lit it up with the fire Even gave him.

 

_Yep, it’s definitely too hot in here._


	14. Confessions

**Friday, 28.10.** _  
_

 

_(Even)_

**23:03**

Even was standing downstairs and chatted with a guy from one of his classes. By now there were even more people at the party and Even was surprised how they all fitted into this house without trashing all the things. It was wild, for sure, but it was still okay. People behaved, okay for a party they did, they were dancing, screeching, laughing and singing.

Now and then Even’s eyes darted around the room, he was looking for Isak, of course.

After they had smoked some weed and drunken some cans of beer in the bathroom, Isak had felt brave enough to face Emma. Finally. They had walked downstairs where Emma surprisingly spotted Isak immediately and hurried to Isak to hug him tightly. Even had tried really hard not to push her away but was luckily diverted by his class mate which had come to chat with him.

So now, he tried to concentrate on the conversation and not to run off to search Isak. Evil as his mind was he couldn’t stop the pictures of Isak and Emma kissing in a corner of the kitchen or worse in Emma’s bed.

_Calm down, Even. Calm the fuck down!_

But he couldn’t, he had to fight for his man.

 

Even (23:06):

Everything good?

 

Even watched Madhi and Magnus in the crowd, dancing with some first year chicks. Maybe he could ask Magnus to look for Emma. But that would be too obvious and Isak would probably hate him then.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out with the hope it was Isak.

_Yes!_

Isak (23:09):

Yes but she is mad

 

Isak (23:09):

But I don’t care

 

Even let out a long hushed breath, pulled his phone back into his pocket, looked around and there he was. Isak was standing next to a blonde and a brown haired girl. _Okay?_ The one he recognized as Vilde, which had talked to him once about a Kosegruppa or something and the other girl was one of her friends. She was pretty.

He monitored them over the room, the brown haired girl was clearly drunk because she was swaying a lot and had an arm embraced around Isak for stability. Isak was laughing with them about something but it didn’t look like he was going to try a move on her.

_Mh, Isak. Don’t you dare…_

Suddenly Isak’s eye locked with Even’s and he grinned at him and nodded. Even grinned widely back and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Now or never, he had to continue his game. Or okay, it wasn’t a game anymore, this had gotten to real to call that a game. It was more likely an operation.

 

Even (23:19):

You think I’m hot

 

He typed and looked across the room to Isak which was watching at him in question and looked then down at his phone as he saw the Even’s message.

Even grinned and knew Isak was blushing because he was staring at his phone. Frozen. And so fucking adorable. The girl hadn’t her hand around Isak’s waste anymore, she was dancing next to him with Vilde. But Isak didn’t seem to notice, he was still staring at his phone.

 

Isak (23:20):

You texted I’m hot

 

Even read Isak’s reply he looked up to meet green eyes. He didn’t look uncomfortable and that motivated Even to go on.

 

Even (23:20):

You are hot

 

Even (23:20):

Want to go outside and smoke?

 

Even watched Isak as he read the message and looked up, nodded and walked away in the direction of the entry door.

Even said goodbye to his classmate and followed Isak, smiling.

As he followed Isak outside he tried to push away his thoughts circling in his mind. He had thought a lot about it but he had always been too afraid to tell Isak. He was to fucking scared of losing him.

_Fuck Even. You have to tell him! You have to tell him you’re bipolar!_

 

 

 _(Isak)_  

**23:44**

Isak and Even were outside perched on a wall, somewhere in Emma’s yard, out of the light, watching people running in and out.

They were smoking a Joint which Even had pulled out of his pocket as he walked to Isak. Isak felt tipsy but good.

He had talked to Emma, when you could call that a conversation. As soon as he had dragged her into the kitchen where it was quieter, she had her lips pressed on his. Afterwards he wasn’t surprised about that, she must had thought that it was what he intended to do after finding a quiet place.

But Isak had turned his face away and babbled something like he was sorry but he wasn’t interested in her. She had looked at him in confusion and in shock but after he hadn’t tried to explain himself more she had turned around on her heel and left him standing in the kitchen.

So now there he was, sitting with Even outside and tried to process all the things which had happened in the last two days. What was this? What? He didn’t know what all of this meant, but he knew one thing. He was ready. He was fucking ready for everything what may come. And it felt good, he felt- yes he felt somehow free.

But Jesus, Even wrote he was hot. He wrote it when Isak had been standing across the room.

_What the fuck should I do now?!_

Isak had told Even how the “conversation” with Emma had been and he thought he saw a hint of jealousy in Even’s expression when he said that Emma had kissed him.

_So far, so good, Isak!_

“How do you like the party?”

“I’m glad I’m here.” Answered Even with a grin.

“Good.”

Some people stumbled outside the house, yelling, as they walked out of the street. One of them Isak recognized as Chris Berg, a friend of Eva’s who had eye-fucked him while licking a spoon a long time ago. Okay it wasn’t that long ago but Isak tried to forget this part of his life, with dark actions and without regard about people around him. He had been so fucking lost back then…

Even took a deep drag from the Joint and turned his head to Isak.

“You know what I heard earlier?” He asked.

“What?”

Even laughed and ran his hand though his fluffy hair. “I heard you’re good at rapping.”

_Fuck no!_

Isak let out a surprised and embarrassed laugh at that. Why? Just why?! Immediately he thought he would kill Magnus the next time he sees him. Who else would tell that Even? _Jesus._

“I’m going to kill Magnus. Fuck!”

“Why? Magnus is great, more important is that I’m curious now. What are you going to do about it?”

Even grinned mischievously and handed Isak the Joint.

“Nothing, Even. I won’t rap now!”

“Come on, Isak! You have two options, either you’re going to rap or I’m sure I will see a video or something soon. Magnus told me that there even exists a song.”

Isak groaned and hid his face in embarrassment behind his hand. _Thank you Magnus!_

There was no way that he’s going to rap in front of Even.

“Fucking hell. So much about the teasing, Even.” Isak took a last drag from the Joint and dropped it to the ground.

Even watched him, eyes sparkling with amusement and lips tightly pressed together. Yes, he was clearly holding his laughter and Isak couldn’t hold back his smile. But only because of the beauty which was sitting in his view.  _Damn tease!_

“You understand that I’m curious now?”

“Then you have to stop being curious, Even.”

“How should I do that, with you in front of me?”

“Huh?”

“I already told you once that I’m curious about you?”

Even was facing him now, it was like his eyes looked right into Isak’s soul. And Isak was on fire, his body seemed to react in every cell when Even was near him. As it would like to tell him that Even was the oxygen for his heart, so that his body could work probably.

_Enough Jay for you Isak!_

Isak stayed quiet for a while after that. What the fuck does this mean now? He still couldn’t believe that someone like Even could be interested in more than friendship. That was just too unrealistic in his eyes.

“You know quite a lot about me.”

“Not enough.” Even winked, stretched out his legs and looked up to the dark sky.

Isak smiled shyly but pulled himself quickly together. He didn’t know if he had to thank his intoxication for that but something gave him new courage.

“I’m gay.”

It came out quicker than he intended, his eyes widened in shock and fear. He hadn’t told this anyone until this night. Maybe Eskild knew but he hadn’t ever talked to him about that.

Isak looked at the ground, he didn’t want to see the look in Even’s eyes. Doesn’t matter how he was looking.

He felt Even watching him and his stomach clenched in nervousness.

“That’s okay, Isak. You know that right?” Whispered Even softly.

Isak slowly raised his head to look at Even who was smiling at him warmly.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I told you. I haven’t told that anyone before.” Isak blurted out.

Even looked shocked but he hid it quickly and focused his eyes directly on Isak’s. “Please don’t apologize, don’t ever apologize for who you are, that makes no sense. You’re great, Isak!”

_Bloody fucking hell, why is Even so damn perfect?!_

Isak smiled lightly at that and watched Even in wonder. This amazing human being, which probably wouldn’t harm a fly and whose heart was full of smiles and love, made everything sound so fucking easy.

“Thanks.” Whispered Isak back.

“Thank you for telling me and your trust, I really appreciate it.”

They smiled at each other quietly and Isak looked up to see the moon hang behind the clouds. The clouds were slightly moving and the moon started to shine through them more and more.

Step by step.

Although he had only told Even about this, he felt so much lighter now. It had been good to tell someone, it helped to start accept himself and gave him new courage for the next steps which may come. Like telling his friends, flat mates and parents.

Telling his mother…

“You know what?” Even started talking and Isak watched his sparkling eyes as they turned to search Isak’s face.

“Uhm what?”

“I knew who you are before we met.”

Isak froze. _Huh?_

“Wait. You knew who I was?”

“Yes. But I wasn’t sure…”

“You cheated! I can’t believe you, Even!” Isak tried to look angry but his mouth couldn’t escape the smile which started to spread over his cheeks.

“I didn’t, I just had an idea who you are and I was right at the end.” Even winked. Could he ever stop winking and teasing? Isak was confused.

“What gave me away?”

But Even stood up and walked towards the house, leaving Isak with his question alone. And Isak wasn’t surprised about Even’s dramatic move. That was Even. The most beautiful person he knew.

_God Isak! You’re dangerously lost for this guy!_

After Even walked some steps forward, he turned around, smirking.

“Let’s go inside, there is still a party going on!”

And Isak stood up to follow him. Of course he would follow him. He would follow Even to the end of the world and he would find out the truth behind all this eventually.

 


	15. Go for it

**Saturday, 29.10.**

 

**00:33**

After they had gone inside, Isak was dragged by Jonas into the kitchen and Isak lost Even out of his sight.

Jonas was wasted, Isak could tell that easily after years of friendship. He was babbling something about Magnus and how he had started a move on Emma, which had been already kissing another guy. Isak didn’t want to hear all of this shit. His mind was full with Even, especially after the confession he had made.

When it hadn’t been that Jonas was so wasted he had thought about telling him. This night had given him so much courage, that he had his full trust in everything he would do. But no, not when Jonas was drunk like this.

So Isak gave Jonas a cup of water and dragged him back into the living room. His eyes travelled over the people in hope he would spot Even somewhere, but he couldn’t find him.

He just saw Madhi kissing a girl in the corner and Magnus playing beer pong with Vilde, Eva and some guy he didn’t know.

Jonas walked behind Isak through the crowd and Isak thought it would be for the best if they would go outside for some fresh air. He made a move to the door and turned back to Jonas but he just caught a glimpse of his curly hair moving back into the crowd where people were dancing.

_This fucker!_

Isak couldn’t differently than laugh about his wasted friend when Even suddenly stood in front of him. Tall and beautiful and shining like the sun. And Isak’s heart started to pound hard as Even bend down to him.

“You look lonely.”

Even’s breath smelled like beer, tabak and mint and  Isak tried to hide his shiver as he felt Even’s warm breath on his skin. He turned his own lips to Even’s ear because the music was too loud to hold a normal conversation in here.

“Yeah, wasted Jonas just ran off.”

Even laughed and was about to say something when Isak felt an arm around his waist and turned around to face Eva. A very drunk Eva. She was smiling up to him and threw herself into his arms. Isak stumbled back but managed to catch her and she pressed her head against his chest. Nudging into his shirt and turning her glossy eyes up to Isak’s face.

“IIIIsak! You know what? I miss you!” She babbled.

Isak gave Even an apologetic look and shoved Eva into the direction of Vilde which was still playing beer pong with Magnus.

“Your friend is hot! I came to say hello, why are you dragging me away from him?” Eva lilted into his ear and Isak concentrated very hard not to let her fall out of his arms.

“Jesus Eva.” He chuckled and tapped Vilde on the back as soon as they reached her.

He pulled Eva away from him and she immediately collapsed into Vilde’s arms which was stroking her hair now. Isak patted Eva’s head, gave Vilde a thankful smile and turned to Magnus who was already shouting into his ear about some first year chick and something with a toilet seat.

Isak looked towards the door in hope Even was still standing there but he wasn’t. He was about to turn his eyes back to Magnus as he spotted Even, leaning against a wall. A girl was standing next to him, she was clearly flirting with him in the way she played with her hair. Isak watched how she put her hand on Even’s arm, squeezing it and throwing hopeful looks into his direction.

Isak felt sick at the sight and moved his eyes up to Even’s and well…

_Fuck._

Even was already watching him, no piercing him with his look and didn’t bother to look away as he coughed Isak looking. He stared at him, blankly and didn’t try to listen or to answer the girl next to him.

And Isak was lost. His mind was blank, he stood there frozen as he stared back into Even’s eyes.

It felt like hours passed and as if there were just the two of them in the room. But this moment was quickly gone again as Isak was jerked out of his stare by Magnus which pulled an arm around his shoulders and pushed him along with him to play beer pong.

Isak didn’t dare to look back at Even, he had struggles to realize that this moment of staring really happened.

“Isak! You’re with me in the team, we will rock this shiiit!” Screamed Magnus into his ear but Isak wasn’t interested. He needed to do something, like right now. And to start with drinking some water was maybe the best idea for now. Maybe he had just smoked too much this evening. He needed a clear head to survive this, to survive to be near Even without doing something stupid.

_Like what Isak?!_

He pushed his way into the kitchen, splashed water into his face and drank two cups of water. Luckily he felt immediately better and fresher in his head.

_So, what are you going to do now?_

And like this was a question directed to the universe, the answer was pretty quickly standing next to him.

Even.

“Want to go and bang outside?”

_WHAT -- Did he--?!_

“What??”

Isak looked at Even in shock, which was standing in front of him, smiling. Even looked fucking hot tonight, yes he looked like a sex-god but that was too much now.

“I asked if you want to go and hang outside?”

Now there would be the perfect opportunity to dunk his head under water. And he thought these two cups had helped. Funny.

_Isak, you’re an idiot._

“Uhm yes, in a second.” Isak answered and turned around to the tap to fill up his cup. He was blushing and his hands were slightly shaking and of course Even noticed.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh. Uhm, yes. Had a bit too much I guess.”

He turned back to face Even and found him watching him in concern. So Isak quickly smiled and gestured to the door.

 

 

They were outside for a while now, Isak breathed in the fresh air of the night as they talked about this and that. Isak felt better by now but he didn’t trust his judgement after what happened earlier in the kitchen. Even was all smiles and charming as always, he had this talent to calm Isak and his twirling thoughts down.

But there were some thoughts he couldn’t let go, he had been thinking about the entire night. And he had to ask, just to know if he was on the safe side. After everything what happened, he had this spark of hope.

_Fuck it._

“Who was this girl earlier?”

Isak watched Even with the best fake grin and a wink he could manage. Yes, after asking this question he had made a move into the stare situation they had been earlier. But Isak didn’t care anymore. He didn’t fucking care.

“I don’t know her. Why? Jealous?” Even grinned with raised eyebrows. His eyebrows seemed to be fucking alive. They were jumping up and down like all the time.

“I mean, you’ve had the great opportunity to hook up with her.”

“Yes, maybe. But I’m not interested in a random hook up, I told you.”

_Isak ask!_

Isak furrowed and cleared his throat. “Is it because of this guy?”

Even seemed to struggle with an answer, so Isak went on.

“You know the cute one you told me about.”

Even let out a deep breath. “Maybe.”

Isak nodded, mostly to himself and ignored the clenching pain which he felt in his chest. His hands were clinging the wall he was sitting on, it hurt but Isak ignored it. After all it was a good pain compared to the one in his chest. He nudged Even’s shoulder, forcing a grin.

“Go for it Even! Is he here at the party?”

_God Isak, what are you doing…?_

Even turned his head to face Isak, monitoring him with a warm smile on his face.

“Yes, he is.”

Isak looked at him in question and Even took another deep breath. He searched Isak’s face, there was worry and fear in his eyes, Isak could tell. But before he could say something else, Even nudged one of his fingers against Isak’s, stroking his little finger slightly.

“He is sitting right next to me.”

With that, Even stood up and walked away, again, into the direction of the street, away from the party. And Isak was sitting there, alone and breathless, trying to think about what the fuck just happened.

 


	16. Universe of dreams

**Saturday, 29.10.**

 

**01:01**

The next view minutes were unreal, they were kind of a dream in Isak’s eyes, unbelievable and intense. Too intense.

It was like Isak was a new person, this wasn’t his doing, this wasn’t him. That was Even, he had charmed him, he had charmed his heart.

And that’s how Isak leaped on his feet and ran across the yard. His vision blurry and his mouth parted so he wouldn’t forget to breath. In Isak’s head the people around him didn’t exist anymore, the party didn’t exist, the only thing what was clearer in his mind than everything ever had been was Even.

Even.

Isak reached the street, breathless and shacking. But still pumped with adrenaline, love or whatever it was. He looked around the street, his eyes searching the familiar figure of the man what gave him all this crazy emotions.

And there he was.

Even just disappeared behind a street lantern, Isak took a last glimpse of his fluffy hair, shining under the warm light. Then Even was back in the dark of the night, walking step by step further, away from him.

And Isak looked up into the sky, he could made out dots of lonely stars, shining in the dark of the night. He looked up for answers or for just a hint that he was doing the right thing. Although he didn’t get an answer, he knew the right answer was deep in his heart. The universe was with them.

Isak closed his eyes and took a last deep breath before he was walking. His feet were walking, quicker and quicker, in unison with the fast pounding of this heart in his chest.

The street light where he had seen Even before was disappearing over his head now, but he didn’t stop. Why should he? He ran further, ran to the tall figure in front of him.

His mind was full of colors now, no thoughts, just colors, shining bright as Even did for him.

The rest was a dream.

Even had stopped, Isak barely registered that in his bubble of energy. He was still moving forward, not able to stop.Only as he was a couple of steps away from him he slowed down but not completely.

_There is no turning back now, Isak. Not anymore!_

Even made a move to turn around when Isak reached him, he grabbed Even’s arm and whirled him around to face him. His other hand was already on Even’s jaw, his fingers buried in his neck, wisp of hair around his fingertips as he pressed them deeper into his skin.

And then his lips were pressed against Even’s mouth.

A jolt stroke through Isak’s body, his chest seemed to burn and his lips prickled with life. He felt a big hand cup his chin softly, lightly, dancing fingers on his skin. Then he realized that he was shaking, hard. But his lips never left Even’s and Even’s never left his.

Even’s other hand was in his hair, stroking the strands of curls. The snapback was probably lying on the floor or wherever, Isak didn’t care.

The kiss was desperate and soft in the same time, Even’s lips were warm and smooth but firmly pressed against Isak’s. And Isak just took, he took everything he could get. His left hand fisting Even’s jacket and the kiss became messier. Isak stumbled forward, he couldn’t hold back, and pinched Even against a fence next to the street.

He wasn’t thinking, luckily the fence was high and solid. Even made a surprised sound as he crashed with his spine against the hard metal. But Isak was too invested into this kiss to care much, his hand was messing Even’s hair as he kissed the hell out of him.

He felt the tip of Even’s tongue wander over his upper lip, wet and tender as he hold Isak’s head firm. Isak wasn’t able to move, to angle his head to take, just to take and take and take. Even wasn’t having it, he let his tongue graze against Isak’s lips, slowly. And Isak couldn’t differently than whimper into his mouth. He cupped Isak’s checks and jaw on each side, firm but gentle, Isak was still unable to move, he had let Even to take the charge.

And then Even’s tongue was in his mouth, stroking against his tongue, tasting him. Isak whined and Even finally loosened his grip so Isak was able to move his head again. Panting into his mouth, hands pulling on strands of Even’s hair, angling his head. Pressing his body against Even’s to feel his warmth, to feel his heart hammering against his chest, to feel his body against his.

Slowly Isak realized what he was doing, he was pressed against Even, whose tongue was sliding in his mouth, panting hard. And Isak couldn’t fucking believe it and he didn’t want to stop but his mouth had turned into a pathetic smile and it was growing wider and wider. Unable to kiss anymore but drowning into the happiest smile he had ever felt.

Even had stopped kissing him as well, mouth still against his but slowly separating as he felt Isak’s smile growing and growing until it grow into giggles. Isak felt dumb but he couldn’t stop smiling and he pressed his face into Even’s jacket, breathing him in.

He felt a light touch underneath his chin and a small pressure as Even lifted his head up to face him. And Isak let him. To see that Even was grinning too, his unbelievably cute grin which let his eyes crinkle in the corners and let Isak melt just more.

Their eyes met, sparkling, shining and damp. Overwhelmed from having each other that way, reading each other, searching insecurities which needed to be fixed.

And then Even pecked his mouth, again and again, smiling, giggling, pulling him into a tight hug and Isak was flying high.

They hugged each other, thinking about how they reached this point to have each other like this. That a stupid school experiment had brought them together, that they had learned to desire each other over texts, about everything they had learned from each other. About everything they knew from each other and they were still growing. Growing in each other’s arms, together.

Even stroked his back, caress his hair and peppering little kissed over his head. Isak just sighed into Even’s neck, breathing in his skin, taking deep, deep breaths. Never want to let go again.

“Fucking finally!” Even giggled into his hair and took a step back to look at him. Just to look, hands still in his hair and on his back.

Isak just smiled, unable to talk, cheeks rosy, eyes darting shyly up to Even’s face. And Even just laughed and hugged him again, pressed him against himself, firm and strong, nearly pumping the breath out of Isak’s lungs. But Isak wouldn’t pull back, he wouldn’t be able to.

There were people on the street, Isak could hear voices and steps but he didn’t turn to look. It wasn’t important, he couldn’t give a shit. He was in Even’s arms and that was everything that mattered right now.

The energy he had felt earlier was evaporated, he felt his body relax and he snuggled against Even’s chest, eyes closed, breathing steadily. Trying to wake up from this dream.

But it was real.

Bloody fucking real and Isak pulled back to look directly into Even’s eyes, searching and questioning. Even was still smiling, monitoring Isak’s face kind of making sure that he was alright. And then he started to kiss Isak’s face, his cheeks, his nose, forehead, temples, eyelids, jaw, chin, mouth. Small pecks all over Isak’s skin and Isak began to grin again.

Stroking Even’s hand as he entwined them and started to pull him with him down the street. To go somewhere else to be with him alone, somewhere quiet. Somewhere cozy.  

To kiss until they fell asleep, to slide into the universe of dreams and to meet each other there again.

 

The universe was with them.

 


	17. Smiles and kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for my delay. I just hadn't the motivation to write on, I was kind of frustrated with this fic. Sometimes I have this hate/love relationship with it but I think this is because I'm often too hard with myself. Also I have a whole new AU idea ghosting through my head. But I sketched up some things I definitely want to happen in this one, so I'm going to write along. Thank you so much for your kind comments, every single one makes me smile. Thanks for reading and thanks to those who stick with me. I hope you like this chapter. <3

**Saturday, 29.10.**

 

  **01:44**

Isak had led Even to his flat, grinning, blushing and kissing him without stop.

Even couldn’t believe that he was sitting in Isak’s room now. On his bed, smelling his scent from the blankets, pillows and his cloths which were spread over the floor.

Even couldn’t fucking believe his luck to be here. He couldn’t. When Isak came back from the kitchen with a bottle of water, he reached for him immediately to bath his face in kisses. And Isak pressed against him, as if Even was his safe harbor. Maybe he was, but he just couldn’t believe this.

“Should we lie down? Uhm, it’s pretty late…” Isak asked blushing.

He was so adorable like this, all smiley, red cheeks and clingy. And Even knew he wasn’t able to leave anymore. From this day on he knew that he was lost, that he was falling hard and quick. After he had tasted his kisses, felt his body pressing against his, felt his heart hammering in his chest. No, his heart wouldn’t let him. Isak was deep in there, adnate forever.

“Yes.” Even whispered softly, stroking his curls.

Isak closed his eyes for a moment, content, with a happy smile on his face when Even let his fingers drift from his hair down to his cheekbones, tracing the beautiful lines, further to his nose and mouth. He stroked his upper lip and replaced his finger with a lingering kiss. Isak melted against him, hands against his chest.

After a moment Even pulled away and started to take off his socks and unbutton his jeans to strip them off. Isak jumped up as he saw what he was doing and hurried nervously to his wardrobe. Back faced to Even, rummaging for something, probably clothes. Even watched him and he was about to pull his shirt over his head as he saw Isak turning back to him, mouth open in the intention to ask something but swirled quickly back around when he glimpsed at Even’s bare hips and belly.

Even let out a chuckle, tossed his shirt aside and made a view long strides to the boy. He hugged him from behind, kissing his neck. Isak was trembling slightly, heart pounding fast.

“Hey, everything alright? Are you feeling uncomfortable?” Whispered Even into his ear.

Isak shuddered but stroked slowly over Even’s arms. “Uhm. All good. Sorry. Uhm, it’s just… New for me I guess.”

“Do you rather want me to go? I would understand.” Even squeezed his arm.

“No! Oh god, no. Please don’t go!”

Isak turned around, searching his face, fear in his eyes. Arms pulling around Even’s waste as if he wanted Even to stop from running off.

“I mean, if you want to go-- You can of course. But I--  I won’t force you to stay-- “

“Isak, I want to stay here with you.” Even interrupted him and took his face into his hands, forcing him to look at him.

“I really do. I want to kiss you, hold you all night. And wake up with you. Can I?”

Isak’s face lit up at these words, a small smile spreading over his lips. “You can.” He whispered, eyes moving down to Even’s lips, hands now on Even’s neck, pulling him down to him. They kissed again, sweet and slowly, hands darting lightly over each other’s skin.

As they parted Isak smiled warmly. “Do you want a shirt to sleep in?”

“I prefer to sleep just in my pants, is that alright?” Even asked carefully.

“Uh. Yeah of course. I uhm--  I also sleep without shirt so …”

Even smiled, nodding and turning around to lie down, checking his phone while he let Isak undress himself. Pretending that he wasn’t looking, but he couldn’t differently than sneak a peek at Isak’s naked upper part of his body. 

_Jesus Christ!_

He knew Isak is fit, that he does some sport and that he has muscles. But that, that was more than he had dared to imagine. Bloody fucking hell this boy was hot, he knew he was hot. But this was a fucking six-pack.

And after the events of the night, Isak’s pale hipbones he had seen in the bathroom - No, he hadn’t forgotten – he was going to sleep with him in the same bed. Both wearing nothing more than pants.

_Oh dear…_

Even was in Isak’s bed, shirtless. Isak was about to lie next to him, shirtless.

_Okay Even, breath._

He couldn’t else than laugh about himself and at this situation right now. _It’s your own fucking fault!_

His body was on fire and he had troubles breathing as he felt Isak’s fingers brush over his shoulder.

The phone still clenched in his hands, he closed his eyes, breathed in and out, trying hard to get familiar with this situation. Isak’s fingers were still roaming over his back, tickling him at some parts.

Okay, now Even had to do something because he was about to jump him. He turned around and coughed Isak’s hand in his, kissing his fingers softly and laying them down, entwined, between them on the bed.

Isak’s eyes were darting over Even’s bare shoulders and arms. Shining in the warm light of the bedside lamp, beautifully green, framed from dark lashes. Even’s chest was heating up rapidly as he watched Isak facing him, curls messy, pale shoulders peeking out from under the covers. His knees pressed against Even’s tights. He was in heaven. That was his personal imagination of heaven.

Even cleared his throat as he saw Isak’s eyes roaming down to Even’s chest. “You could have told me you know.”

Isak’s eyed jumped up to Even’s face, confused and questioning. “What do you mean?”

“That you are so…muscular.”

_Great Even, great…_

Isak blushed but started to laugh as he watched Even’s serious expression.

“Shut up, silly.”

“Silly? Are you serious right now? Do you even know how hot you are Isak?”

_Great plan, you horny idiot._

Yeah this went absolutely the wrong way but as soon as he saw Isak raising his eyebrows at him, smirking and rolling his eyes, he calmed down. He tried to be content, ignoring the burning fire of desire.

“I’m still mad at you, you know.” Isak answered with a serious expression now.

Even frowned, confusion clearly written over his face. “Mad? What did I do?”

“You cheated in pretending you don’t know who I am.”

“I didn’t cheat, I found out the night before but I wasn’t sure, I couldn’t believe it… And I was overwhelmed to be honest.”

Isak opened his mouth to say something but seemed to struggle with his words. Clearly confused, gaping at Even. “Huh?! What--  What do you mean the night before?”

“I found out when we texted that night.”

“But--  But you said I’m the cute guy?”

Even smiled softly. “Yeah, but I didn’t know that I was texting with the cute guy the whole time.”

“Oh. Wow.”

Even stroked his knuckles with his thumb, looking into Isaks eyes. “ Yeah, I thought the same back then. Was it destiny? Coincidence? A call from the universe? I don’t know.”

“So you--  you were like flirting or something with me because you found out I’m the cute guy?”

“No! No, Isak, no.” Even pressed Isak’s hand soothingly. “I was flirting with you over texts as well, remember? It was just the sign for me to let it happen. Yes, I thought back then that the cute guy is the most beautiful human being I have ever seen but I also thought that “I” is fucking beautiful without knowing how he looks like.”

He took a deep breath, his eyes roaming Isak’s face. “I wanted you, you from the texting, almost right from the beginning. And then I found out that you are like both. It sounds crazy I know and… I can’t fucking believe it myself…”

Isak looked at him disbelievingly. “You-- You wanted me?”

“Yes, I loved our conversations and… Fuck, you are just so fucking amazing Isak.”

Isak stared at him with shiny eyes and with a soft smile dancing around his cheeks. The whole story was messing with Even’s head since he had found out.

He remembered the first time he had seen Isak on the tram after the first day of school. When Isak had entered the tram Even forgot to breath. And now he lay here, in Isak’s bed. Holding his hand.

“I wanted you too…” Isak whispered and moved closer to kiss Even’s cheek.

Even started to stroke Isak’s face, drawing small circles on his cheeks, eyes following his moving fingers on Isak’s skin. Tracing his eyebrows, his nose, lips, chin, just to feel and see now. After all this he had Isak in his arms to watch and feel him, to smell him, to hear his voice and his breath.

“Am I dreaming…?” Whispered Even after some time, fingers moving down to trace Isak’s neck and shoulders. Feeling Isak shiver under his hand.

Isak laid his hand behind Even’s neck and pulled him closer. Shortly before their lips met he whispered warmly, “Am I?”

 


	18. Just say yes

 

**Saturday, 29.10.**

 

**10:01**

“Isaaak!”

Even woke up by a loud knocking at Isak’s door. He needed some time to realize where he actually was and what the fuck was going on.

_Dream??_

He heard Isak groan in annoyance next to him, turning around, hair messy and eyes still shut.

“Leave me alone, Eskild!”

_Okay, no dream…wow!_

“I just wanted to ask if you and your guest also want some eggs for breakfast!” Eskild shouted behind the door.

Isak’s eyes flew open, he blinked and stared at Even, confused. Then he seemed to have settled his mind as a wide grin appeared on his face and he snuggled closer to rest his head on Even’s shoulder.

“Ten minutes!” Isak shouted after he had looked at Even in question.

“Hurry!” They heard Eskild shout back before they heard his steps disappear down the hall.

“We have to brush our teeth, like right now. I need to kiss you.” Isak mumbled into his shoulder.

“Then kiss me?”

“No, I mean we drunk and smoked. We stink.”

Even laughed. “True.”

 

They walked into the bathroom and Even couldn’t stop staring at Isak, at his messy curls and eyes drunk with sleep. He was so pretty.

After Isak had handed him a new toothbrush and saying that it was Even’s now, Even almost burst out of happiness. They were standing next to each other facing the mirror, brushing their teeth.

Even’s eyes wandered over Isak’s naked upper body, shining in the daylight. He let his fingers stroke over Isak’s spine, feeling goosebumps rising under his fingers. And after he coughed Isak’s lingering look in the mirror, he couldn’t resist.

He laid the toothbrush down and spit into the sink, then he turned around and pulled Isak’s toothbrush out of his mouth. Isak stared at him in disbelieve. He bent down to spit the cream out of his mouth so he could speak and turned right back to Even.

“What the hell-- ?”

He was interrupted by Even’s mouth on his, firm and greedy. Kissing him and pressing his body against the sink. Isak whined and kissed him eagerly back, his hands drifting through Even’s hair.

Even pulled back after a while, laughing as he saw Isak’s mouth and the skin around smeared with toothpaste.

“What the fuck?” Isak laughed.

“Sorry, just made sure we don’t stink when we kiss.”

They stood in front of each other and stared at their white mouths before they broke into sounding laughter and Isak shoved him laughing.

“You’re unbelievable!” said Isak, right before he kissed him again.

_You are baby._

After a while, Even managed to flee out of Isak’s grip into the hallway. He had a towel in his hand and cleaned his mouth as he walked to Isak’s room. Suddenly a guy with short, red hair turned the corner out of the kitchen, eyes wide and surprised as he saw Even with the towel in his hands.

“Morning Eskild.” Even chirped and hurried further to Isak’s room to put on some cloths. Chuckling about the confusion he saw spreading over Eskild’s face.

As he was back in the hallway he heard Isak shouting in the bathroom.

“Eskild! You can’t just walk in here!”

“Why is toothbrush smeared around your mouth?”

“Uhm…”

Even reached the bathroom exactly then when Eskild started to laugh hard. His hands clenched over his mouth, eyes wide in surprise.

“No way! You--  “

“That would be my fault I think.” Said Even from behind Eskild, amused about the situation he found himself in. Isak’s face bright red, eyes wide, darting from Eskild to Even.

Eskild swirled around to face Even.

“Hi, I’m Even.” He extended his hand for Eskild to shake.

“Oh! Hi Even, I’m Eskild but you seem to know that already.” He chuckled.

“Yes, Isak told me about you. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, did he?” Eskild turned back to Isak who was cleaning his mouth, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“I ask me why as well, Eskild. I really do.” Isak said walking out of the bathroom.

“I feel honored little buddy and I love you too.” He called after Isak which was hurrying into his room.

Then he turned back to Even, eyes traveling up and down his body, smirking. Even couldn’t hold his chuckle under his breath.

“It’s very nice to meet you too”, Eskild winked. “Let’s eat some breakfast, I hope you like eggs. And you’re lucky I’m home, Isak wouldn’t be capable of serving you eggs. We are glad he can make Ramen without hurting himself. ”

“Shut up Eskild! It’s not true!” They heard Isak shout out of his room.

Even and Eskild looked at each other, grinning and Eskild rolled his eyes, but still with a fond smile on his face.

 

-

 

They have had breakfast with Eskild who didn’t hold back to ask about their acquaintance, grinning and winking at Isak. Isak had been a blushing mess, eyes rolling so hard that Even had been afraid they would stuck if he didn’t stop soon.

But Even liked Eskild, he saw how much Eskild loved Isak. And he saw how much Isak loved him, rolling eyes couldn’t hide it. Eskild wanted just the best for him and he didn’t refrain to give Even a warning.

‘Isak is my family and I’ll do everything for my family’s happiness. So if I see them hurting I’ll also make sure the responsible is hurting twice as hard’ Eskild had told him after Isak had left the kitchen.

So when Even whispered into Eskild's ear that he would look out for him because he was dependent on Isak’s happiness more then he could convey and if it should happen that he would hurt him, Eskild had the permission to hunt his dreams forever.

After that statement Eskild’s eyes had gotten wet and he had pulled Even into a tight embrace, sobbing into his ear how he know that he was the best thing Isak had ever managed to get with his grumpiness.

Even had smiled to himself as he entered Isak’s room, finding Isak already snuggled into his covers, looking wistfully at him. Whining where he had been, holding up an arm, indicating to come to bed. 

And what could Even do differently than follow the whiny noises of this adorable boy. Cuddling him under the covers, kissing his blonde, mazy curls.

 

-

 

“We have to watch Psycho soon.”

“But it’s scary…”

“Oh baby, I’ll protect you, don’t worry.”

“Shut up, I’m not a baby!”

“You are. My baby…”

“Ugh.”

 

-

 

“Even?”

“Hm?”

“Never mind.”

 

-

 

“Don’t you want to check your phone?”

“No, it’s the boys. They are asking where I disappeared last night.”

“Oh.”

“Mhh… They think I went home with a girl…”

“They are almost right, just not with the girl part.”

“Mhhhm...”

 

-

 

“Would you go on a date with me?”

“What? Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“A date?”

“With me, yes.”

“Hm… I don’t know Even, I have to check my time schedule and I’ll come back to you…”

“Shut up and say yes or I won’t kiss you again.”

“Yes!”

 

-

 

“Even?”

“Hm?”

“Is this serious for you?”

“What do you mean with “this”?”

“This… Like--  Like us…”

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life Isak.”

“Good.”

 

-

 

In the end Even stayed the whole weekend at Isak’s. After everything, he wasn’t keen to sleep without Isak in his cold bed at home. They had spent the time talking, cuddling, kissing and watching some films. But mostly they watched something just in the background because their lips seemed to be magnetically attracted. Not able to part.

Now and then Isak had dozed off in his arms and Even had watched his angelic face and listened to his steady breathing fondly. His baby.

Everything just felt so fucking right and as far as he could judge it, they worked well together, they really did. Yes, Even had his own things to tell Isak and Isak had his own things to figure out. But he had this trust they could manage all of this together.

He really was happy.

 

 

**Sunday, 30.10.**

**16:44**

“Do you really have to go?” Isak whined when Even started to gather his belongings.

“I have more care to stay than will to go…”

Isak rolled his eyes, smirking fondly. “You’re so cheesy.”

Even raised his eyebrows and turned around shortly, from where he was standing to collect his jacket from the floor.

“You like it.”

He could hear Isak snort behind him and his light steps over the floor before he felt a grabbing hand, turning him around. Isak tried to look annoyed but the small smirk on his face betrayed him. Gosh, he was so cute.

“If you care more to stay than stay.” Isak tried to tell him matter-of-factly. “Besides, where is this quote from?

Even gasped, “It’s from Romeo and Juliet?! You’re disappointing me Isak.”

He placed his flat hand dramatically on his chest over his heart. Isak chuckled, “Of course it is.”

“You liked it!”

A mischievous grin started to spread over Isak’s face. “Because of Leonardo, yeah.”

Even gasped again and grasped Isak’s wrists with his hands to pull him closer. Facing him, his lips just a fingers breadth away from Isak’s as he whispered, “First of all, I know you cried, I can prove it.” Isak shuddered as he felt Even’s breath against his face and failed to hold his expressionless mask, eyes flickering for a second down to Even’s lips. “And second of all, if you want me, than you’re going to suffer through more Romeo and Juliet movie-nights in the future.”

Even’s lips stroked Isak’s lightly and the smaller boy gasped at the contact, his half-lidded eyes now fixed on Even’s his lips. Even giggled and pulled away to put on his jacket, letting Isak standing there, alone, befuddled and slightly swaying. His eyes still half-lidded and his lips slightly parted.

“Besides, there are hotter actors. For example Ryan Gosling or James Franco, although Oz in ‘Oz the great and powerful' should have clearly been performed by Johnny Depp.”

Isak woke up from his stare at these words. His eyebrow tauntingly raised he said, “What? You’re naming Spider-Man. Is this real?”

“It’s Spider-Man.”

Isak laughed and frowned thoughtfully, a finger raised, tapping against his lips, "There are also Channing Tatum or Alexander Skarsgård."

“Channing Tatum?” Even asked unbelievingly.

“Yes.”

"Alexander Skarsgård?"

Isak grinned and shrugged. „He is tall. “

In two strides Even stood in front of Isak again, who was laughing, arms folded in front of his chest. Looking challenging up to him.

Even grinned wide. “Tall, huh?”

Isak shrugged again, expressionless. “Yeah.”

At this Even only started to grin wider and took a small step further to Isak. “So you like tall man?”

“Uhm…”

They were standing close now, Even could hear Isak’s breaths as soon as he bent down. His nose slowly caressing Isak’s. Then he grabbed Isak’s waste and squeezed them, making him squeal.

“So there is a chance you like me?” Even whispered smirking.

Isak’s eyes were dazed, his breath shuddered as he placed a hand on Even’s chest. “Yes.” He whispered.

With that, Even captured his lips and kissed him slowly and deep, pulling Isak nearer until there was no space between them. Isak sighed into his mouth as he answered the kiss.

Suddenly Isak pulled away, "Just for you to know... You are the hottest of them all."

He grinned wide and before Even could reply, his mouth was again on Even's, nibbling and sucking at his lower lip. 

They kissed for a while, Isak was fisting Even’s shirt, liking into his mouth as it would be their last one. So when Even pulled slowly away, Isak was clutching to him for dear life.

“I have to go baby, my mum is already waiting for me. I’m sorry.”

Isak pounded and let him go but not before he gave him a last peck. This boy was too adorable, Even couldn’t believe it.

_Jesus fucking Christ, how do I deserve this?!_

He let his fingers caress Isak’s check. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes.” Isak smiled.

“Good, can’t wait.”

Even kissed Isak’s forehead, turned to the door and strolled with a wave to Eskild, who was sitting in the living room, out of the flat. Leaving probably one of the most beautiful weekends in his life behind.

 

 

Even (17:33):

Miss you <3

 

Isak (17:34):

Miss you too <3


	19. More than alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks for all the Kudos and Comments! I really appreciate it! <3

  

**Sunday, 30.10.**

 

 

Even (21:12):

I like your bed

 

Isak (21:13):

Better than yours?

 

Even (21:13):

I think so

Altough I don’t know how I like mine with you in it yet :)

 

Isak (21:14):

:)

yet

 

Even (21:14):

Mhm

I thought you could come over sometime next week

To check it out ;)

 

Isak (21:15):

I can do that :)

 

Even (21:15):

<3

My mum is nagging me about you

 

Isak (21:16):

Oh, she knows about me?

 

Even (21:16):

After I disappeared the whole weekend she figured out

that there have to be someone special behind this ;)

I hope it’s okay I told her…

 

Isak (21:17):

Special huh?

 

Isak (21:17):

And told her what?

 

Even (21:17):

Yes

 

Even (21:18):

About this amazing boy I met <3

 

Even (21:18):

Who kept me warm the whole weekend

 

Isak (21:18):

He really sounds special, you should introduce me

 

Even (21:19):

I will, but be warned, I’m not good in sharing ;)

 

Isak (21:19):

You don’t have to

 

Even (21:19):

<3

 

Isak (21:20):

I don’t like my bed, it’s cold

 

Even (21:20):

Miss me? ;)

 

Isak (21:20):

Uhm yes

 

Isak (21:21):

I was always perfectly fine with it

 

Isak (21:21):

And then I met you

 

Even (21:21):

Me? Your personal heater?

 

Isak (21:22):

Something like that ;)

 

Even (21:22):

I’ll be back soon :)

 

Isak (21:23):

When?

 

Even (21:23):

Whenever you want

 

Isak (21:23):

Good

 

Even (21:24):

Shouldn’t you do stuff for school?

I’m sorry if I’m distracting you

 

Isak (21:24):

It’s alright

I prefer texting with you

 

Even (21:24):

You sure?

 

Isak (21:25):

Yeah, don’t worry

I can’t concentrate anyway

 

Even (21:25):

How so?

Everything alright?

 

Isak (21:25):

Yes. Yes, everything is fine

 

Isak (21:25):

Just thinking about stuff

 

Even (21:26):

Stuff?

 

Isak (21:26):

Yeah…

Like you

 

Even (21:26):

Good or bad?

 

Isak (21:27):

More good

 

Even (21:27):

But also bad?

 

Isak (21:27):

Not specifically, no

 

Isak (21:28):

Just trying to process everything I think

 

Isak (21:28):

A lot happened

 

Even (21:28):

Yeah that’s true

 

Even (21:29):

Something you want to talk about?

 

Isak (21:29):

I don’t know

 

Isak (21:30):

But there is something I’m curious about

 

Even (21:30):

You can ask me everything you want Isak :)

 

Isak (21:30):

Okay

 

Isak (21:31):

Uhm… Why did you break up with Sonja?

 

Even (21:34):

Because we kind of lived apart… 

She was very controlling towards the end and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I was unhappy in this relationship for a long time when I think back now…

And I think so was she… It was the best for both of us, I’m sure.

 

Even (21:35):

There also was this special boy I got to know.

I think he was the one who opened my eyes for what I want…

 

Isak (21:37):

And what do you want?

 

Even (21:38):

This special boy who keeps me warm

 

Isak (21:38):

:)

 

Isak (21:38):

Thanks for telling me.

I really needed to know I’m sorry

 

Even (21:39):

Of course! Don’t be sorry, I think it’s important we talk about these things…

 

Isak (21:39):

Okay, I think so too

 

Isak (21:41):

Have you been in contact with Sonja after you broke up?

 

Even (21:43):

Yeah, we text sometimes but not much.

I think maybe there will be a time when we could be friends...

But for now we both need space.

 

Isak (21:43):

Sounds logical

 

Isak (21:44):

Does she know about me…?

 

Even (21:44):

Yes, I told her about you and the experiment

 

Isak (21:45):

Okay, so does she know about this?

 

Even (21:46):

About us? Hm, yes I think so.

She definitely thought there was something between us

Especially when I broke up with her

 

Even (21:47):

But I think she is okay with it. She is surely not happy but okay.

 

Isak (21:47):

Yeah…

 

Even (21:50):

You know this thing between Sonja and me is…

We were very young when we got together.

And we had a really good time but we became just too used to each other.

The feelings weren’t the same anymore. For both of us…

 

Even (21:51):

No, the feelings definitely weren’t the same anymore for a long time

 

Isak (21:52):

Okay. So are you alright?

 

Even (21:52):

I’m more than alright Isak! :)

 

Even (21:53):

Especially bc of you

 

Isak (21:53):

<3

 

Isak (21:53):

Good to hear, I’m glad you’re alright now

 

Even (21:55):

Thank you <3

 

Even (21:55):

You alright?

 

Isak (21:55):

Yes :)

 

Isak (21:56):

Eskild loves you btw

 

Isak (21:56):

I think he is going to try to steal you

 

Even (21:56):

Haha I like him too

 

Even (21:57):

But no way I let him steal me from you

 

Even (21:57):

You’re so much hotter ;)

 

Isak (21:58):

… Shut up

 

Even (21:58):

It’s true!

 

Even (21:58):

You really need to get used to it!

 

Isak (21:59):

Come here

 

Even (22:00):

Isak, I’m already in bed

And you still have stuff for school to do!

 

Isak (22:01):

Fuck school

 

Isak (22:01):

And fuck your bed

 

Even (22:02):

Jesus, I’m trying to be responsible here!

 

Even (22:02):

But yes, fuck my bed

 

Isak (22:02):

Coming?

 

Even (22:03):

It wouldn’t be right

 

Isak (22:03):

Fuck it

 

Even (22:03):

Isak…

 

Isak (22:04):

I just really need to kiss you

 

Isak (22:04):

And I’m freezing, do you want me to freeze to death?

 

Even (22:05):

You’re trying to kill me

 

Isak (22:06):

No, I’m just trying to get your lame ass here so I can kiss you

Besides you said whenever I want… so ;)

 

Even (22:06):

I really, really want to kiss you too

 

Even (22:07):

I did, didn’t I…

 

Isak (22:07):

Than come here baby

 

Even (22:07):

Jesus

 

Even (22:08):

What are you doing with me?!

 

Isak (22:09):

Trying to convince you to sleep in my arms tonight

 

Even (22:11):

OKAY

 

Even (22:11):

Fuck it

 

Even (22:11):

I was already convinced after you texted you want to kiss me

 

Isak (22:12):

So you’re coming?

 

Even (22:12):

On my way baby <3

 

Isak (22:12):

:) :)

 

Isak (22:14):

I’m waiting <3

 

 


	20. How?

**Monday, 31.10.**

**13:04**

This morning Isak went with Even together to school since he had spent the night at his place. They had been late so they just parted with a warm smile and sparkling looks and then run for their classes.

Isak hadn’t thought before school how the situation with Even would be in public. Too occupied in the bubble of touches, kisses and laughs they have spent their weekend in. The reality of life had overtaken him in his classes already as he recognized he hadn’t done a thing for school.

And now he was sitting here with his boys in the cafeteria, without clue what he should do now. Should he tell them? Isak could hardly believe it for himself. How should he tell them anyways? Wasn’t it too early?

He and Even had briefly talked about Isak not being out yet and Even – beautiful as he is – had told Isak he should take as much time as he need. It was everything still new and yeah, a lot. In the good way. But Isak asked himself how he was able to not touch Even after they spent the last three nights making out in Isak’s bed.

Isak was afraid, he really was. He was afraid of their reactions, like they would use some ugly words or ask him awkward questions. Where his friends like this? Jonas probably not, Jonas was Jonas, his best friend who would fight everyone who tried to harm him.

But Madhi and Magnus? What would they say?

He watched his friends over his sandwich, one by one. Trying to figure out their mood today and recalling things they had said about homosexuality. But he stayed as clueless as before and hoped they wouldn’t start to talk about the party or Even.

_Haha you wish Isak._

“Fuck the party was wild on Friday guys! The chicks were wild, I tell you!” Said Magnus with a full mouth.

“But not for you, man.” Grinned Madhi teasingly.

“Huh?! I almost hooked up with Vilde. She wanted me, I’m sure!”

“Maybe it was imagination Mags.” Teased Jonas and took a bite from his apple.

“What?! I have game, believe it or not. I have more game than any of you! You will see!”

Jonas, Madhi and Isak exchanged looks and started to laugh. And Magnus just groaned and glared at them annoyed. He swallowed his bite and throw his sandwich on the table.

“Fuck all of you! Just because you two hooked up with someone doesn’t mean you have to be rude now.” Said Magnus pointedly to Jonas and Madhi, then he looked to Isak, “And what are you laughing at? So far as I know you didn’t hook up with anyone.”

Isak just laughed and shrugged his shoulders. When the boys had asked him in their group chat where he had been Isak just had written ‘home’ and they hadn’t asked further. They probably thought he had been drunk out of his mind or something.

 

   


Even (13:11):

Are you in the cafeteria? :)

 

Isak (13:11):

Yes, join us?

 

Even (13:11):

Will be there in five <3

 

Isak  (13:12):

<3

 

   


“We aren’t rude Mags, we just try to protect you. Maybe Vilde isn’t interested at all but who knows. Just ask her out finally.”

Jonas clapped pouting Magnus on the shoulder. Typical Jonas, always so fucking kind when he is on ‘serious talking’, Isak fucking loved his best friend.

“Yeah, ask her out bro!” Hurried Madhi to say.

“I already did. Yesterday.” Sighed Magnus. “She said she doesn’t have the time now but I should give her a couple of weeks and she will go out with me.”

“That’s good Mags! Don’t give up, you just have to be patient.” Jonas smiled.

“I guess I have…” sighed Magnus again but suddenly his expression changed and he started laughing. “By the way, Vilde told me about a hilarious rumour!” He turned his eyes to look at Isak. “It’s about you, man.”

Isak just furrowed his brows in question so Magnus would continue talking. Although he wasn’t sure he was ready for what may come now. He had this idea what this was about.

_Shit._

“There is this rumour some first years were talking about at the party on Friday. Apparently some of them had seen you making out with a guy outside.” Magnus tipped his head backwards, laughing hard. “Hilarious!”

And Isak was frozen, mind blank, no idea what to say now. He had seen it coming but to be he hadn’t thought he would be confronted with it so quickly. What should he do now?

He let his eyes travel from the still laughing Magnus to Madhi who was grinning as well and then further to Jonas. Jonas was watching him with raised brows in question. Fuck, these long years of friendship.  He knew Isak too well and could always read when there was something on Isak’s mind.

Isak averted his eyes, he was suddenly aware that Even was going to come. And he really needed his comfort, sure they had seen each other a couple of hours ago. But damn, Isak longed for his touch, he felt like starving. Also when all he could get was a small hand squeeze or bumping shoulders.

_Fuck it._

He cleared his throat and tried to look as calm as he could manage when he turned his head to Magnus.

“It’s true.”

It went quiet, the grin on Magnus face disappeared as he stared at Isak and Isak stared back. Not willing to show any emotions. He tried to handle this cool, it was no big deal. Right?!

Magnus seemed to waken up out of his stare. “What??”

Isak rolled his eyes, “I hooked up with a guy that night.”

Madhi and Jonas stared at him, questions written all over their faces. Magnus mouth was agape and he was practically staring holes into Isak’s head.

“With who?” Madhi asked curiously.

“Uhm, Even.” Shrugged Isak and took a sip from his Fanta.

At this Magnus almost fell from the chair. “WHAT?” He turned to face the others and pointed with his finger on Isak. “He is fucking with us right?”

But he didn’t seem to be convinced as he looked back at Iask and didn’t find a joke in his expression. Isak just stared back at him with the best ‘nobigdeal’ face he could manage.

Then Jonas begun to laugh hard, “Now you know who has more game than any of us Mags.”

Isak grinned at him, a silent thanks in his eyes, which Jonas for sure would catch. And he did as he smiled silently and somehow admiring back. Isak really wanted to hug the world right now. He felt fucking light, light like a fucking feather.

“Fucking hell, how did you manage that Isak? I mean he is so hot!” Magnus asked, eyes big like the paper plate in front of him.

“He really is…” Confirmed Madhi grinning and Isak grinned back.

“Wait! Are you gay?” Asked Magnus confused.

Isak shrugged at before he could answer, Even approached them and set down on the free chair next to him.

“Hey guys.” Even chirped as he let his backpack fall to the floor.

His friends went silent and watched Even with curiosity in their eyes. Even looked confused as he was met by silence and glaring eyes from Isak’s friends.

His mouth opened in the purpose to say something but it turned into a grin as his eyes wandered over each of their faces. As his eyes met Isak’s there was this silent question and Isak just smiled shyly, feeling redness climb up his cheeks under Even’s sea blue eyes.

Even started to laugh, “Fuck you told them, didn’t you?” Isak nodded once and couldn’t fight back his grin as he saw Even beaming at him. He melted at this sight, how could someone be this beautiful? And how could someone this beautiful want to kiss him? And like him? _How?_

“Damn…” Was all Even said but under the table he softly knocked his knee against Isak’s.

For a short moment it felt like they were the only ones in the room, both lost in each other eyes, smiling softly, asking silent questions. ‘You okay’ Even’s eyes asked, ‘I am, you are here’ Isak’s eyes answered.

“Why? How?” Magnus interrupted their exchange from across the table. The expression of unbelieve still written all over his face.

Even looked at him in question, “What do you mean?”

“Why Isak? You could have anyone you want!”

Isak looked at Magnus in annoyance. This guy had no filter. He then also noticed Jonas staring curious at Even, piercing him with a warning look. Isak couldn’t differently than roll his eyes about his friends. Although he knew that Magnus question wasn’t meant really protectable. _Or was it?_

“Because he is hot.” Answered Even expressionless.

Isak couldn’t hold back his snort but he also couldn’t hold back the grin which appeared on his face. 

Then Even grinned mischievously.  


“He is also a very good kisser, so …” He went on.

And by now Isak burst out laughing, Magnus face was too funny to watch. His mouth so wide agape, Isak feared his jaw could fall on the table any moment.

_Serves you right._

“So, is this a thing now or…?” Jonas interrupted Isak’s outburst.

Isak shot Jonas a warning look but his best friend ignored him, still staring at Even, waiting for his answer. They hadn’t talked about this yet. And Isak was glad somehow, it was still new for both of them.

Even searched for his eyes and smiled warmly as their gazes met. Isak couldn’t hide his blush when Even winked at him and turned back to Jonas.

“Something like that maybe, we’ll go on a date this week so…”

“A date?” Magnus asked unbelievingly.

“Yes, after we hooked up I begged Isak to go on a date with me the next day.” Answered Even, winking again at Isak.

And Isak rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement as Jonas turned his questioning look towards him.

“That’s unbelievable! I can’t believe this! I mean, Isak of us all.”

“Huh?” Isak glared at Magnus.

“It’s true! You’re the grumpiest, how the fuck did you manage to get a date with this Hottie?”

Isak could see Even smirking and watching him out of the corner of his eyes. So he sneaked his hand under the table – or he thought it was under the table but he couldn’t care less right now –and squeezed Even’s hand. Stroking his knuckles lovingly, finally feeling the warmth of his skin against his.

Then he raised his eyebrows at Magnus and turned to look at Even, “He has good taste, I guess.” Grinned Isak and Even eyes sparkled and crinkled as he grinned back.

“Ugh, you guys are gross already!”

 


	21. A thing

 

**Monday, 31.10.**

 

  **16:01**

“So is it a real thing between you and Even?”

Isak and Jonas were walking over the country yard after school. For Isak it was still unreal, he had told the boys. Also when he didn’t ‘really’ come out to them, he had just said he and Even have a thing. That he really was gay, haven’t been named but it wasn’t important. His friend’s reactions were easy and in no way like he had thought it would be. He felt so light and happy he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Uhm, yeah I hope so.”

“You don’t know?”

“Yes, I mean… We aren’t official, like it just happened but he told me it’s serious for him.”

Jonas bumped his shoulder as they walked further, a grin spread over his face. “I’m happy for you man,” he smiled. “Aaaaand what precisely happened?”

Isak looked quickly at Jonas who was winking and wiggling with his eyebrows and he could feel how he started blushing.

“Jooonas!”

“What?” Defended Jonas, still grinning.

“Stop it!”

“What? Even and you just blurted out this gigantic news and you don’t want to tell me anything? Like what the fuck Bro?”

Jonas wasn’t mad but at his words Isak felt guilty. He hadn’t told Jonas a thing that was true. They used to tell each other everything.

Isak rolled his eyes but smiled at his best friend.

“Gigantic news, huh?”

“Yeah??” Demanded Jonas, “I mean it was about time for you to start dating someone. For real. You deserve this.”

Isak was little bit taken aback by Jonas playfully said but earnestly meant words. It showed that his friend seemed to have been worried. And another hint of guilt swept over Isak as he recognized this.

He nudged Jonas shoulder, “Thanks Bro.”

Jonas just nodded, curiosity written all over his face. “Are you going to tell me something?”

“Uhm. What do you want to know?”

“Like what happened? I mean when I think back it wasn’t to miss that there was more between you two…”

_What?!_

“Wait. What? What do you mean?” Asked Isak with wide eyes.

“I just remembered how he looked at you when we were at the party. And also you two were suddenly gone so… And if you think I haven’t noticed how you grinned when you got a message, than you are more than wrong.” Jonas observed.

Isak looked at him irritated, speechless about his friend’s watchfulness. But Jonas just went on as they walked down the street.

“So what happened? He did kiss you that night right?”

A warm smile spread over Isak’s face as he thought back how he had run after Even down the dark street. “Actually no, I did.”

Jonas turned his head surprised, “You?”

“Why are you so surprised? I have game!” Isak said, pretending he was offended by his words.

“Cleary you have”, Laughed Jonas. “But you were drunk and high, Isak. Maybe your courage came from that.”

“Fuck you. But yeah, I was so wasted first. BUT I wasn’t that wasted when I kissed him. It was more out of the moment you know.”

“No I don’t?” Said Jonas, eyebrows raised.

“I just, uhm, we were talking about stuff and he said some things and just stood up and went away, so I followed him and kissed him. Uhm yeah.”

“And then you went home with him?” Grinned Jonas.

“Yes, we went to my place.”

“And?”

“What?” Redness started to climb Isak’s checks as he noticed Jonas wiggling eyebrows again. “Oh uhm. Nothing happened Jonas! We just made out.”

“Okay.” Smirked Jonas but it seemed like he didn’t believe Isak a word.

“Really. We-- I don’t know. Uhm. I think we just want to start this right… Or like slowly maybe…”

Isak stuttered.

“That’s good.”

_Yes._

They smiled at each other and Isak felt actually good to share this with his best friend. They walked in silence for a while until they reached McDonald’s. After they went for their food, they settled down to a small table in the corner and started to eat.

There was a thoughtful expression Isak could make out on Jonas face. So he raised his eyebrows in question and Jonas smiled in answer before he opened his mouth to talk.

“You are alright…?”

Isak was confused for a second but then he got what Jonas meant. It seemed like Jonas had known that Isak wasn’t straight. Or maybe he had a notion in the past. And today Isak had told them that he has a thing with a guy. Isak understood what he meant with this question, but he had no clue how to answer that. He didn’t have much time to think about the events of the day yet. So he tried to focus on his feelings. And it felt as if fucking sparks were erupting in his chest.

“Yeah. I mean… Yes I’m alright. It’s just--  Everything is so new and also scary but it feels right…” He tried.

Jonas was clearly relieved and understood what Isak had meant by that. “Good, okay. You seem happy, I’m proud of you Bro! And I’m here, to talk, whenever.”

Isak nodded, smiling, gratefulness in his eyes, sure Jonas would see. “Thanks, I’m here too.”

They ate in silence for a while, both occupied with their own thoughts. Isak was smiling to himself, who have had thought he would be this happy on a Monday. And who had thought he would come out to his friends with the most beautiful boy by his side. Unbelievable.

“With whom did you hook up on Friday? Was it Lina uhm Lena? What’s her name again? Lea?” Isak asked grinning between bites.

Jonas shock his head in disbelieve, smirk on his mouth. “Brooo! That was like months ago! No that was another girl. I was a little bit drunk and I would have forgotten about it when she hadn’t texted me the next day and-- “

“Bro, you were like fucking wasted that night!”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Uhm jaa?!”

“Whatever.”

“So, about that girl?”

 

-

 

Even (22:56):

Okay I don’t like it like this

 

Isak (22:58):

What is it? Are you alright?

 

Even (22:58):

No, I miss you.

 

Isak (22:59):

Haha I was scared for a moment.

I miss you too <3

 

Even (23:00):

You should be.

Because I like really miss you.

 

Isak (23:00):

Really miss me?

 

Even (23:01):

Really, really miss you

 

Even (23:02):

My whole body aches bc I miss you so much.

Every single cell hurts bc I miss you baby :(

 

Isak (23:02):

You’re cheesy <3

 

Even (23:03):

What? Don’t you see how seriously in pain I am?!

 

Isak (23:03):

I’m sorry <3

Tomorrow we’ll sleep in the same bed again okay?

 

Even (23:04):

Good.

 

Isak (23:04):

And as sooner we sleep now the sooner we see each other again :)

 

Even (23:04):

Okay :)

 

Isak (23:05):

I’ll wait for you in school behind the stairs in the basement at 08:15 baby <3

 

Even (23:05):

Uh dirty

 

Isak (23:06):

Haha shut up :D

 

Even (23:06):

I think I’ll be there ;)

 

Isak (23:06):

You think???

 

Even (23:07):

I mean who knows if I’m going to survive this night

 

Even (23:07):

Might as well die bc I miss you so much

 

Isak (23:08):

You’re a dork :D

 

Even (23:08):

Luckily you like me ;)

 

Isak (23:08):

I do <3

 

Even (23:09):

Good, because I do too.

 

Even (23:09):

Sweet dreams baby <3

 

Isak (23:09):

Sweet dreams <3

 

-

 

**Tuesday, 01.11.**

 

**15:16**

When Isak walked to his locker after his last class in the afternoon, he was surprised to not find Even there but a note shoved into his locker. He frowned when he folded it apart but started to grin widely as he recognized from who it was.

 

_Dear Isak,_

_Meet me on your doorstep at 20:00 – yes I’ll pick you up like the gentleman I am – and after I kissed you, I’m going to lead us the way to our date location._

_Yes date. You promised. And I promise it’s going to blow off your feet._ _So be there and no worries, you don’t need to wear a tie._

_Love, Even_

_P.S.: We’re going to dine together ;)_

_P.P.S.: You looked pretty today_

 

-

 

**20:14**

“Where are we going?”

“Isak, you need to be patient. Have you ever heard of surprises?”

“Ugh.”

They were walking down the street and Isak started to be impatient. After he had received Even’s invitation for the date he had been so nervous that he annoyed Eskild with his bouncing and running around the flat in frustration. ‘When it’s going to be every time like this, I’ll think about moving out’ Eskild had warned him as Isak had tried to find something to wear in Eskild’s wardrobe and had made a mess.

Yes he was fucking nervous. In the end he haven’t had enough time to find something more posh than a grey bottom up shirt and his tight, black jeans. But it seemed to be enough because Even had stared at him with wide eyes for like five minutes after he had opened the front door.

So now they were walking and Even was leading the way to an entry from what seemed to be an apartment building.

“Eeeeven! Why are we going inside of this building?”

But Even just shook his head, smiling, and guided the way up the stairwell. Isak groaned but fallowed him anyways. When Even lead the way to an entry door, Isak was more than confused.

_What the hell?!_

“Even, who lives here? Wh-- ? “

But Even cut him off with his lips as he pressed a firm kiss on his mouth. Isak stumbled back but Even steadied him with his hands on his waste. After some small pecks around his face, Even pressed his forehead against Isak’s.

“I’m nervous…”

Isak’s expression was probably more confused than before because Even smiled fondly and started to kiss him again all over his face. But Isak pulled away, so he could look into his eyes.

“Nervous?? Why?”

Even grinned, “You’re so cute when you’re confused like that.”

Isak groaned and rolled his eyes in pretended annoyance. As if Even didn’t know what a fucking tease he was being right now.

“Where are we?”

“Okay”, Even took a deep breath and looked at Isak with concern in his eyes. “Okay… I hope you like it and uhm I live here.”

_Huh?!_

With that he turned around and unbarred the entry door and waved him inside.

“Just fallow the lights. We are alone, no worries.”

Isak was about to reply but than Even had closed the front door and they stood in the dark. Okay, almost in the dark because than he saw that there were lightened candles showing the way down the hall.

He slowly followed the lights, Even directly behind him with a hand on his waste. As he walked around the corner he stood in a cozy living room, where a table was set in the middle of the room. The room was dunked in warm light and soft music was playing in the background.

Isak was speechless, he had thought about a date in a restaurant but in no way something like that. Something that romantic.

Even cleared his throat behind him, “Uhm, yeah. I hope it’s alright. Probably too much I know. But uhm I cooked us something.”

Isak turned around and was met by Even’s questioning eyes. He was kneading his hands and looking away from Isak’s gaze after a while.

“You-- You…” Isak was speechless.

_When you say I’m cute, what are you then?_

He took Even’s hands in his and squeezed them tightly. Even seemed to calm down a bit and smiled shyly.

“…Thank you.” Isak finally croaked out and turned back to face the table. It was so sweet, he couldn’t remember someone doing something this sweet for him. Probably no one ever has. Damn.

He grabbed Even’s hand behind him and pulled him to the table. “Okay, feed me. I’m starving.”

_For you…_

 

-

 

“By the way, I hate you.” Said Isak with a full mouth.

_No, I definitely don’t._

Even laughed, “At least you like my lasagna.”

They were sitting at the table and Isak was about to shove the second plate of lasagna into his mouth. No it wasn’t enough that Even was kind, cute, sexy and charming. No, he was also a fucking chef.

Isak rolled his eyes and swallowed, “No, I mean it. No tie?? I thought you’re going to take me out into a noble restaurant or some shit.”

“Are you disappointed?” Asked Even worried.

“God no! But I was like messing Eskild’s wardrobe to find something appropriate to wear. I could have just worn a shirt with a hoodie.”

Even smirked, “No. I’m glad, you look fucking hot tonight. It was worth it.”

_Is this real?_

 

-

 

“Baby?”

“Hm?”

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

“What is this even for a question? Of course you’re sleeping in my bed tonight. There is no way I’m sleeping without you. After all you have done for me …”

“Yeah?”

“Yes Even!”

“Okay.”

“I loved your lasagna.”

“I’m glad.”

“Thank you.”

“I have to thank you.”

 

-

 

“Baby?”

“Hm?”

“Kiss me.”

  

-

 

**Thursday, 03.11.**

**10:10**

Isak was the happiest. He really was. He had this warm feeling in his chest that wouldn’t leave. His mouth was grinning more than it ever had. And he felt more comfortable than he had believed he would feel after coming out.

He hurried to his biology class with puffy, red lips from kissing Even down in the basement. That was starting to be their morning ritual when they spent separated nights, until Isak was feeling brave enough to kiss Even in the school hallway or outside in the yard.

“Hey.” Isak greeted Sana, his biology partner and friend, as he entered the classroom a little bit out of breath.

She raised her eyebrows, smirking. “Hi.”

He set down and started to pull out his stuff out of his beg, aware of Sana’s eyes on him.

“Sooo… What’s the deal with that?” She asked and pointed with her finger on Isak’s probably flushed face.

“Huh?”

Sana rolled her eyes, knowing that he was playing dumb. “You and Even hm?”

It was no surprise that she knew it, Sana knew everything. And with the rumours, which were going around in school about him kissing a guy, probably new everyone it. He just hadn’t confirmed it. Also he hadn’t planned to do so, he was going to do it spontaneous, like kissing Even in front of everyone or something. That was enough.

A smile spread over his face. “Yeah, I think so…”

“Damn, you are like a love-sick puppy.” She said annoyed, followed by a small grin.

Isak just rolled his eyes at her but his face was probably almost as red as the snapback on his head. She just started to grin more as he turned to hide his blush.

“You look cute together.” She said.

He looked at her surprised and was met by a warm smile which quickly turned into a severe expression. And he almost wondered.

“But that doesn’t mean you can start being lazy and letting me do all of the work for you. A boyfriend is no excuse.”

“He is not my boyfriend…” mumbled Isak.

“Yet.”

“Yet.” Isak agreed and hoped quietly. “Don’t worry Sanasol, I won’t let you down.” He said winking and Sana just shook her head.

 

-

 

Even (11:44):

Baby

 

Isak (11:46):

Yes?

 

Even (11:46):

What are you doing tonight?

 

Isak (11:47):

Uhm, don’t you want to come to my place?

 

Even (11:47):

I do

 

Isak (11:48):

Good, why are you asking?

 

Even (11:50):

There is just something I want to tell you tonight

 

Isak (11:50):

Okay…?

 

Even (11:50):

Don’t worry baby <3

 

Isak (11:51):

If you say so

 

Even (11:52):

I do, enjoy your lesson.

See you in a bit <3

 

Isak (11:53):

Can we meet in the bathroom pls

 

Even (11:53):

Miss me?

 

Isak (11:54):

Always

 

 


	22. Want to keep you

 

**Thursday, 03.11.**

 

**18:58**

“I think I want to keep you.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You can keep me, baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 

-

 

**18:18**

Even wasn’t sure how he should feel right now. His emotions started to mix up, he felt guilty because he hadn’t told Isak he was Bipolar yet, he felt happy because Isak was lying in his arms and he felt confused, angry, gutless, light and heavy at the same time.

He couldn’t control himself when he touched this boy, his brain shut down and his thoughts were blurry. And now he was mostly confused and kind of helpless. That was the effect Isak had on him. He couldn’t fucking think.

It was time to tell him.

But how? What would happen? Would Isak still want him? What if he would hate him? Even would understand but he was afraid. He was fucking afraid Isak would leave him.

At the same time, the last thing he wanted to do, was to start a relationship without telling Isak this dark part of himself. But Even was a scared and not brave enough when he saw Isak’s peaceful smile as he lay in his arms, eyes closed. Even would be the reason for this smile to disappear.

He couldn’t.

Isak’s fingers were stroking his skin in the softest way. His chest, shoulders, collarbone and neck. It was the most beautiful think ever to feel his skin burn under Isak’s touch. He was so gone. So fucking gone.

_Isak, Isak, Isak, Isak_

He felt Isak’s fingers moving up to his jawline, tracing the bone to his chin and moving slowly up, circling his lips. Even couldn’t stop his smile and also couldn’t resist looking down at Isak to see his sparkling, green eyes following his wandering fingers.

_He is all I want._

“What is--  What are we Even?” Isak cleared his throat and looked up to meet Even’s eyes.

And Even was kind of screaming inside because this boy was so beautiful and of course he wanted to know what this was. Of course he would ask. Even had been too concerned about the way to tell Isak he is Bipolar to not recognize the question in Isak’s eyes every time he looked at him today.

The same question was written all over his face now, eyes tender but Even could also make out anxiety. He also could tell that it must have cost Isak a lot of courage to finally ask. And Even wanted nothing more as to see Isak’s green eyes spark again.

He was too weak to tell Isak the truth about himself. Too weak and an idiot.

So he smiled, took Isak’s fingers into his hand and kissed them softly, “What do you want us to be?”

“Uhm… I--  I… You know what I want”, Isak stuttered.

“And you know what I want.”

“I think?”

Even smiled and put his hands onto Isak’s face, searching his eyes.  “You.”

Isak’s eyes were glued on his, wide and sparkling again. His beautiful mouth whispering “me” and Even’s butterfly’s in his stomach were about to go crazy. He watched how realization washed over Isak’s face and how his mouth turned into a wide grin.

“So… you and me then?” Isak whispered.

And Even just couldn’t destroy this lucky moment, he just couldn’t. This boy was everything Even wanted and now it was about to be official between them. Isak was his dream. It wasn’t wrong to chase dreams right?

_Right?!_

“You and me then.” Even answered grinning widely, wetting his lips with his tongue before pressing their lips together.

Isak whimpered into the kiss and pressed his body against Even. It was an intimate kiss, full of affection, promises and happiness. It was the official beginning of their relationship after all.

Relationship. With Isak. Bloody hell. Even had dreamt to call Isak his boyfriend for so long. It was real now. Isak liked him. He liked him that much that he wanted to be with him. How?

 

After some time they broke the kiss to catch their breaths and looked into each other’s eyes. Isak started smiling first and seeing Isak this happy and knowing he was the reason for this meant everything for Even.

Everything.

He pulled his boy - HIS boy - into a tight hug, one hand in Isak’s hair and the other around his waist. Isak started to cover his neck with small, light kisses and it was the sweetest thing ever.

“Can I call you boyfriend now?” Isak mumbled between kisses into his neck.

“You can call me whatever you want. I’m all yours.”

Isak laughed, “You are so cheesy, oh my god.”

“It’s your fault.” Said Even and pressed a kiss into Isak’s curly hair.

“So… Edward or Emil?”

“Huh?”

Even pulled away and Isak started laughing. “You said I can call you whatever I want.”

“Yeah but I thought you wanted to call me cute things. Like darling, sweetheart, my knight, mi amor or something.”

Isak laughed, “My knight?!”

“Mhm. As long it’s not another name, I mean you’re mine now. It would make me paranoid when you would call me other names, like from other guys or something.”

Isak raised his eyebrows smirking, one of his hands sneaked around Even’s hip. “Oi. I was just kidding baby, don’t be afraid. I’m all yours.” He winked.

_Mine._

Even let out a sign and pulled Isak back into his arms. “The only name I would accept for you to call me is Romeo.” He mumbled into his hair.

Isak let out a surprised laugh, “You are such a nerd, Even.”

“You still like me.”

Isak just grunted approving and cuddled deeper into Even’s neck.

_Even, you are such an idiot. It will all come back to you…_

 

-

 

**18:42**

“Wait. What do you wanted to talk about?”

Isak pulled out of Even’s embrace, set up and looked worried down at Even. And Even’s heart squeezed while he tried hard to hold his smile on his lips.

“Uhm. I--  Nothing important, Baby.”

_Fuck you Even!_

“What was it? Everything okay?”

“Uhm. Yeah. Of course.” Even stuttered but steadied his voice quickly and smiled. “You are my boyfriend now, I really am the happiest baby. You make me so happy…”

Isak’s mouth turned into a soft smile, “You make me happy too.” But he furrowed his eyebrows, still confused and Even knew Isak wouldn’t budge until Even gave him something.

“Uhm. Actually. I know it’s early and everything…” Even bit his lips and continued. “But my mum really wants to meet you… That is--  You don’t have to of course but… Yeah…”

_Idiot!_

Even looked up to meet Isak’s eyes, sparkling again but he could made out a nervous expression washing over his face. He was so dumb. Except of telling him the truth, he stressed Isak with meeting his parents after they were together for like ten minutes.

At least he hadn’t lie, his mum  really was asking about Isak and she really wanted to meet him. Actually she wasn’t talking about anything else. And was asking him questions about Isak’s favourite meal and if he liked chocolate cake so she could bake one for his visit. She even asked if Isak wanted to have kids someday. Like what the fuck.

“Uhm. Okay. I--  Yeah, why not…” Said Isak with a high-pitched voice and added. “I mean of course Even. Of course I want to meet your family and everything. I still don’t know your friends…”

“You could meet my friends too soon. But you really don’t have to meet my mum already, I would understand.”

“No, no. I would love to meet her.” Smiled Isak and took Even’s hand into his to underline his words.

Even nodded, “Okay, I’ll speak with her. Maybe sometime next week?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Okay.” Even watched Isak fascinated – how could this be real – before he lifted his head. “Kiss me.”

They kissed and Even forget about everything, his mind shut down as soon as Isak’s lips his. It was magical, Isak was magical.

At least he didn’t hate himself in this moment but he knew as soon as they would stop kissing, the guilt would start to eat him alive.

 

-

 

Isak (19:06):

I have a boyfriend now.

 

Magnus (19:07):

yEEES

 

Magnus (19:07):

Kdsjafgdjg

 

Magnus (19:07):

But weren’t you two already together?

 

Magnus (19:08):

I mean after I caught you making out behind the stairs

 

Isak (19:08):

No?!

 

Isak (19:08):

And that was fucking creepy Mags

What the fuck were you doing in the schools basement??!

 

Madhi (19:09):

Niiice, you two look good together! <3

 

Madhi (19:09):

Maybe he is hiding his porno magazines somewhere in the basement

 

Jonas (19:10):

Yeah, to wank after classes with Vilde.

 

Jonas (19:10):

Wooah, happy for you bro! You deserved it <3

 

Isak (19:11):

When I think back he seemed to be kind of out of breath…

 

Isak (19:11):

Takk <3

 

Magnus (19:11):

Fuck you guys!

 

Madhi (19:11):

Don’t worry, Isak can teach you how to get your girl now

 

Magnus (19:12):

But Isak is gay, isn’t it easier to hook up with guys?

 

Jonas (19:12):

Broooo

 

Magnus (19:12):

What?

 

Jonas (19:12):

Why should it be easier?

 

Magnus (19:13):

Because guys are easier to read?

 

Magnus (19:13):

I mean, every guy wants sex

But girls want more, like presents and expensive dinners

 

Jonas (19:13):

Wtf bro

 

Jonas (19:14):

You can’t say something like that, that’s generalization

 

Isak (19:14):

It’s not easier

 

Madhi (19:14):

Everyone is different

 

Magnus (19:15):

Yeah but you could just go to a guy and say “Yo want some sex” and they would say yes right away

 

Magnus (19:15):

Girls would freak out

 

Jonas (19:15):

What?! No!

 

Isak (19:16):

It’s from person to person different, Mags. That has nothing to do with gender.

 

Magnus (19:16):

But like how, you and Even got together quite quickly?

 

Isak (19:17):

Fuck no

 

Isak (19:17):

I mean after we met but we were already writing for weeks

 

Jonas (19:17):

Got game bro

 

Isak (19:17):

;)

 

Isak (19:18):

His mum wants to meet me

 

Jonas (19:18):

What?! You just got together?

 

Madhi (19:18):

Sounds like stress

 

Magnus (19:18):

Woah

 

Magnus (19:19):

And next week he will like ask you if you want to marry him

 

Magnus (19:19):

I bet he would sing for you and do something crazy romantic

 

Magnus (19:19):

Like your first date was

 

Isak (19:20):

Shut up Mags, he is not going to propose

 

Isak (19:20):

Jesus

 

Jonas (19:20):

Hahaha

 

Jonas (19:20):

I think Isak would be the worst groom

 

Isak (19:20):

Huh?!

 

Madhi (19:21):

Has Even a sister?

 

Magnus (19:21):

Woah I’ll be the best man then

 

Isak (19:21):

No Jonas

 

Jonas (19:21):

No me

 

Isak (19:21):

<3

 

Jonas (19:21):

<3

 

Magnus (19:22):

Mean

 

Isak (19:22):

But really tho… I’m quite nervous about meeting his mum

 

Jonas (19:22):

Of course you are. That’s normal

 

Jonas (19:22):

But it will be okay bro, promise

 

Jonas (19:23):

That belongs to relationships and you’re not alone then

 

Jonas (19:23):

You have your boy now ;)

 

Magnus (19:23):

Yeah, Even is going to protect you ;)

 

Isak (19:23):

Hm... shut up Mags 

 

Isak (19:23):

<3

 

Isak (19:24):

Speaking of which, he say’s hi

 

Magnus (19:24):

Is he with you?

 

Magnus (19:24):

How is it to have sex with a guy?

 

Magnus (19:24):

Blow jobs should be great I heard

 

Isak (19:25):

Bye

 

Madhi (19:25):

Mags…

 

Madhi (19:25):

And thanks, say hi back

 

Jonas (19:25):

Yes, say hi from me as well

 

Jonas (19:26):

And that I’ll break his face if he hurts you :)

 

Magnus (19:26):

Say hi and that I love him!

 

-

 

**20:02**

Even knew he wasn’t in the right place to ask this, he was hiding things from Isak after all. But he was curious and curiosity was difficult to fight sometimes.

“Isak?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Hm?”

Isak was dozing on his chest for a while now and Even had been watching him fascinated. Watching his boyfriend. It still felt unreal.

He took a deep breath, “I… just wanted to ask about your parents?”

Even felt how Isak stiffened in his arms and he immediately regretted that he had asked. Typical. How he kept to pull people out of their happiness.

_He is too good for you Even and you know it._

“You don’t have to tell me anything.” He quickly added.

Isak had gotten uncomfortable and he turned on his back with a sigh, eyes focusing on the ceiling above him.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t won’t to hide things from you…”

_What are you even doing here Even? How could you lie here in his bed?!_

“I don’t talk to my parents very much…” Isak continued, eyes still focused on the ceiling. “A lot of shit happened with my dad and--  I don’t know… Couldn’t handle my mum on my own after my dad left… So I left too.”

_Fuck._

A bad feeling started to spread in Even’s chest at Isak’s words and he had to concentrate very hard not to look panicked.

He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. “What do you mean with you couldn’t handle your mum?”

“Uhm. The thing is… I know it was wrong to leave her alone. But I just couldn’t handle her… I know that’s no excuse but--  But I couldn’t…”

Isak’s voice broke and Even’s eyes flew open. He looked at the smaller boy and the sight broke his heart. All because he can’t hold his curiosity back. All because he made everyone around him unhappy.

Isak was silently crying, he tried to hide his tears behind his hands but Even could see them sneaking their way between his hands and running down his jaw.

Even quickly set up and pulled Isak into his arms, soothing him and stroking his angelic hair.

“I’m—I’m sorry.” Isak sobbed and took view deep breaths to calm himself down.

“You don’t have to be sorry! I am, for bringing up this topic--  “

“No, please. It’s alright, don’t be sorry Even!”

_I’m sorry._

Isak turned to face him, wide, teary eyes staring at him. He looked so vulnerable and small and Even felt like crying too. One of Isak’s hands cupped his cheek while it looked like he was searching for words. Forehead furrowed in thought.

Even stroked one of Isak’s curls behind his ear and leaned in, to place a soft kiss onto his lips. “You don’t have to tell me, baby.”

_I have._

“I do.” Said Isak and let out a long breath. His hand playing with the hem of Even’s shirt.

“My mum is schizophrenic and I couldn’t help her.”

 


	23. Something from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I kind of let you down for so long! I was busy and didn't find the time for this fic.  
> In return this chapter is the longest so far. There will be mostly dialogues but I couldn't really avoid it.  
> Also I want to thank you guys. I just read some old comments and it really made my day and motivated me to write! :)   
> So... I hope you like this chapter. THANK YOU for reading and your kindness and patience towards me. <3

 

**Friday, 04.11.**

 

Isak (10:45):

Baby

 

Even <3 (10:46):

What do you need? <3

 

Isak (10:46):

Uhm you

 

Even <3 (10:46):

:) <3

 

Isak (10:47):

When can I kiss you again?

 

Even <3 (10:47):

After school? Usual spot?

 

Isak (10:47):

Ugh fine

 

Isak (10:48):

But I actually meant the kissing like we did last night.

 

Isak (10:48):

In my bed

 

Even <3 (10:48):

You’re so cute

 

Even <3 (10:49):

I’m sorry I don’t have a lot of time this weekend

 

Isak (10:49):

Not fair -_-

 

Even <3 (10:49):

I really am sorry Isak

 

Even <3 (10:49):

You’ll manage without me <3

 

Isak (10:50):

Ugh…

 

Even <3 (10:50):

Don’t be sad

 

Even <3 (10:50):

See you after school?

 

Isak (10:51):

Just if you’re going to kiss me for at least twenty minutes ;)

 

Even <3 (10:51):

Deal

 

Isak (10:51):

I’ll be there <3

 

Even <3 (10:51):

<3

 

 

-

 

**13:02**

“What are you going to do today?”

“I think I’ll chill at home or go and hang with the guys.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I have to go, baby. My mum is waiting.”

“Ugh.”

“I call you tomorrow.”

“You better do.”

“I will, promise.”

“Okay.”

“Take care, baby.”

“Mhm… Bye Even.”

 

-

 

Even (13:15):

You’re a great person, Isak <3

Just wanted you to know.

 

Isak (13:17):

Oh. Uhm thanks I guess.

You’re a great person as well.

Have a nice time with your family <3

 

-

 

**21:30**

Isak was bored. The boys and him were chilling at Madhi’s place smoking some weed. Madhi’s parents were gone for the evening and so they had seized the opportunity. All of them spread over the floor of Madhis room instead of lying on the bed or on the sofa. Thick smoke danced in front of the dim light of Madhi’s bedside lamp and the boys couldn’t stop giggling. But Isak was bored. And high.

Magnus was babbling about some girls again but Isak was just half listening. He missed Even. He missed him although they had seen each other today. And he thought what the fuck had happened to him that he couldn’t chill with his friends in peace. They were officially together for one day. One day. And he already clinged to Even that much.

He thought about last night, how they had lain in each other’s arms the whole night. And how fucking happy he had felt. Isak had a boyfriend. _Fucking hell._

“Isak! Isak!”

His thoughts were interrupted by a hand hitting his leg. He groaned and focused his eyes on Jonas who was looking at him with a mischievous grin.

“The fuck?”

“Are you that baked, bro?”

Magnus and Madhi giggled and watched Isak scowl at Jonas. When someone was fucking baked than Magnus and Madhi. Their eyes were so red it looked almost scary.

“Shut up, I’m not that baked.”

“What then?”

“He’s in love.” Magnus sing-songed, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Ugh. Shut up Mags.”

“What? You are though, look at you. One evening without Even and you are already a whiny baby.”

Jonas laughed and Isak glared daggers into their friends.

“I’m not a whiny baby, fuck you!”

“You definitely are.” Laughed Jonas and gave him the almost finished joint.

Isak just stared and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“And with that I mean, a whiny baby in love.” Told him Jonas.

The boys broke into laughter again and Isak was thinking about getting new friends. But maybe they were all just jealous. Most likely they were all starved for love and cuddles. And Isak understood. He was fucking starving as well although Even had cuddled him the whole night.

_Even._

“What?! I think I need new friends.” Isak grumbled.

_And maybe more chill._

He took a last deep drag from the joint, put it out and laid his head back down on the floor. One question was dancing in his blurred mind.

Was it that obvious? Was he in love?

 

-

 

**Saturday, 05.11.**

**12:14**

“Baby?”

Isak groaned and rubbed his hand over his eyes while sitting up in his bed. “Even?”

“Baby? Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“Ugh.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

Even though Isak was more likely a grumpy person, especially in the mornings according to Eskild, a small smile started to spread over his face as he heard Even’s voice.

It probably was the most beautiful voice in the world. A voice, Isak knew he would always love to listen to and recognize everywhere. Even’s voice. His boyfriend’s voice. Fuck, this voice had so much power over him.

_Stop being ridiculous!_

“Isak?”

“Yeah?” Isak croaked out, his own voice still drunk with sleep. He didn’t even know how late it was or when he had come home last night.

“Oh Baby. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Uh. Uhm, what time is it?”

“It’s 12:16.”

“What?! Shit.” Isak sighed and let himself fall back onto his pillow.

How high had he been last night? What was he even doing? He wanted to use the opportunity and do stuff for school. He even had planned to call Sana and ask her to learn for biology with him. But nope, not happening now. His headache was already killing him and he knew how successful he was learning with a headache. And so his plans to be an exemplary student after a long time just fall through. Great.

“Didn’t you say you wanted do school stuff today?”

“Ugh. Yeah, that was the plan.”

Even laughed at the other end of the line. “What happened? I was a little bit worried, you didn’t reply to my messages.”

“Uhm. Sorry. I – We were chilling at Madhi’s place yesterday.”

“With chilling you mean smoking?”

“Yup.”

Isak heard Even chuckle and started to think about how beautiful his laugh was too. Like the most beautiful song maybe. It was the most beautiful song. Definitly. Even was the most beautiful song.

_Damn, get your shit together._

And if he didn’t know it better, he would think he was still high. But now he was just high from Even. Bloody fucking Even high.

_Isak, you are so pathetic. Jesus._

“I see.” Isak could imagine how Even was grinning at the other end of the line right now. “So, how are you?”

“Fine. A bit of a headache.” Grumbled Isak.

Even chuckled again.

“That’s not funny! I’m in pain!”

“Oh I’m sorry you are in pain, baby. It’s just, you are so fucking cute in the mornings.”

_Oh._

“Not just in the mornings…” Isak mumbled.

“No, right. You are always cute.”

_Always cute._

“Not just cute!”

“No, also hot.”

_Hot…_

“Exactly.”

“And beautiful.”

_Not as beautiful as you are._

“Ugh.”

“And kind of funny.” He heard Even giggle.

“Wha--  I’m not funny in the mornings. Who the fuck is funny in the mornings, Even?”

“Oh it’s finally talking more than one sentence.” Even said fondly, or Isak thought it sounded fondly. He was so love starved, oh my god. “You definitely are funny in the mornings, baby. All confused and grumpy. And sometimes a little bit bossy. Cute.”

“Ugh.”

Even Isak wouldn’t admit it aloud, he thought Even was being fucking cute himself right now.

“So what are your plans for today?” Asked Even.

A really good question.

“I think I’ll go and look for food and then I will try and do stuff for school. What about you? You’re still with your family, right?”

Even hummed. “Yes, yes. We are hiking actually. Right now we are resting at a restaurant. I’m already up since 7 o’clock.”

_What the fuck?!_

“What? You didn’t tell me that. Since 7 o’clock?!

“I did baby. You just hadn’t seen my messages from last night yet.” Isak heard Even say with a smile in his voice.

“Oh, uh. Right. Forgot about that. Sorry.”

Isak heard some other voices, probably Even’s parents. There was a rustling and Even shouting something and laughing before the rustling stopped.

“Sorry!”

“No worries.” Isak smiled.

“I have to hang up actually. Talk to you later?”

“Uh okay.” Isak tried hard not to pout but he was sure Even could hear it through the line.

“I’m sorry, baby. But we really have to go now.”

“If you say you are sorry once again, I swear to god Even…!”

Even laughed. “I’m sorry.”

“Even!!”

“Oh. Uhm.” Even was fully laughing now. The most beautiful sound…

_Damn it Isak!_

“Just--   Uhm. Have fun and take care okay?”

“Okay.” Whispered Even softly.

“Okay.”

There was silence for a while and then Even cleared his throat. “I miss you.” And he said it so fucking sweet Isak felt like crying.

“I miss you too, baby.” Isak smiled, phone pressed to his ear.

And when Even knew how true it was and how annoyed his friends had been yesterday about it.

“We should go for a hike together sometime.”

“Yeah.” Isak whispered silently. “I would like that.”

“Okay.” Whispered Even back. “Bye baby. Take care.”

“Bye Even.”

Isak hung up and sighed, a smile still spread over his face. A smile, he was sure, was going to stay for a while.

What a nice way to start the day.

_Isak, you are lost. Lost, lost, lost…_

_In love?_

-

 

**14:04**

Isak took a shower and ate something before he laid back down into bed. His headache was still bugging him but at least he felt a little bit more like a human after the shower and the food. And he really was going to do some stuff for school later. That was the final deal he had made with himself.

Even’s pretty face was a permanent companion in his mind and the sound of his laugh was still ringing in his ears. And Isak just loved it. It was a distraction but he loved it.

And yes, the smile was still there.

Isak discharged his phone and turned the display on. After a quick look he realized, that Even had indeed sent him some messages last night.

Some…

_What the hell?!_

 

 

Even <3 (22:00):

Hey Baby. How are you doing? :) <3

 

Even <3 (22:21):

I’ll go for a hike tomorrow, so I have to get up early.

Can I call you for a minute?

Miss your voice :(

 

Even <3 (22:32):

Everything alright?

 

Even <3 (22:48):

Either you’re sleeping or you’re with the guys

 

Even <3 (22:52):

But I think most likely with the guys?

 

Even <3 (23:15):

Isak? :(

 

Even <3 (23:30):

Okay, I give up.

I definitely have to sleep now.

 

Even <3 (23:25):

Have a good night, baby.

Take care and text me as soon as you see this pls!

 

Even <3 (23:27):

I’ll dream about you <3

 

Even <3 (07:07):

Isak, what are you doing?! Haha

Hope you’re alright <3

 

Even <3 (09:30):

I just saw a bird, kissing another bird.

At least it looked like it.

Okay, that sounds pathetic. I’m sorry.

Anyway, my point was that I had to think of you :)

 

Even <3 (09:35):

Okay, who am I kidding…

I’m always thinking about you <3

 

Even <3 (10:45):

Wish you were here with me.

 

Even <3 (11:15):

Isaak? Baby?

 

Even <3 (11:35):

No, I’m not worried (but I AM).

Sorry but I am.

 

Even <3 (12:11):

You are going to hate me if you’re still sleeping (you are right?!).

But I started to ring you. AND your phone isn’t dead.

SO I won’t stop until you answer it.

 

Even <3 (12:12):

Sorry baby. But I have no chill.

I need to hear something from you.

 

Even <3 (12:12):

Don’t be mad <3

 

Even <3 (12:59):

Sorry for stalking you, baby. Haha.

I just recognized how pathetic these texts must have sound.

But I’m glad you’re alright.

Have a nice day.

Miss you <3<3

 

Isak glared, mouth agape. And he didn’t know how long he was lying here and glaring. But it felt like a long time. His smile was probably twice as wide as before and his stomach wasn’t stopping heating up.

Not in his wildest dreams he had thought Even would be this sweet and caring. But he also had never thought he would call him boyfriend someday. It felt like everything was possible now. And this feeling alone was already too much for Isak to take.

He felt so damn blessed with this boy and he couldn’t think about a time he had felt happier than the last couple of days.

And all because of Even.

 

Isak (14:22):

I’m sorry!

I was so high and I think I just didn’t check my

phone or something. Haha

I fell asleep as soon as I was in my bed.

So yeah. Sorry baby!

 

Isak (14:13):

You’re cute btw

 

Isak (14:23):

<3<3<3!

 

-

 

Eva (17:01):

Hiiii Isaaak. I miss you!! How are you doing? :)

I wanted to text you for a long time now.

But I think I didn’t have the guts to do so.

Haha. Don’t know why. Sorry.

So how are you doing? How is life?

I hope it’s okay when I ask you this but I just have to.

You know me. ;)

Someone said you started seeing some third year called Even??! :D

Just wanted to know if it’s true and if it is,

I’m really happy for you! :)

Finally there is someone to cuddle your

grumpy ass. :D And if it’s not true, don’t be sad.

The day will come when your love will show up

and steal your heart. ;)

 

Eva (17:03):

And Isak! I really wanted to text you for a long time now.

I didn’t text you bc of gossip. I hope you know that.

<3

 

Eva (17:06):

Okay, I also wanted to know if it’s true bc I wanted to

tell/ask you something if it is…

 

Isak’s probably widest grin ever, quickly started to fade and turned into worry. It was not because Eva had texted him. It was because of her last text. And that was clearly about Even. What the fuck should he think now?

Did he want to know? Whatever it was…

He had to.

So he quickly tipped a reply.

 

 

Isak (17:09):

Hey Eva! :)

Nice to hear from you.

I also had planned to text you. Haha.

Uhm. Yeah life is really great right now, what about you?

And about Even. It’s true. We’re together.

So what is it what you wanted to tell me?

 

He hadn’t to wait long until Eva replied. His heart was hammering hard and he had to concentrate to not let his mind fantasize about what she wanted to tell him about Even. He took a deep breath and opened the message.

 

Eva (17:10):

AAah omg!! I’m so happy for you!!

 

Eva (17:10):

He is very handsome! ;)

And that’s why you didn’t let me speak with him

at the party! Sneaky. ;)

 

Eva (17:11):

Oh yeah. You have to know it’s gossip.

So maybe it’s not true.

And it’s none of my business, I know.

BUT as your friend I just have to tell/ask you.

Or maybe when it’s true you know it already…

 

By now Isak almost trembling with anxiety. Was Even back together with Sonja? Was he with Sonja right now? That could be it, right?

He wasn’t going to see Even the whole weekend until Sunday evening. So Even could have just pretend to be with his parents. But was Even someone who pretended things?

Everything had felt so real. Not just for Isak, he had thought he had seen it in Even too. But was he just being kind of love-sick? Just not seeing the truth right in front of him?

All the nice words, kisses and touches. Has everything been a lie? Was it possible? It most likely was. People could be cruel. And if there was one thing Isak had learned was, that people could make you happy in seconds, but they also could crash you as quickly.

Was Even like this?

But when he really was with Sonja, why had he sent Isak all this concerned messages over night? Why should he do that? Spent so much time with messages just to play Isak?

_No._

Isak (17:12):

?

 

Isak (17:12):

Spill Eva!

 

Isak (17:12):

Please

 

No.

Even wasn’t that kind of guy. Isak just knew. He probably had secrets but who hadn’t? And it was Even’s choice only to tell him his secrets. They were at the beginning of their relationship, they were still getting to know each other.

No, Even wasn’t a cruel person.

Right?

 

His phone vibrated.

 

Eva (17:13):

Okay. Sorry.

I just heard from Vilde (clearly),

that Even had transferred from Bakka bc he

kind of snapped or something?

I don’t know what happened. But apparently he

is bipolar? And I just wanted to know you’re alright.

I didn’t know if you know about that.

But I just had to think about you and your parents.

Omg I’m so sorry for bringing it up.

Don’t know what I’m doing right now. Sorry!

I just wanted to check you’re alright.

 

 

Eva (17:20):

Isak?

 


	24. Why are you here

(Even)

 

**Sunday, 06.11.**

**15:15**

Also when Even was pretending he wasn’t, he clearly had been avoiding Isak over the weekend. And it hurt. They had texted and talked on the phone twice but still. Even missed him, he felt like he would kind of say slowly goodbye. Which was stupid without knowing Isak’s reaction to his illness.

The fear was bigger. And fear had the power to make people run. Easy as that. Even was afraid. He always was fucking afraid when it came to his illness. It was something he couldn’t control, the same as he couldn’t control people’s opinions towards it or control people so they would stay in his life.

But Even was almost familiar with this feeling by now. He was accustomed with the fear people leaving or judging him. People were like that.

Judging.

Leaving.

 

-

 

Baby <3 (16:04):

Are you going to stay the night? :)

 

Even (16:08):

Sorry but I’ll meet a friend later…

 

Even (16:08):

But can I still come before it? <3

 

Baby <3 (16:09):

Oh okay. Of course, come as soon as you can <3

 

Baby <3 (16:09):

And you can also come later to sleep here if you want :)

 

Baby <3 (16:09):

Just saying.

 

Even (16:11):

Okay. Thanks baby :)

 

Even (16:11):

See you in a bit <3

 

Baby <3 (16:11):

<3

 

-

 

**16:31**

The desire to see Isak was bigger than his fear.

He practically craved for the boy. His fears had to deal with themselves now. Isak was what he needed. Strange as it sounded.

And that’s how he found himself standing in front of Isak’s door, ringing the bell.  Even was nervous, as if they were seeing each other for the first time. His hands were sweaty and he heard his heart pounding quickly in his ears.

Then the door opened and he was welcomed by a grinning Eskild.

“Finally!” Eskild sighed. “I thought about calling you if you wouldn’t turn up today. You know I love Isak but his grumpiness reached a new level this weekend.”

Even chuckled and his heart felt warm at the thought Isak being grumpy because Even had been gone the whole weekend.

“My deepest respect for putting yourself up with him.” Eskild continued. “I don’t want to say you shouldn’t, oh dear you definitely should. But his grumpiness? How do you handle it?”

And before Even could answer there were footsteps approaching behind Eskild and Isak was calling:

“Eskild!! Was it the doorbell?”

_Isak._

A wide smile started to spread over Even’s face when he heard Isak’s voice. His sweet boy.

Eskild watched him and hummed before he broke into a wide smile as well. “I see…”

He took a step back to make room for Even to come in. As soon as Even was inside and he spotted Isak approaching him everything faded around this boy. As if the light was only on Isak, letting everything else stay in the dark.

“Uhm. There’s definitely too much love in the air to take right now. Have fun boys. Stay safe!” Eskild chuckled next to Even.

And with that he turned around and walked to his room. Not that Even really noticed it, his whole attention was still on Isak. His blonde curls were messy and he wore a big, grey hoodie and sweatpants. Somehow Even had this feeling that Isak had spent most of the time in bed this weekend.

With two more strides Isak approached him and threw his arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. His face pressed against Even’s shoulders and Even embraced him tightly back. He buried his nose in soft blode curls and breathed him in.

_I need you so much._

Fuck, it felt so powerful. Even was overwhelmed standing in Isak’s arms. But he didn’t let himself think about ‘it’. About what it meant.

The fear, the fear…

But deep inside he knew.

“Hi.” Mumbled Isak, his warm breath stroking his skin.

“Hey.”

Isak pulled back and gave him a small peck on the lips before he grabbed his hand and started to lead them to his room.

 

-

 

“I suppose you were doing stuff for school.” Observed Even when they were sitting on Isak’s bed and he noticed the floor in Isak’s room was scattered with books and notes.

“Ugh. Please don’t remind me.” Isak groaned.

“Can I help you somehow?”

“Nah, it’s fine. I already texted Sana, she is going to help me with it tomorrow after school.” He told him. “But thanks.”

Isak smiled softly at him and Eskild’s words from before popped up in Even’s head. To answer Eskild’s question; All he saw in front of him was the softest boy ever.

 

-

 

After Even had told Isak everything he had experienced this weekend, they lay silently in Isak’s bed. Facing each other, sometimes meeting in the middle to steal sweet, sweet kisses.

Isak was being unbelievably cute and caring today. Not that he wasn’t usually. But there was something different. He almost seemed to be very careful.

“How are the boys doing?” Asked Even after a while.

“Good. I mean, Mags is being Mags. You know how he could be.” Sighed Isak and traced his fingers over Even’s collarbone.

“Did something happen?”

“No. Just annoying questions…”

“Okay?”

“You know like about sex with guys and stuff.”

“Oh.” Even chuckled. “What did you say?”

“I told him to google it.”

“Yeah, he probably should.” Laughed Even and kissed Isak’s forehead. “And you are alright?”

It was still new for Isak to talk open about his sexuality. Even had seen the big steps he had made in the last week. Everything was still new and it could get kind of overwhelming from time to time. That was comprehensible. He seemed to be alright though. And Even couldn’t be happier for him.

Isak hummed, eyes locked on the collar of Even’s shirt. “Yeah.” He hesitated but after a while he continued. “There is just…”

“What is it?” Even asked, he honestly hadn’t thought about Isak being unhappy about the decision of coming out to his friends.

Isak set up on the bed with an expression on his face Even didn’t collate. Quickly he set up as well, concern starting to creep up his stomach as he waited for Isak to go on. Isak’s eyes were focused on his hands and he seemed to struggle to find the right words.

“It’s just…” Isak frowned and bit his lip, eyes quickly darting to Even and back on his kneading hands. “A friend of mine, Eva, texted me yesterday. We were really good friends once but then something happened and… Yeah. Anyway--  Uhm… She asked me about you and if we are together…”

“…So people know?” Even asked although he knew the answer. They know. The other question was, how was Isak dealing with it…

“Uhm yeah. But that’s not the point.”

“No?”

Isak took a deep breath and took Even’s hands into his, than he looked up to meet his eyes and Even could finally read his expression again. A mix of concern, fear, tenderness and affection. What does this mean?

“Even, I’m sorry.”

_What happened?_

“What happened?”

“It should have been your own choice to tell me this. I know that. But--  “

_Fuck._

“Isak.”

“No, Even. Please listen.”

He squeezed Even’s hands and searched his face, eyes piercing his. He took another deep breath before he continued. “You just have to know, that it doesn’t change anything for me. I know it probably sounds stupid now and I don’t want to hurt you with this... But I made some research and read that there could be times where... where they can feel worthless and live in doubt to be enough. I just tell you that because when there should be a time for you to feel this way… I’m here. As long as you want me to. Okay?”

“I…”

Even was speechless. What the fuck just happened? Or what was happening?

Isak brushed some hair out of Even’s face and looked at him with so much certainty, it almost hurt. And Even didn’t know how he should feel about all of this. He felt overwhelmed, scared, happy and sad at the same time.

_Life can’t be that good._

There is always something. Something bad to follow.

“You--  You know.” Even stuttered, cursing himself for his pointless remark.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Whispered Isak, his hand stroking calming through his hair.

“I’m bipolar.” Even stated.

_And you are here._

_Why?_

“You are.” Isak whispered and kissed his knuckles.

_Why._

“I didn’t want to find out like this. It should have been you to tell me. It should have been your decision, baby.”

_Baby…_

_Why are you here?_

“Why…?”

_…are you here?_

“Why what, baby?” Isak asked concerned.

“Why are you here?”

Confusion appeared on Isak’s face but vanished again as quickly as it came. And Even watched astonished how Isak put his hands on Even’s cheeks and closed the distance between them. Shortly before their lips should meet he whispered:

“Because I want you.”

 

And his eyes seemed to pierce right through Even’s soul.

 


	25. Stones into ash

_(Isak)_

**Sunday, 06.11.**

**17:39**

“I’m not good for you…”

“That’s not true, Even.”

“I will hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“I will…” Even whispered.

_No!_

Even was sunk into the pillows, eyes strictly avoiding Isak’s. He looked so small and vulnerable, Isak hated it. That wasn’t what Isak had thought would happen. But Isak should have known, everything had been too perfect lately.

“You won’t, Even. At least not on purpose.”

He turned Even’s face softly with his hands to face him again. But Even’s eyes were fixed downwards, strictly avoiding Isak's gaze.

“And it’s bullshit to talk about what could happen.” Isak continued. “We are here. Not in the future. Nobody knows what will happen. The only thing what matters right now is that we are here, together. And I want you.” He said and stroke his thumb over Even’s cheek. “And you want me...” Whispered Isak before he gave him a light kiss on the other cheek. “Right?”

“You don’t know what it means.” Even whispered. “It’s… much.” He bit his lip and looked finally up to meet Isak’s gaze. “It’s not easy and it can be rough.”

“I know that. But I don’t care.” Isak said softly but Even stared at him in disbelieve.

“You should care!” Even said, eyes staring into Isak’s. “Don’t you understand? I’m not good for you, I’m crazy, my head is crazy and I’m able to hurt people when I’m manic!” He let out a breath and went on. “And after that it’s not like I’m lying in bed for two days and everything is good again. It takes weeks! I can’t do that to you. I can’t-- ”

“Stop!”

Even startled and looked at Isak with wide eyes. Isak who was hovering over him now. Trying to find a way how he could make Even to believe him.

“You have to listen to me Even.” He said. “You are sick and not crazy. And it’s not your fault. I know an episode can last for a long time. I don’t know your case though. I just know the facts I learned in school and read on the internet. You can tell me about them if you want. But the main point is…” Isak looked Even deep into his eyes. “You are as good for me as I am for you! You were the one I was falling for. And you are the one who makes me happier than I have ever been.” Isak said tenderly. “It’s my choice. And I choose you.”

Now it was Even’s turn to break into tears. And it broke Isak’s heart. How could he not see how beautiful he was? How could he not see how loving and caring he was? It broke Isak’s heart to watch Even being so severe with himself.

“Baby.”

Isak took Even’s face into his hands and tried to wipe his tears away with his thumbs.

“Shhhh... We are together now.” Isak whispered and he captured a tear with his lips. “I’ll take care of you.”

And Isak didn’t say it just because he wanted calm Even down. He said it because he meant it. He truly did. Isak would take care of Even, as long as he could, he would take care of him.

But Even didn’t want to believe him.

“No. It’s not your place.” He said. “It’s not, Isak. And I understand. You don’t have to say this shit, you don’t know what it means to ‘take care’ of me.”

Even tried to keep his voice calm, but he failed. And he still wasn’t looking at him, eyes focused on his hands. Hands clamped around the verge of his hoodie.

_I know what it means._

“I know what it means.” Mumbled Isak.

He remembered how hopeless everything could feel just from watching her. He had seen. And he had failed. Isak had failed his mother, his family. He had run away from her. His mother who had needed him, Isak had left. So what was he doing? Why was he saying to Even all this things when he had run once?

Who said he wouldn’t do it again?

But he had learned, hadn’t he?

“Yeah.” Said Even.

It went quiet for a while until Even shifted in his position and looked at Isak for a small moment. “Why don’t you live with your parents, Isak?”

Isak’s mind went blank. He understood. Of course he did, if he was in Even’s position, knowing Isak’s mum having a mental illness, he would ask the same. And he knew why Even asked, he knew. But it still hurt. Like most of his memories with his mother. Those which had replaced the good ones.

_I’m so sorry._

He closed his eyes as he started to speak.

“My dad left. He left and I was alone with my mum. She hadn’t been diagnosed then, so I had no idea what was going on. I…” Isak took a deep breath. “I freaked.”

Even clenched his jaw and his knuckles turned white because he was holding his hoodie so firm. But he didn’t say anything.

“So I left. I know it was wrong and there is no apology for that. I let her down, she needed me and I let her down.” Whispered Isak and rubbed his burning eyes. “I didn’t leave her on her own, my dad came back after a week and I told him I had to go. So I went.”

Even cleared his throat. “You did the right thing.”

“I don’t know. I still feel like I let her down. But it was also kind of a self-protection. And sometimes I think it was okay I left. But most of the time I don’t. She is better now, my dad is with her and she goes to therapy.”

Isak swallowed, all this old memories where swirling in his head. His mother’s screams in the night, his father’s shouts in the hall. Shouting Isak’s name to come and help him. And Isak always came to help, until one day he didn’t.

He didn’t.

“It wasn’t the right thing to do to run away from my mum.” Isak continued. “And I know it. I haven’t seen her since then but I called her yesterday.”

Isak smiled at the memory of his mother’s voice on the phone, loving and caring. To know she could sometimes still make Isak feel better by soothing him, was everything for him.

Even nodded but didn’t look up.

“I did freak out, Even. And I learned from it. But I won’t leave again.”

And this time Isak knew, he wouldn’t leave. Not this time. He would fight for them. And he would fight for his mother too now.

"I want you, all of you, Even. Also this part. Please.” Isak said softly.

_Please let me take care of you._

He was about to scoot nearer, to take Even’s hand but than Even looked up and gosh, he looked so broken. His eyes looked so hurt and hopeless. And to see this expression was the worst. Slowly Isak started to feel desperate as well.

“I’m going to hurt you.”

_No, no, no, NO!_

“Baby, please…” Isak’s voice broke.

He was going to leave him. He was going to leave him because of this.

“No, Isak! I can’t do this to you. I can’t.”

Even get up and slumped down at the edge of the bed, head buried in his hands.

“Don’t say that. Please Even, don’t say that!”

_Don’t leave me._

Isak felt on the edge of tears, a big lump started to build in his throat and he felt like he was going to choke. He quickly made his way next to Even but he made sure to let space between them. To let Even calm himself down, he could see that it would probably make things worse if he would cling to him right now.

He knew. He had seen before.

“There are days where I feel empty. I just know that I exist. I can’t do more. I can’t even feel. I can’t move. The only thing I can do is breathe although I wish then I couldn’t.” Whispered Even, his voice small and muffled. “But you, you have to feel, Isak. You have to feel happiness and Colours. I don’t want to take them from you. I don’t. You deserve the happiness of the world.” Even looked up, eyes boring into Isak’s. “And you should have that!”

Isak stared at him. He felt fear creep up as he watched Even’s hard eyes on him. That couldn’t be it, it couldn’t. No fucking way.

“You don’t take it from me, Even.”

“But I will.”

_You won’t._

“You won’t.”

“I will.” Even spit, turned away and threw his arms in the air. “I will. And you know it!”

“No! You won’t! That’s what I know. You don’t know shit. I know okay. I know.”

Tears were running down Isak’s cheek but there was anger bubbling in Isak too now.

“I can’t let it happen!” Even said desperate.

He stared into Even’s head who was breathing hard and ruffling his hair. What happened? What was happening with them? Even had to believe him, he had to trust Isak in this. Why couldn’t he?

“What are you talking about?? What is this now Even?!” Isak almost screamed.

And quick as this, his heart was exposed on the floor between them. People should always watch their happiness before something would smash it in seconds, thought Isak.

Even didn’t answer and the silence killed him. It was worse than every word. As wrong as it sounded, silence screamed too. And Isak felt like he would start to panic soon.

_Don’t fucking dare!_

“Even!” He sobbed. “Even, what does this mean now?!”

“I don’t know.”

_Please._

They set next to each other on the bed and for Isak it felt like the world had started to turn, quicker and quicker. And he wasn’t fast enough to catch up. He wasn’t fast enough, the hand he had held before was slipping out of his. Fast.

“Please don’t leave me…” Isak whispered quietly.

And then there was silence again.

Finally Even turned his head to meet Isak’s eyes.

Blue met green.

“I don’t want to leave you.” He whispered. “But I should.”

_No, baby._

It felt like a whole ton of stones had been lifted from Isak’s chest and he could breathe again. That wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be.

Isak stared at him and then he slowly started to reach out his hand to run her though Even’s soft hair. His soft, fluffy hair. The boy closed his eyes at this touch and shuddered.

“No.” Isak said softly. “No, baby. You shouldn’t.”

He let himself slide on the floor and knelt in front of Even. His hands resting on his tights, drawing small circles into the fabric of Even’s jeans.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. When--  When I’ll have an episode.” Even said quietly.

“That’s what it means to be in a relationship, to take care of each other.” Whispered Isak as he stroked his thumb over Even’s cheek. “You will do the same for me, won’t you?”

Even looked up and nodded. “Yes.” He smiled.

_I need you so much._

“Then let’s do this together. Everything. The good things and the bad things. I think we are a good team, we are able to fight everything.” Smiled Isak back. “We will fight everything. You and me.” Isak chuckled under his breath. “We will turn stones into ash and fire into snow.”

Even’s mouth turned into a small grin.

The one who could probably light up the whole world.

_The most beautiful thing…_

The smile which made Isak’s knee’s wobbly and his stomach heating up when he recognised Even was smiling because of him.

Even was the fucking sun. He needed someone to show and tell him this every day and Isak would show him, he would show this boy how beautiful he was. And how much he appreciated him to be in his life.

“Just remember.” Said Isak and kissed him softly on the lips. “You are not alone.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :) <3


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